I'm desperate for night time help!

[9800Emily]

DD is high needs and well bedtime/ naps are our main issues that we are trying to work on. Naps are pretty much none existent or an only with a boob in dd's mouth occasion. When dd was about 4 months she started throwing a fit before bed time. This fit is thrown in dh or my arms normally. Fit = screaming like we were cutting off her fingers, scratching, hitting, biting, poking herself in the eye, pulling on her ears, rubbing her feet together so hard that she has a callus. She has wounds from these fits every night. At first this would go on for about 30 mins, now she is up to 2 or more hours. DH and I have to take turns to keep our sanity. We are at our wits end trying to help her. I feel so bed for her as it must be horrible to be so tired and not want to go to sleep. There is nothing medically wrong with her.
Here is what we have tried, please if you have a suggestion LMK.
We try to comfort her while holding her by rubbing her back, singing, patting her back, walking around etc. Nothing works.
Wearing her, she use to love the wrap but now she screams if she even sees it.
Vibrating bouncy chair
Swing
Pushing her in the stroller
Earlier Bedtime
Later Bedtime
Routine of bath, nursing laying with mom. She started screaming when it was time to take her bath once she figured out the routine.
Nursing to sleep
Rocking
CoSleeping
Putting her in her crib (not sure what a crib is for yet, but everyone said I needed one )
Schedule, this was miserable, but we tried for 5 days with no improvement
CIO, She will make herself sick before she is any where close to falling asleep.

I never intended to try the last two, as they just do not fit with mine and DHs parenting style, but as I said we are desperate. At this point we'll try just about anything.

[Sarah]

Are you sure she doesn't have reflux? Babies don't have to spit up to have it and for the longest time(or it felt like forever Taci was doing something very similar becaue it hurt her to lay down.

And you've tried putting her down awake but drowsy? I know Taci prefers to go to sleep that way now that she's getting a little older

[9800Emily]

Maybe I should talk to her doc about the reflux. She has always screamed when she is layed down. I just thought that babies had to spit up to have it.

Yeah, we've tried to lay her down on her own when she first starts to get tired. We've also tried rocking her until she is sleepy, but not asleep and putting her in bed. Neither have ever worked. It's hard, because once she sees her bed (cosleeper by our bed) or we start trying to help her go to sleep is when the fit starts.

[AttachedMama]

I'm sorry mama! Clara is about a month older than your D and we're going through the same thing. I have to keep a super close eye on her toenails because she does the same thing w/ her feet, only it's her ankles that she's actually made bleed before. Just like your DD, she's fine until we walk towards our bedroom and then she gets so upset.

[fostermomcchr]

[QUOTE=9800Emily]Maybe I should talk to her doc about the reflux. She has always screamed when she is layed down. I just thought that babies had to spit up to have it.

Silent reflux is really hard to get a diagnosis for, our little one has it, they switched him to soy and he is much better. He was miserable any time he was layed flat, I even raised the head of his changing table. I spent many nights in the recliner with him on my shoulder moaning/wimpering in pain because he would only scream if I wasn't holding him. When we cosleep he is resting on my arm or chest so his head is higher than his tummy. Good luck, it is not an easy thing to deal with. If you BF, try eleminating milk to see if that helps any.

[a_cthelen]

I am so sorry that she is so upset. Carter has begun to fight sleep at night, as well, but not to the severity that your daughter is. Checking into the reflux issue sounds like a good idea. I don't have any other ideas, as it sounds like you have done them all. I just wanted to extend my sympathy and well-wishes to finding a solution that works for your family!

[sunshinebabies3]

if it is silent reflux, you may want to try mylicon drops before and after feeding. Also--you can give mylanta, adult regular mylanta. I recommend cherry flavor. Our doc recommened we not give more than 3 mls in a day when ours were 3 mos old. They are 2 months premature, so 1 month adjusted at that time. You should be safe with that amount. I know some people balk at giving mylanta--aluminum content, but when your baby hurts as bad as ours did, and nothing else would 'put out the fire', mylanta was a lifesaver. for months 3 and 4 my kids got it almost everyday. gas drops/mylicon also has simethicone in it and while it helps with gas pain, it also cools the burn somehwat for nonregurgitive reflux. mylanta is still way better. Also--keep her upright for 20 mins after each feeding. try nursing her in a more upright position or possibly pumping and giving ebm.

also--do you have a side to side cradle swing or jsut a forward swing? if you dont own a cradle swing, buy one. it will be the best $100 you ahve ever spent. jsut keep the box and receipt and try it for a week. if she doesnt love it, take it back. we had 3 for our trio and they were life savers.

good luck!

[9800Emily]

Well, tonight we tried holding her upright and rocking her and it was no different. I'm still going to talk to the doc about reflux, but don't think that is it. I think she just hates going to sleep.

[Desiree_Leigh]

Have you tried swaddling? I know she's getting a bit old for it, but it could, at the very least, keep her from hurting herself? I would suggest swaddling her BEFORE she gets upset, though... also, have you tried going for a car ride? I understand you tried keeping her upright and it didn't work, but if the pain was already there then it could have been too late - I'd ask my Dr about the reflux idea anyway. HTH, sorry mama, I wish I could do more!

- Desiree

[9800Emily]

We do have a cradle swing, but she is so long that she is really to big for the swing now. She can also twist out of the swing even with the safety belt, so it isn't really an option anymore.

Swaddling, I may try this again. We did it when she was a newborn, and then she got use to sleeping in the wrap, which seem like it would be similar.

Last night she let me wear her when she was first getting tired, and fell asleep with no crying, even though it took over an hour . Wow, an 8 month old in a stretchy wrap is heavy, I may need to get a better one if this works.