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Old 04-15-2008, 10:25 AM   #1
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Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

I have had an absolutely horrible time with breastfeeding since day one. I pictured it all coming naturally being such a beautiful thing but it just didn't happen that way for me I had DD via c-section and was in so much pain but I knew I had to stick with it because of all of the benefits and I thought that things would get better.

DD will not latch on, still. When I finally get her to she will start gagging, does anyone know why this is? So I started to pump and give it to her that way.. well, lets say ONE ounce is a lot for me to make and I pump each for 15-30 minutes, ever two to three hours

So I started to try and get her to latch again and it wasn't working still.. she gets so mad because she is not getting enough milk and just starts screaming and crying. I even tried giving her 2 ounces of a bottle before so she wasn't so hungry and that did nothing but make her more upset. When she starts crying, I get upset..

I am seriously starting to wonder if there is something wrong with me and maybe I am the reason they made formula.. I guess for some people BF just doesn't work

Any suggestions? I really don't want to give this up but I feel like I have tried EVERYTHING here. She has been getting more formula than breast milk than day one because of this. I have always had to feed her a bottle after because she is still hungry.

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Old 04-15-2008, 10:38 AM   #2
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Re: Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

I think the biggest mistake is introducing formula or a bottle to begin with. Lots of babies have problems with latching on, they need to be taught the proper way too, and if you introduce a bottle it messes even more with their latch because it causes nipple confusion. I think your best bet right now would be to work with a lactation consultant on trying to get a proper latch, and if you're serious about nursing, maybe get rid of the bottle entirely, invest in an SNS system that'll help make sure your dc gets milk but in a way that will also help them learn to nurse.

And the gagging might be because you have a lot of let down, some mamas have really forceful let down so as soon as milk comes out, it causes gagging. As soon as you feel the let down happen, maybe unhook bub, let down into a towel for a few seconds so that initial burst doesn't upset your dc, then relatch and continue feeding.

Nurse all the time, even if she's not hungry, offer it, because the more used to it she gets the more comforting it will be to her and the better she'll learn, plus it'll help keep up your supply. The best thing to do would be give a little formula so she's not starving, and then switch to the breast, if you put a kiddo who is starved at the breast they can get frustrated which would lead to screaming and giving up, but if she's not super hungry when she goes at it, it'll be easier on both of you.

And keep trying, it does get easier! I've had horrid latch problems, thrush to the point of screaming while nursing, honestly it was hard hard hard, but now 7 months into it, it's one of the most peaceful and easiest things I've ever done, and I'm so happy I stuck with it during the super hard moments.
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Old 04-15-2008, 10:41 AM   #3
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Re: Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

Oh and as for the pumping, have you tried sizing up or down on the breast shell? I have a medela pump in style, and when I first starting I was so discouraged that I wasn't getting like anything, so I switched from the 24mm breast shell to a 27mm, and it made all the difference in the world. I went from getting 1 ounce to getting 6 in 15 minutes. Also things to keep up your supply during this time, oatmeal, more milk plus, fenugreek, blessed thistle, and water water water, the worst thing that can happen is teaching dc to latch properly but having your supply drop so low from the struggle that it's hard to nurse anyways.
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Old 04-15-2008, 10:46 AM   #4
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Re: Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

First of all, it is hard. it doesn't often come easy as a thing of beauty, especially for a first time nurser. BUt stay strong and chances are it'll work out and in a few weeks or so you'll look back and feel good about things.

Second of all, formula is not the devil. if you give it your all and just can't manage, don't feel bad. You tried and it didn't work out for you. Your baby can still thrive and be healthy and happy and attached if she's formula fed.

I'd stop giving bottles, put her to the breast at every opportunity. You will never empty your breast with a pump they way your baby can do it, so what you pump is not a good indicator of how much milk you make. Wet and dirty diapers and a growing baby are your best indicators.

If latch is the issue work on that.
Put her the the breat and if she isn't ltached, pop here off and try again, keep going, if she cries, then great! means she has a great big open mouth your can shove your breast in.

