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Old 04-01-2009, 08:55 AM   #1
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Wearing baby constantly - is it okay???

None of my sons were quite this high maintenance. DD wants to be held all the time, she's almost 3 weeks old and crys whenever she is put down. She won't even sleep in her own bed, and I'm not a fan of co-sleeping because I don't get any sleep, but she's sleeping with us because I get more sleep that way and so does she. I don't mind holding her, or wearing her, but is it okay to do it all day long every day? I don't want her to be overly clingy as she grows up, and I'm not sure how constant wearing will affect her. I used to think it was a bad thing, then I read about how some cultures always carry their babies, and thought, well that's good, now I'm getting lots of commentary about how "bad" it is. Also, I want her to learn how to soothe her self and put her self to sleep and bond with dad, so how will 24/7 contact with mom affect things?


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Last edited by kaspears17; 04-01-2009 at 08:56 AM. Reason: change title
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Old 04-01-2009, 09:05 AM   #2
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Re: Wearing baby constantly - is it okay???

Your doing great Mama At three weeks there's no possible way to spoil her or make her overly clingy. All she knows is you, all she cares about is you. Love on her as much as possible and tell the nay-sayers that you're sorry they are jealous that your baby loves you so much
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Old 04-01-2009, 09:15 AM   #3
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Re: Wearing baby constantly - is it okay???

Nope! Not bad at all. I wore DD all the time when she was little. It was the only way I got anything accomplished esp with a 2 year old at home too. She is now 2 1/2 and happy and healthy and doesn't want me to hold her all the time now that she can run, jump, and play. You are not spoiling her at all. She wants you to hold her/wear her since that is what she was most used to for 9 mo in utero. DD loved the pouch since she felt at "home."
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Old 04-01-2009, 10:00 AM   #4
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Re: Wearing baby constantly - is it okay???

I swear to you that I did not put my middle daughter down but to shower for the first 3 months of her life. She literally lived in arms or in the maya wrap for 3 months. We couldn't leave the house, we barely got dressed every day, etc. She was literally held for 3 months straight before she figured out how to survive away from my skin. And she turned into a lovely child. So you are not spoiling your child or hurting her.
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Old 04-01-2009, 10:03 AM   #5
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Re: Wearing baby constantly - is it okay???

Don't put that baby down mama!!! She just spent 9 months essentially being held inside of you, she very well may need to be held for the next few months! You absolutely can not spoil a three week old. You have plenty of time for self soothing later when she's a little bigger, right now she just needs her mama's touch!
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Old 04-01-2009, 10:33 AM   #6
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Re: Wearing baby constantly - is it okay???

Not only is it ok, it's absolutely wonderful!
You're not spoiling her at all, you're meeting her needs. Right now she needs to be held. Will she accept your DH wearing her? (and will DH accept it ) If she will thats a great way for them to bond and you to get a break.
I'm sorry people are trying to tell you it's bad, I would just ignore them, but my fav comeback is: "children are spoiled by things, not love"
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Old 04-01-2009, 12:20 PM   #7
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Re: Wearing baby constantly - is it okay???

I agree that it sounds perfectly normal for a three week old. I would give her some time to adjust to her new world and not worry for now about her doing things on her own. You can slowly reach those goals down the road as she gets older and is capable of doing more. Right now I would concentrate on recovering post partum and fulfilling her needs. We co-sleep for the first few months. We did not plan to but it is what worked at the time so I hear you totally! Just hang in there and do what is best for your family.
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Old 04-01-2009, 01:44 PM   #8
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Re: Wearing baby constantly - is it okay???

At 3 weeks, I think you're fine. I would try to put her down some. I would put a clingy 3-week-old down -- near you -- when she's fed and well rested, and if she cries, maybe give her a minute and then pick her up. But what I'd be careful about is continuing the constant wearing more than another month or so. I'm in the minority on this, I think, but...

My niece's baby is almost two. She was hard to put down, and her parents didn't. They carried her everywhere, all the time. She got worse, so that she wouldn't nap unless she was being worn in a dark, quiet place. (Walked. They couldn't sit down.) At the same time, she got huge -- 25 pounds by 6 months, 35 by a year -- and my niece had a lot of back problems because of it. More than that, though, the baby has never learned to self-soothe (in two years), and has no interest in playing by herself. She also has never learned to nap by herself. My niece has had 23 months of extremely few showers, no private time, and difficulty eating her own meals, cooking, or cleaning, because her toddler starts wailing to be held and to nurse. She now says that she wishes she had put her daughter down more in the first year and a half. I think this is an extreme example, but....

In my case, I have spoiled DD2. Not to the same extent, but she had digestive issues and didn't sleep well, so I let her nurse and nap on my lap, and co-sleep at night. I figured I could handle sitting down for an hour twice a day for a year. Problem! By 4 or 5 months DD2 was social enough to want to pay attention to DD1, and if DD1 talks or laughs, DD2 wakes up. She's not getting the sleep I want her to have! And also, DD1 is not getting the attention and consistent discipline that I'd be able to get her if I didn't have a sleeping baby on my lap for an hour at a time. Plus, I'm exhausted.

So again, I'd say you're fine for now, but continue to give your child opportunities to learn that it's okay to sit on a blanket or swing or bed.

Mama to E 3/06 and M 7/08

Last edited by S Starr; 04-01-2009 at 01:45 PM.
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