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Old 04-04-2008, 07:39 PM   #1
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I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

We went out to dinner since our 2yo is at grandparents and this time 3mo woke up hungry about the time the salads arrived. This is the first time he woke up at a restaurant and I had to EP with DC#1, so no similar experiences with her. I had brought along a blanket and picked the side of the booth facing the wall, so not so many people could see. DH still expected me to go to the car or bathroom, I was so pissed. He said he would be embarrassed. I should've fed him at the table anyway, but didn't want to fight there, rather save it for home right? Great. Another weekend w/o our toddler ruined by DH being a jerk. I refuse to sit on the toilet to nurse, so ended up sitting on one of those metal canister trashcans with the foot pedal that opens the lid. More comfortable than the toilet becuase I could lean back against the wall, but no less humiliating. I'm telling him either we aren't going to any more restaurants for 9 months or more, or he can either hold a blanket for me while baby is latching/unlatching or he can leave the table. Any other suggestions or anyone else need to vent about this?

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Old 04-04-2008, 07:52 PM   #2
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Re: I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

Ask him how he would like to eat his meal on the toilet!
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Old 04-04-2008, 08:01 PM   #3
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Re: I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

My DH isn't crazy about NIP either. Sometimes I just did it before he realized what I was doing, other times I went to the car. As baby get older I actually like nursing in the car because there were less distractions for a nosey baby. Sorry you had a bad night, I wouldn't nurse in the bathroom, that just seems wrong.
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Old 04-04-2008, 08:10 PM   #4
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Re: I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

WOW I am so sry I think I would have been yelling and screaming at dh. He was even shocked when I read this to him. I wouldve just done it and had he said anything said "feel free to go sit on the toilet while I nurish our infant. It should be about 10-15 min enjoy your not so comfy seat!" Dh has always had to help me keep a lo covered and he totally understands. Once or twice we have been out with friends and the lo managed to get the cover off and dh couldnt get it fast enough so well his best friend was flashed Oh well maybe he shouldve averted his eyes (he now always brings up that he has seen my breasts )

I think you should try to talk to him and let him know how humiliated and degrading that made you feel. Also talk to him about how it isnt embaressing and most ppl dont even notice that you are nursing (I once had a waiter ask me where the baby went I had to inform him the baby was eating. he was embaressed for asking ) I hope your talk with your dh goes well
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Old 04-04-2008, 08:12 PM   #5
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Re: I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jillybean View Post
My DH isn't crazy about NIP either. Sometimes I just did it before he realized what I was doing, other times I went to the car. As baby get older I actually like nursing in the car because there were less distractions for a nosey baby. Sorry you had a bad night, I wouldn't nurse in the bathroom, that just seems wrong.
me too
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Old 04-04-2008, 08:27 PM   #6
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Re: I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

My Dh would never have it either....I just make sure and feed him before we go somewhere and when he starts getting fussy I say- we are going NOW.
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Old 04-04-2008, 08:48 PM   #7
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Re: I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

There's no way in heck I'd ever let my dh have a say, when he can produce milk and feed the bub, then he can decide where to do it. DH was a little put off by NIP in the beginning, but 7 months later and he fully supports it and has turned into a total NIP advocate.
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Old 04-04-2008, 08:51 PM   #8
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Re: I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

my DH wasnt what i expected him to be when NIP came into play.

at first he would " panic" not knowing how to help me.. and i wasnt 100% comfortable with nursing yet much less NIP.. so he would help best he could but once Gage and I became pros and i would nurse while he was in a sling walking/shopping though walmart he would kinda freak.. just like OMG how did you do that and I didnt even see? and once Gage hit about 7m ( and could take a sippy cup with BM in it) i would try to avoid NIP.while doing something else like shopping cause he didnt want to be discreet he wanted to look around and was so easily distracted and that means.. boob shots for anyone looking , cause even if they werent paying attention they would look as soon as gage started screaming cause I was trying to cover him up or keep him interested. lol


good luck, not sure what to say though, i agree with would he want to eat in bathroom? or think about all the germs etc.. or just do it anyway.. i mean honestly if he thinks about it. him "throwing a fit" about you NIP would be more obvious that actually NIP.. my Dh realized that and i think thats why he was ok with it..
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Old 04-04-2008, 09:00 PM   #9
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Re: I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

No advice just mama. Ny DH wasn't super pumped about NIP but he didn't have a choice. No milk no say around here.
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Old 04-04-2008, 09:04 PM   #10
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Re: I shoulda known - DH is NIP-phobic

i would never in a zillion years let my husband have a say in something like that.

i'm going to go thank my husband right now for being 100% supportive of nursing. i think you need to sit down and have a long talk with your husband. you shouldn't have to deal with two babies while you're at dinner.
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