Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-21-2008, 04:45 PM   #21
empress_embellishments's Avatar
empress_embellishments
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Red Stick, Louisiana
Posts: 520
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

"get down on his level and look him in the eyes and say "you must want to be close to mommy right now, how about a hug"? If you can redirect him and still show him that there are other ways to receive comfort from you he will feel more secure and adjust more quickly" katiejd334, I really like the way you stated that!

Advertisement

__________________
, , frugal, GREEN, Recycling, Mama! Looking forward to , and
ing again!
empress_embellishments is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2008, 08:07 PM   #22
LilHippyMamma's Avatar
LilHippyMamma
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Leavenworth, KS
Posts: 2,023
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

my middle son stopped at 6 months old and at 3yrs old he still soemtimes pulls things with trying to touch them. It's a comfort
__________________
~Laci~ Proud Army Wife to Bryan and AP Mamma to Aidan (8), Keagan (6), Brooklyn (4) and Peyton 21month)
LilHippyMamma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2008, 11:24 AM   #23
immamom's Avatar
immamom
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 179
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

I agree with the other posters; hes just trying to be close to you. And even though he doesnt remember how to breast feed he knows that somehow there is comfort there. So be patient with you. Remember that maybe since you are pregnant there is also a lot going on with you so maybe your disgust with his touching might also have to do with all your hormonal changes.

Your son needs you,and he senses that you are pushing him away. Maybe you can have more cuddle time with him but give him something else to play with e.g. a blanket. That plus telling him firmly that you dont like what he is doing would probably work. He just needs to be close to you but give him a substitute other than your breast.

Good luck mama and show that little boy of yours how much you really love him.
__________________
Check out my blog on motherhood
http://www.inspiredbychinua.blogspot.com.

Love protects www.love146.org
immamom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2008, 11:54 AM   #24
mistylaureena's Avatar
mistylaureena
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Greeley, CO
Posts: 6,359
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from molesting me

Quote:
Originally Posted by calideedle View Post
First he is not molesting you he is doing this for comfort!
Mikey does the same thing and he unfortunately never was able to breastfeed. And Mikey is 28 months old. They are NOT doing it to fondle you, they are doing it to be close and comfortable. I think that maybe some counseling to understand your feelings and why he does this would benefit you both.
__________________
Misty--Mama to Mikey.... crossing fingers for more babies!

Last edited by mistylaureena; 03-22-2008 at 12:00 PM. Reason: forgot NOT which made the sentence completely different
mistylaureena is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2008, 12:57 PM   #25
Griffinsmom's Avatar
Griffinsmom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,536
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

I'm kind of horrified at how people have jumped on the OP.Poor choice of wordcs perhaps, but pretty clear what she meant.
I am all in favor of extended breastfeeding but also feel very uncomfortable with my lo playing with my boobs. I have managed it by wearing nursing bras so even when one boob is out, the other is tucked away and covered.
I don't think it's ALWAYS about comfort and closeness with toddlers. Sometimes it's plain old cduriosity, sometimes they experiment with ways to get attention or a rise out of mama esp when there's a new baby getting lots of attention.
I would deal with this the way I would deal with any other unwanted behavior: make sure it has no pay off and it will disappear. Try to avoid it happening and redirect him without making a big deal about it. Try to minimize his need to get negative attention. Make sure he's getting some special one on one time with you with hugs and cuddles. Make sure he knows he's still special even though there's a new baby taking up your time. Make sure you are heavily rewarding good behavior and giving him attention for it.
Griffinsmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2008, 01:14 PM   #26
mtate's Avatar
mtate
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Shorewood, IL
Posts: 941
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

i have quite the same problem with my DD. She weened herself around 9 months, as with too many things going on, my supply was getting too low for her. At 16mo she is completely fasinated with my "beebees" as she calls them. I'm not a shy mother and often bath my DD with me, so she sees them alot. She never really tries to NURSE, but she wants to always touch them, squish, pinch, grab, anything she can possibly do. She will even stick her hands down my shirt to squish them...
it was funny at first, but she gets very "frantic" and it can get quite painful when she pulls a nip (she used to do this to DH, too and he would FREAK!).
She also likes to put her head on them when we cuddle- so I know she still thinks they are for comfort.
I do not yell at her. I just remove her hands from me, ask what she is doing, and tell her that they don't belong to her anymore.
DH DOESNT help when he yells that they are HIS now... she throws a tantrum and wont let go of me- so be sure to maybe NOT try this tactic...
She laughs and thinks its funny when she is touching me, but when i remove her hand and tell her no more, she gives me a hug now...

