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Old 03-20-2008, 05:46 PM   #11
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from molesting me

Mama, I'm sure he understands much more than you think. Be consistant. Every time tell him "No, I don't like that" in a calm, serious voice. I would get off the bed if that is where you are, get off the couch if that is where you are, etc.

Can you wear a couple nursing pads so that he can't find your nips so easily?

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Old 03-20-2008, 05:54 PM   #12
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from molesting me

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Originally Posted by Gracielou View Post
She used the word correctly.
Thank you! I worked for a storage company that used the word in the contract regarding property so I was pretty sure that was not about sexually molesting storage boxes. lol
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Old 03-20-2008, 05:59 PM   #13
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

the pads might work, i will try that. just means ill have to wear a bra.lol thanks
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Old 03-20-2008, 05:59 PM   #14
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from molesting me

Either way with how BFing is looked at that word (whichever meaning you meant) is defiantly very offensive.

I see you changed it
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Old 03-20-2008, 06:01 PM   #15
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

Both of my older boys went through a phase where they would do that if I was carrying them, luckily it never progresed to anything more than that becuase It drove me crazy, mostly because it hurt. I agree with the PP to just be consistant at telling him NO and removing yourself from the situation. He will soon learn that he doesnt get to sit with or next to mommy when he does it.
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Old 03-20-2008, 06:51 PM   #16
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

Do toddler girls have this problem, or is this more of a boy thing? Just curious. I am a FTM who is planning to breast feed my LO arriving in May and have never considered this could be an issue. But it makes sense if the child breastfeeds for that long. I plan to breastfeed as long as possible (till she weans herself).
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Old 03-20-2008, 09:31 PM   #17
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

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Do toddler girls have this problem, or is this more of a boy thing? Just curious. I am a FTM who is planning to breast feed my LO arriving in May and have never considered this could be an issue. But it makes sense if the child breastfeeds for that long. I plan to breastfeed as long as possible (till she weans herself).
Girls do it, too. And I don't think it matters when they wean.
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Old 03-20-2008, 09:54 PM   #18
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

I just weaned DS for similar reasons, and now that he is not nursing it is worse. I wasn't bothered while nursing and was sad to wean but am 6 months along and he was having issues w/ my milk as well.
I find that often he wants to snuggle it. If I hold him close to my chest and tell him firmly no that he can have a drink from a cup of milk he will take the cup and I just hold him close. I think it is more about missing being close to me than the actually milk
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Old 03-21-2008, 04:37 AM   #19
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

Your son wants your attention. He is trying to get it in the way that he knows how. When it started he probably did it infrequently to get your attention, the more you reacted negatively and pushed him away the more he did it. Now, it is happening regularly. He wants his "mommy time." BF babies so often get the majority of their mommy time up close next to the breast that this is what is associated as being close to mommy.

This is not going to stop immediately but I hope you will see a change soon enough that it will motivate you to continue to follow through. When your son does this, give him what he wants - you. Redirect his hands by putting them around your neck and giving him a big hug. Then as soon as his hands are somewhere "appropriate" start praising him, "Oh, you love Mama," "That's Mama's big boy," "There's my sweet love." All the things you say to your child when you are loving on him. Then, give him something to put in his hands, a sippy cup, finger foods, a book, small toy, etc. and spend some time with him on your lap or snuggled up next to you in bed or a cozy chair.

I know this is hard and it will take some practice, patience and extra endurance on your part. This is especially complicated with a new baby....he sees baby getting all the mommy time and the booby time and since he associates the 2 together....well, you see where this is going.

You are the mommy, you set the pace, you set the example. While he is spending that time with you, make sure to give him lots of praise.....That's my big boy, you are such a big boy to sit with mommy, I am so proud of you, I like the way you give me hugs, I like the way you are sitting with mommy, etc etc.

Once you have shown him how to spend time with you in a way that you feel is appropriate, and you know that he understands it, when he tries to touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, then put him down. Don't fuss, raise your voice etc, just say something like, "that's not how big boy's love on mama" or "no touch," or "not for (insert name here). Keep it simple and whatever phrase you choose, use that phrase consistently." Be firm and do not raise your voice.

Between you showing him how to get your attention in a positive way and you giving him the attention that he wants in a positive way, he will learn quickly how to get what he needs from you.

I hope this helps you. Please let me know. Try to remember, he is not trying to make you puch him away, he is trying to get closer to you, in the only way he knows how.
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Old 03-21-2008, 12:12 PM   #20
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Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

I would say cut the kid some slack. He's having a difficult time adjusting to a new baby and learning to share his mother. Breastfeeding was one way he felt close to you, that doesn't go away overnight. Please be gentle with him, he's not going to understand right away that touching your breasts makes you uncomfortable when for so long they provided him comfort and nourishment. Find other ways to be loving and close to him, give him one-on-one time. If he tries to grab at your breasts, get down on his level and look him in the eyes and say "you must want to be close to mommy right now, how about a hug"? If you can redirect him and still show him that there are other ways to receive comfort from you he will feel more secure and adjust more quickly.
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