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Old 05-30-2008, 12:54 PM   #1
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Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms

Okay. No Flames Please. This is my 3rd child and the 1st one I was able to breastfeed. I breastfeed for about 1 month, before I had to stop for multiple reasons. Since starting formula DD now has reflux, and we have had to change formula types, and give her medicine. I just feel soo guilty for stopping, I never felt guilty for FF my older children. To top it off DD is still interested in BFing 3 months later. Just to let you know nobody is making me feel this way, everyone I know has been very supportive of the choice, it is just me. Anyone have any advice on how to get past this.

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Old 05-30-2008, 01:21 PM   #2
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Re: Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms



You know, a lot of bf babies have reflux also. So, don't worry about that, mama! Is she on meds to help with it?

If she is still interested in nursing why don't you go ahead and nurse her? You can either try to go back at it full time or you can just nurse her in addition to the formula and enjoy the cuddling and know that she may be getting some bm.

The guilt is normal. I had horrible guilt over not nursing dd1 past a month. Sometimes it hurts me still to think that I could have persevered if I tried harder, but at the time I made the best decision I could. That is all we can do as mom's. Do the best we can!!!!
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Old 05-30-2008, 01:24 PM   #3
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Re: Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms

If you are doing what is best for your baby and you, then you shouldn't feel guilty at all. I am sure you are already, but make sure you speak to your doctor about different formulas, to make sure your baby is getting the one that is easiest on the tummy.

You stated you have other kids that were formula fed, so you know just as well as any other formula feeding Mama, that it isn't the end of the world if you don't nurse. I have a very healthly happy 3 year old, that was formula fed. I understand why everyone is encouraged to nurse. I also understand there are reasons why people can't or choose not to nurse.

With my daughter I pumped for 4 months, is it possiable for you to pump? I had to take motiliem (sp) to keep my supply up.
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Old 05-30-2008, 03:45 PM   #4
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Re: Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms

Even if you can't breast feed full time (I have to do formula supplements also) you can still nurse for comfort and snacking. My DD still nurses 6-8 times a day but also takes a bottle. We have severe reflux issues and low supply issues, too.

I also take Motilium and fenugreek to keep the supply up.
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Old 05-31-2008, 11:51 AM   #5
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Re: Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms



I stopped BF at about 1 week old due to my severe PPD. I still feel guilty to this day. I just try not to dwell on it and remember that I did what I had to do given my circumstances at the time.
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Old 06-01-2008, 04:59 PM   #6
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Re: Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms

With my one dd, I had to stop nursing at a couple of months due to not having enough milk-I cried for days because I thought I was a bad mommy-I think its very normal to feel this way but you have to do what's best for you and your family so don't let it get you down sara
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Old 06-01-2008, 05:02 PM   #7
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Re: Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms

I feel guilty and we managed to nurse parttime until almost 15mos. I felt guilty for not being able to do it at all for 3mos, and then when we finally got there, I felt guilty for not being able to do it more. Now I feel guilty for stopping the domperidone and not pumping. I don't know how to get past it except to remind yourself that you are doing the best you can for you and for your baby.
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Old 06-01-2008, 07:16 PM   #8
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Re: Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms



I think we've all been there. I still feel a bit guilty, but I know it was the right choice for us. Wetnurses have been around since the beginning of time, which to me is proof positive that breastfeeding has never been universally easy.

Some women have it easy - they're able to put baby to breast and never have a problem. For others it's not so easy, and for others it's downright impossible. You're doing what works for you and your family, and there's nothing else that anyone can ask of you.
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Old 06-01-2008, 07:26 PM   #9
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Re: Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms

I really really feel for you. The guilt is terrible.

I had very very little milk supply. I mean it was horrible. No matter what I did - pumping, mothers milk tea, fenugreek, oatmeal, tons of water, gatorade, eating, nursing every 30 min, NOTHING helped. It got so low that I was pumping one half ounce per DAY! That's all I could get no matter how often I pumped. It was terrible.

Of course ALL of my friends are just cows when it comes to BFing. I was the ONLY one with an issue.Everyone else BF'd for nearly two years. Here I am with the bottle of formula.

20 mnths later and it still hurts. So I really don't know how to tell you to deal with the guilt. Just know that you did all you could. Your baby will still be healthy and well developed. My boy is very smart and didn't have any real illness until he was 18 mnths old.
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Old 06-01-2008, 09:36 PM   #10
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Re: Advise on Guilt... Formula Feeding Moms

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~sarah~ View Post


I stopped BF at about 1 week old due to my severe PPD. I still feel guilty to this day. I just try not to dwell on it and remember that I did what I had to do given my circumstances at the time.

That is why I stopped. I couldn't even get out of bed, Dr. strongly advised me to go on medication, because it was getting worse by the day. So I can't even try to nurse now because of the meds.. It is nice to know that someone else has had the same problem.

What's horrible is I never felt guilty for not even attempting it with my other two children. I don't know maybe it is the older and wiser thing, or actually know the feeling of what it is like to nurse your child. WIth them I never tried so I never failed. KWIM
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