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Old 09-06-2006, 01:05 PM   #41
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

honestly, my adivice is take what you need out of the program, and leave the rest of the stuff go....
If you like having her come and tell you about development, or enjoy the activities and crafts you do, etc, or the group activities, stay in the program, and just ignore anything she says that annoys you. Some parents really like and want outside advice/encouragement as they parent...others (like me, LOL), absolutely hate to be told what to do and prefer to do their own research about stuff...
Or, you can obviously quit altogether.

What she is going to do is teach you about development from a standard curriculum. Which means, they are going to be discussing "average" development....BUT, simply because a child does not do something that is "average" doesn't mean they are delayed or behind, etc. Yes, an "average" 6 month old is sitting without help, babbling mama/dada, etc.....but that doesn't mean your child "should" be doing these things, or that you "should" be doing any special activities/exercises, etc with him. What you "should" be doing is loving your child. That's all.

Your parenting style and level of interaction is your own decision...(i mean, as long as your not abusing or totally neglecting your child, which obviously, you are not, LOL!) Not pushing your child to develop certain skills by certain ages is totally FINE.

Who cares if your kid isn't sitting yet?
And crawling is NOT a milestone....and officially, the "normal" range for walking is 9-16 months, with the 50 percentile mark being right at about 12-13 months....


When it comes to development, a RANGE should always be given, not an exact date...like, sitting up generally occurs from 5 to 6.5 months.
I would be very suspect of any dev info that gave an absolute time period, unless they were talking about a "cutoff" date.
Wheat i mean by "cutoff" date, is the date by which 90-95 % of children do something, and when it *might* be time to look into a potential problem...for example,walking is from 9-16 months, with the "cutoff" date being about 16.5 months......which means that if your child isn't walking then, it *could* be an indicator of a problem...or NOT...it just means it might be worth looking into more thoroughly...
there are lots of reasons why kids don't do things, or do them early, or late.....some kids, like my own dd, focus on one set of skills and develop those early, and others later (in my case, dd developed gross motor EARLY..sitting at 4.5 months, walking at 9.5 months, etc but was in the middle/late edge in language development.....)
For her, that was completely fine and normal.

I DO believe that it is helpeful for parents to know GENERAL guidelines for development, and warning signs...simply because a lot of issues can be treated better, or more completely, if caught sooner....
but there is NO NEED to obsess over a child's development. Unless you are in a situation where you are seriously concerned your child might have a health problem or disability, take it all with a grain of salt.

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Old 09-06-2006, 01:24 PM   #42
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

oh I HATE ppl telling me how to raise my kids too lol and I don't obsess over milestones either, I just joined because a friend told me it was fun, but it's the way she spoke that upset me, she made it seem like there was a problem which clearly not, so I will either quit OR as mentioned, take the good toss and the bad
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Old 09-06-2006, 01:34 PM   #43
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

My son is 8 months and is not scooting anywhere. He doesn't say mamamama or dadadadada and he just started saying babababa. My doc said he's developing fine, he would rather learn to walk than to crawl, he gets up on his knees and rocks and then leaps forward, but that's it. He just started rolling from back to tummy last week. I KNOW he's fine and I wouldn't worry about your son either. My friend has a 6 month old who isn't doing any of the stuff you listed. I really think people need to clam down on having their kids develop so fast, I used to be worried about it but am now just glad I don't have to chase him everywhere yet. I'm enjoying him being a baby. I'll say again what we say about our son.

We have the smartest babies ever because they are taking their time in growing up and enjoying being a baby. They are in no rush to do the things they will have to do for the rest of their lives. They are just being "babied" while they can.
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Old 09-06-2006, 01:38 PM   #44
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

that is a very good way to put it I wish they could stay like this forever lol
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Old 09-07-2006, 09:26 PM   #45
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

Quote:
Originally Posted by urchin_grey
...That's way too young to be expected to say ANYTHING. That lady has some HIGH expectations...
I completely agree. If your ped. is not worried, than I say tell this lady to stuff it.
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Old 09-07-2006, 09:52 PM   #46
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

Don't feel bad all babies learn at different rates. My dd(will be 1 yr at the end of this month) has always been a month behind with things but she has proven to be smart and able to learn things when SHE wants to so we haven't been worried.
As long as your child progresses i don't think that there is a problem.
At a family reunion a month ago my relative actually suggested that i hold dd's hips up while she crawls so that she would not army crawl anymore.
I've heard of people that exercise their kids to reach milestones perfectly and do the flash cards and all but i just don't get it.
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Old 09-07-2006, 10:45 PM   #47
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

she just said it helped build their muscles so I dunno, I am doing some with him a lil but certainly not all she showed me
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Old 09-08-2006, 12:02 AM   #48
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

I agree with everyone else. There is absolutely no need to worry.

DD#1 well, she got excessive amounts of attention... and she was a very early talker, but

DD#2 didn't talk (mama, dada, baba) until about 12 months. She was more interested in being able to physically keep up with her sister who is 14 months older.

My neices and nephews and friends kids have all reached the milestones at different times. My nephew didn't walk until 15 months because his older sisters did everything for him (he is the only boy and the baby of the family)

Just keep being the great mom we know that you are!!!
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Old 09-08-2006, 05:59 AM   #49
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

thanks sweetie
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Old 09-08-2006, 06:52 AM   #50
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Re: Feeling less than adequate (as a Mom) Re: P.A.T

Quote:
Originally Posted by GavinsMommy
see that's what I said, I asked her, what about sitting up & crawling, should he be starting that or is it more a "per child" thing, she said well it's SORT of that...

Gavin is almost six months old

oh and incase anyone else is wondering what PAT is it's parents as teachers http://www.parentsasteachers.org/sit...MZJxE&b=272091
I didn't read all the way through the posts but I wanted to say my oldest DD was doing EVERYTHING early! I mean she was walking at 8.5 mos and had it mastered by 9.5 mos. My DD #2...well she is 7 months and just started rolling over this week. She's a lazy baby that is just content to be where she is, KWIM? My first was SO impatient (still is) was VERY nosey and was CONSTANTLY on the go. DD #2 well she lays in one spot rolls to get a toy and stays in that spot awhile. I asked her pedi if I should be concerned and he said that she is in the "normal" range and that every child is different and that when she is ready she will advance to the next stage. I might add that she was also 5 weeks premature. Some say it doesn't make that much of a difference but it really does! She has great fine motor skills though. She can pick a thread up off of the floor, she twiddles my hair when she nurses, she can pick up her sippy cup bring it to her mouth and drink by herself, but she can't sit up, say mama dada or anything other than blowing raspberry spit bubbles. She can't crawl has no desire to do so and I say she probably won't for a month or two. She is content with being a baby for as long as she wants to and that is fine by me and I am NOT stressing a/b it b/c she is her own unique individual and I don't put my children into categories by when they reach the "milestones". KWIM? It sounds to me like these people have UNREALISTIC expectations for babies that aren't ready to do things they don't want to do!!! Don't worry yourself over this and you sound like a WONDERFUL mama!!! He will do those things when he is good and ready to! My mom said she thought that I was never going to roll over! I waited till I was 5 months then rolled, sat up, crawled and pulled up all in the same month. GL, and I say dookie on them!!!
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