Anyhow, good luck mama, and hug your DS!
__________________
Michelle. Navy Vet. Mommie to Emily. WAHM behind Mommie's Lil Peanut.
A budget tells us what we can't afford, but it doesn't keep us from buying it.

mtate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2008, 07:28 AM   #27
hollyday27's Avatar
hollyday27
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Central IL
Posts: 7,034
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

I understand what you are going trough. DS weaned (his choice) when I was in the middle of my pregnancy he was about 15mos. He sill likes to put his hand down my shirt occasionally and I think that's ok. It's a comfort thing for him, but I don't share it with others just because I know non-nursing folk just wouldn't understand and think it's weird. He is very interested in how I feed his brother, and soemtimes tries to nurse but has forgotten. Even though your DC might not seem to have the dialog I would still explain why you don't want him to do it. You might be surprised. In stead of physically blocking him try to talk it out... you never know it might work. HTH and GL!
__________________
Creator of Milk Pendants. ☮
myWares . myBlog . myEtsy . myPBfsot
mama . obv wipes/wetbags . photography . sizzix . misc
~always ISO Amazon & iTunes GCs~
hollyday27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2008, 02:39 PM   #28
Priscella's Avatar
Priscella
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 322
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

These ladies have given you some great advice. Let him help you nurse your LO. Instead of just telling him to get away while your nursing your LO, tell him to come sit with yous, and explain to him, how the baby needs mommies milk, because thats all he can it. Tell him, isn't the lucky that he can eat big kid food, mention his favorite foods, and maybe give him a special little treat (healthy), that he can eat while you nurse your LO.

Those are just some things I did. My DS! wanted to nurse every time I nursed my baby, and that just wasn't going to work for us, so I just tried to get him to feel real special that he was the big kid now, and telling him all the things he could eat that the baby couldn't. And like I said above, got him to be included in the feeding without actually nursing him. Hope this helps some.
__________________
BF, Cosleeping, CD, kinda mama!Loving my baby boy Shane 10/04!
Devon Born 3/18/07 :
Engaged to my love, Brian!
Doula and CBE In Training (CBI)
Priscella is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2008, 08:12 PM   #29
lulusmom's Avatar
lulusmom
Keepin' it Crunchy!
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 2,989
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from molesting me

Quote:
Originally Posted by calideedle View Post
Then I would DEFINATLY change your question to "bother"

molestation n. the crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18, including touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia, taking of ****ographic pictures, rape, inducement of sexual acts with the molester or with other children, and variations of these acts by pedophiles. Molestation also applies to incest by a relative with a minor family member, and any unwanted sexual acts with adults short of rape.
Well, yes, but the op was using it in more of a classical sense of the word. it's from the latin molestare, to annoy or pester.
__________________

Helen-Natural birthing, extended bf'ing, cosleeping, non-vaxxin' mama to Holly Lu 8/18/07
lulusmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-31-2008, 09:25 AM   #30
negrapy's Avatar
negrapy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pacific Northwest Desert
Posts: 19,048
My Mood:
Re: how do i stop my weaned toddler from touching me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Griffinsmom View Post
I'm kind of horrified at how people have jumped on the OP.Poor choice of wordcs perhaps, but pretty clear what she meant.
I am all in favor of extended breastfeeding but also feel very uncomfortable with my lo playing with my boobs. I have managed it by wearing nursing bras so even when one boob is out, the other is tucked away and covered.
I don't think it's ALWAYS about comfort and closeness with toddlers. Sometimes it's plain old cduriosity, sometimes they experiment with ways to get attention or a rise out of mama esp when there's a new baby getting lots of attention.
I would deal with this the way I would deal with any other unwanted behavior: make sure it has no pay off and it will disappear. Try to avoid it happening and redirect him without making a big deal about it. Try to minimize his need to get negative attention. Make sure he's getting some special one on one time with you with hugs and cuddles. Make sure he knows he's still special even though there's a new baby taking up your time. Make sure you are heavily rewarding good behavior and giving him attention for it.


plus she wrote that she extended bfed and that's not what made her uncomfortable

i think you have the rights to limits as a person and that you do need to establish them with him - whether or not his reasons and motivations are malicious or not is not the point - but that it makes you so uncomfortable - just b/c nursing is not sexual does not mean that breast are not at all sexual and most people from childern on have been taught that they are more personal than say a hand or arm - and it doesnt sound like he's even being gentle - so if he were hitting you i'd say the same thing - LIMITS / BOUNDARIES

my point being - you need to set them for both your sakes b/c its making you feel resentful against him - can your dh help at all? And its within your rights as a human being to be able to set limits around what touch and by whom is appropriate towards your body

being a mom doesnt make you unhuman anymore - even if we do give up many liberties by CHOICE



btw my toddler is interested in them sometimes too but i just tell him - no, no, mama's - he understands possesion pretty well at 29 months and he doesnt want his little brother drinking from his cup so i can assure him that his little brother doesnt want him drinking from his either
__________________

Last edited by negrapy; 03-31-2008 at 09:26 AM.
negrapy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.