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Old 03-17-2008, 05:35 PM   #1
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"Being different" damaging to children?

Ds's father and I don't believe in celebrating Easter the way that most celebrate, as in egg hunts and gobs of candy. His family doesn't celebrate at all, so explaining our beliefs falls on to me. When I explained to the family that we will not be participating in the hunt and that we will be late for the dinner due to church, well, let's just say it wasn't taken lightly. I've been accused of "stunting his (ds) social growth." I guess my question to everyone is, will not participating with the other children harm him mentally?

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Old 03-17-2008, 05:38 PM   #2
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Re: "Being different" damaging to children?

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Old 03-17-2008, 05:45 PM   #3
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Re: "Being different" damaging to children?

IMO everyone is different in some way. I guess the concern is does he feel isolated? or is he surrounded with people who care about him? more to say but J. isn't being too agreeable atm
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Old 03-17-2008, 06:16 PM   #4
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Re: "Being different" damaging to children?

I don't see why it would. But hey, I dont' do anything normal so I guess my kids are going to turn out pretty damaged if it is true. The whole holiday thing seems to be a big contention to alot of families. Seems if you do'nt want to go for the regular american traditions people think you are crazy and hurting your kids in some way. But you have to do what is right for your kids and your family and tell everyone else to back off and get over it.
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Old 03-17-2008, 07:21 PM   #5
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Re: "Being different" damaging to children?

I think every holiday is over hyped...yes we participate in the small things, but I dont overly stress them like my family feels we should! I dont want my kids to expect HUGE presents and expensive things, and etc. I want them to enjoy being with the family, be thankful for the smallest things and not be afraid to BE DIFFERENT! My kids will have a basket, but it will be filled with things they'll get use out of...play dough/crayons...things they need house shoes, etc. Yup, theyll get SOME candy, but we'll put extra emphasis on spending time together making things for Easter...brownies/ colored eggs...and tonight we dyed dresses and shirts for the kids to wear for Easter! They had a BLAST making instead of buying thier outfit!

But this is coming from a mama who does everything outside the "norm"
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Old 03-17-2008, 07:43 PM   #6
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Re: "Being different" damaging to children?

It's weird..Easter was never about candy when I was little. We got a basket with socks and underwear in it, went to church, hunted real eggs, then had egg salad sandwiches. Nothing like what it is to most families. Then again, my mom has been told it's her fault my bro and I don't spend time with the rest of the family much. Here I thought it was because we don't like them.
Even my mom has turned against me on this one...for some reason she thinks that he needs toys every time she goes shopping. I've heard that's how gma's are, though.
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Old 03-17-2008, 08:26 PM   #7
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Re: "Being different" damaging to children?

I'd never seen an easter egg hunt till I moved here.
We don't bother with that stuff either, so I must have socailly stunted children. We don't do Valentines either. It's all hype. Your kids will be fine, mine are (one is 19 and socially doing fine)
What kind of crazy is it to fill the kids full of HFCS and chocolate then send them home, all done in fancy clothes they better not drip anything on.
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Old 03-17-2008, 08:35 PM   #8
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Re: "Being different" damaging to children?

all that hype is, I think, more damaging to our kids ... ... It's like our whole society has twisted the 'traditions' of gathering with family into a frenzy of materialism ...kids now wanting bigger & better & more. It gets so out of control. Easter baskets when I was little were, well, little! now go into the store & your eyes get all bugged out at how HUGE they have become!

nope, we don't do that stuff either and who knows... maybe we will be raising the only 'normal' kids in the world!
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Old 03-17-2008, 08:54 PM   #9
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Re: "Being different" damaging to children?

There is great value in your kids seeing you stand up for your beliefs when they are challenged. You're doing the right thing by doing it your way...and ultimately his "social growth" is better served by your lesson not to give in to outside pressure and go along with the crowd even when it feels wrong
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Old 03-17-2008, 09:25 PM   #10
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Re: "Being different" damaging to children?

We do the egg coloring and Egg hunt just because its fun for them not because it means anything. We dont do candy in the baskets either. This year neither are getting baskets and we dont do curch at all so we arent attending that either.

I dont think that it harms them at all. When they are old enough they can decide for themselves what they believe in and what they want to do.
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