If you have access to a lactation consultant, I would suggest you meet with her before you give up. The sooner the better.

here are some links about latching

look under "rightstart techniques" here

http://http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020100.asp
http://www.breastfeeding.com/helpme/...s_latchon.html
http://parenting.ivillage.com/newbor...,,3x1p,00.html
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Old 04-15-2008, 10:47 AM   #5
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Re: Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

also, young babies love to suck and will often suck down formula after being nursed even if they don't need it. will she be content to suck a pacifier or your finger?
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Old 04-15-2008, 11:03 AM   #6
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Re: Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

I agree iwth the posts on offering the breast more. If she really isn't latching at all, give the breast and have her suckle as much as she's able. If you give a bottle, give a nipple that is similar to the breast - some are too easy and so the baby could get more discouraged by the breast then.

Try checking out your local LLL league and www.kellymom.com There are a lot of resources out there. Don't get discouraged... You can do it

Oh and the breast sheild thing - I agree 100 percent. I assumed that since I am large breasted I'd need something larger, but I do better with the 24s, even though I'm a 38/40 DD.

PM me if you need anything. I'm bf my little one now and don't mind chatting to help you through!
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Old 04-15-2008, 11:09 AM   #7
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Re: Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by eden/averymumm View Post
also, young babies love to suck and will often suck down formula after being nursed even if they don't need it. will she be content to suck a pacifier or your finger?
I found this to be true of my ds. In the hospital I ended up cup feeding him because I was sure he was hungry. Luckily a wonderful lactation consultant pointed this out to me and the pacifier worked. I was also lucky, because he came out with a great latch and suck. I'd be afraid a pacifier would make your latch problems worse.

I know how hard this can be, mama. My first dd had a terrible delivery, vacuum extraction and I ended up with a 4th degree tear. We tried and tried and finally at week 5 ended up bottle feeding her formula. Looking back, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. She was happier, I was happier, which in turn made me a better mother. Honestly, I enjoy breastfeeding and have been able to bf my dd2 and now my ds, but I feel no less bonded to my oldest than I do my other two. I'm not trying to steer you any particular way, I just hate how we as mothers kick ourselves for every little thing. Breastfeeding is wonderful, but bottle feeding your baby formula does not make you a bad mother either and it can be equally as fun and bonding.
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Old 04-15-2008, 11:14 AM   #8
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Re: Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

You've got great advice here already which I won't add to.

I just want to say that I experienced something similar, I had my daughter via c-section, was in a lot of pain and couldn't get the nursing to work from the start.

I couldn't get her to latch on without a nipple shield (I had such a love/hate relationship with that nipple shield - loved it because it was the only way I could nurse, and hated it because it was inconvenient, difficult et cetera) and after a month of trying I had to give her formula because she didn't get enough from me with that nipple shield. (She got about 50/50 milk/formula.)

I tried to get her to latch on without the shield every time I nursed but to no avail...until suddenly, after more than five months, she finally latched on without it. I was so happy I cried.

She's almost seven months old now and latches on just fine without the shield (however now we have distraction issues instead...but we keep on trying).

Just keep on trying, she'll get it eventually.
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Old 04-15-2008, 11:15 AM   #9
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Re: Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

Thank you all I will definitely try everything suggested, I don't want to give up

I was thinking about just taking the bottle away completely, I know that is where I messed up in the beginning though.. Giving her the bottle lowered my supply and made her more confused. Then I would feel like I was starving the poor thing.. I am going to try to feed her a little bottle, nurse her, then feed more as I have been.. Maybe pumping in between to try increasing my supply. I will make some oatmeal and drink some water right now!

Hopefully, it will work!! If not, I know I gave it my all. Thanks ladies!
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Old 04-15-2008, 11:18 AM   #10
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Re: Breastfeeding-- Need Support Mommas :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by naivete View Post
Oh and as for the pumping, have you tried sizing up or down on the breast shell? I have a medela pump in style, and when I first starting I was so discouraged that I wasn't getting like anything, so I switched from the 24mm breast shell to a 27mm, and it made all the difference in the world. I went from getting 1 ounce to getting 6 in 15 minutes.
I'm not the op, but thank you so much for this advice! I have never been able to get more than about one ounce while pumping, and this might be why! I will try sizing up. Thank you.
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