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Old 03-15-2008, 10:46 PM   #11
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Re: husband thinks cosleeping will mess with baby???

Actually most studies show that babies who are spoiled with attention and have their needs responded to quickly end up being way more independant, because they learn to trust their needs and cues and themselves and learn to know that they will be met.

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Old 03-15-2008, 10:53 PM   #12
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Re: husband thinks cosleeping will mess with baby???

Up until the last week (3.5 years old) I've always coslept with DJ and he has always been very independent and strong-willed. During the day, he's so busy doing his own thing that he doesn't have time for me, but he loves sleeping with me at night. James is just the opposite. I intended to cosleep with him but he never wanted any part of it. He got his loving during the day (spent about his first six months in a sling and never wanted anyone but me to hold him, talk to him, look at him ) but at night, he wanted his own space. James is a year and a half now and is just starting to come out of his shell a little but he has ALWAYS been the clingier of the two and still is clingier than I'd like (I'm all about attachment but I don't want him to be scared of other people either and a little space to breathe every now and then is nice). I don't think cosleeping or not has anything to do with either of their personalities, but I've heard a lot of people make the argument your dh is making and I always have to kind of laugh because my kids are just the opposite.

When DH started fussing about DJ sleeping in our bed (a LOOONG time ago) I told him that as long as I was the one doing his nighttime care, I was going to do it my way. Obviously dh couldn't nurse him but there was always breastmilk in the refrigerator so he was welcome to give him a bottle if he wanted to get up with him. Even with me nursing, I told him that if he wanted to get up and get him out of his crib and put him back there when he was done, then I wouldn't argue but as long as I was the one doing the waking up, we were going to do things my way. One time dh took him and put him in his own bed when he was done nursing. After that, he never complained again. Lately he's been grumbling some about him being old enough to sleep on his own but when I suggest that he put him to bed, he stops cold. Funny thing is though, now that DJ is in his own bed, when he wakes up during the night he comes to our room and if I say anything about going back to his own room, dh is always the one that says just let him sleep in here! Same thing if the bedtime routine gets off at all...he's the one that wants to take the easy way out and let him sleep with us...but then he complains when it gets to be a habit! Anyway, sorry about the rant...good luck finding a compromise that everyone can live with!
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Old 03-15-2008, 10:56 PM   #13
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Re: husband thinks cosleeping will mess with baby???

my mom coslept with me and my brother (in our crib - not in her bed *dont ask me why*) and to this day if im sick...all i want to do is curl up with my mommy in her bed...the comfort and mom smell still gets me. when my 2.5 yr old wants to sleep at her Nonnie's house my mom cosleeps with her and she coslept with my dd2 when dd1 and i were in the hospital for several days due to dd1's health issues.

i have 1 needy/clingy child - dd1 and dd2 is calm and chill...and kinda rolls with it. when d(ex)h and i were still together he was NOT thrilled with dd1 sleeping with us. but *i* needed to be well rested to take care of her all day - therefore however i was able to get enough rest was what worked for us. the more sleep i got the less crappy i was to him lol! i did eventually take the front of the crib off and smoosh it up to my side of the bed so dd1 could either sleep in her area if she wanted...or i could gently push/roll her in that direction for more room without her falling onto the floor.

2.5 yr old dd1 is now in a twin smooshed up to my bed and 9 month old dd2 is still sharing my bed. i love it! i love only having to roll over to nurse...and my biggest fear has been eased. i dont know why but i always think of a house fire...what if it happens to me and the kids are in another room and i cant get to them...scares the daylights outta me. ***i'm a BIG worrier***
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Old 03-16-2008, 01:06 AM   #14
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Re: husband thinks cosleeping will mess with baby???

Quote:
Originally Posted by courtney_adkins05 View Post
my mom coslept with me and my brother (in our crib - not in her bed *dont ask me why*)
That's so funny! When James was 4 months and went into the hospital, the room they gave us only had a crib and they brought in one folding chair (it was a storage room they'd converted for us for that night because they were over-full). Well, it was dh, me, and the baby and we had gone to urgent care at 9 p.m. and didn't get to our hospital room till almost 4 a.m. so we were all exhausted. I asked them if there was any way we could get a regular sized bed in there and they said no, but they would try to move us to a room with a "window seat" kind of cot or something the next day. In the meantime, they never even offered to bring in another chair (a wheelchair...anything!) or something so that dh and I could both sit down! Anyway, I got tired and my joints are not what they used to be so sitting on the floor got old and I finally just climbed in the crib with James. I'm sure it was quite a site...I'm almost 6 feet tall and over 200 pounds and here I was curled up in the crib with my 4 month old! We slept a good part of that morning and all the doctors and nurses that came in were just laughing and saying "aww...poor thing." It was actually more comfortable than you'd expect except that when I had to get out, I was a little stiff and crampy. Finally after the second night, one of the nurses told me that they could move the crib out and move a regular bed in but I'd have to sign a release saying that I wouldn't hold them responsible if something happens and that I won't leave him unattended since I don't have a crib. (Do people really leave their sick 4 month olds unattended in a hospital room anyway?!?!?) I was quite happy to sign the release and have a real bed for the rest of the time we were there but sleeping in the crib really wasn't as bad as it sounds!
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