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Old 04-20-2008, 11:05 PM   #1
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Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

My DD is 6 months old and I only BF'd for about 2 weeks. One of the biggest things I regret is stopping. So my next I will be attempting again. My friend at work was talking about how she was at the mall at the play area and there was a lady nursing her DD with a cover over the baby. I asked how old she thought the baby was and she said about 9 months old. My best friend then spoke up and said how that was completely out of line and she should have taken the baby to the bathroom to nurse her So I then said "do we ask you to eat your meal in the bathroom" she said that is different, someone is exposing themselves in public. I said "She had a cover over her!" she said she didn't care, it was not appropriate

At this point I was getting mad. I told her that the reason for breasts were to feed our children and it was us that made them into something sexual. She said it didn't matter because that is what they are now. I told her that I would rather her be uncomfortable with it than to let the baby be hungry. She then says "yeah, just because you were ok with exposing yourself to everyone doesn't mean it is right"

I had to stop the conversation with that because I was getting really mad.

So I really think if I am able to BF my next child I will loose this person as my friend because of this. And she is my BEST friend and really she is my ONLY friend

Has anyone lost a friend because of this??

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Old 04-20-2008, 11:24 PM   #2
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Re: Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

Not that particular issue, but I have a very close friend that has very opposite views to me on a couple of topics that hit close to home. After a couple of blow outs, we are now both just VERY careful to not talk about them.
Sometimes really great friends have one aspect to them that is really really hard to take, but if they are otherwise a great person and good friend, it's probably not worth losing a friendship over. Hopefully she can ackowledge that making comments like that really offend you and tha NIP is something you believe in and can keep her opinion to herself.
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Old 04-20-2008, 11:44 PM   #3
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Re: Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

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Originally Posted by monicajoy1979 View Post
So I really think if I am able to BF my next child I will loose this person as my friend because of this. And she is my BEST friend and really she is my ONLY friend
And as such, hopefully she will come around, and see that you both don't have to agree with the other's opinions, but that you can have a mutual respect for one another...sort of "agree to disagree". I'm sorry your friend can't be more supportive in this area. Hopefully your BFing relationship is successful next time around...good luck mama!
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Old 04-20-2008, 11:51 PM   #4
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Re: Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

Yup. I have. It was a girl I considered to be my best friend. I knew she would choose differently that I did when it came to breastfeeding, but assumed since our friendship was strong, that we could work it out. I don't think I ever mentioned anything to her about breastfeeding, unless SHE asked me a question. She chose not to nurse her baby past about two weeks. Fine. Not my child. I never said a word about it. But over the next few weeks or so, I found that she got really uncomfortable around me and Preston. Then one day she just stopped coming around or answering my calls. I hear through the grapevine it is because she thinks I am somehow judgmental of her and her choices. She got mega uncomfortable when I would breastfeed Preston after she stopped nursing her baby. Oh well, if that is all it takes to end the friendship, perhaps we weren't as close as I thought to begin with...

sucks though, cause i really liked her, and i don't make friends too easily IRL.
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Old 04-21-2008, 02:01 AM   #5
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Re: Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

I have a friend who is like that..and we didn't hang out for a couple of months and then she just came around. She must not have any kids.
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Old 04-21-2008, 09:07 AM   #6
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Re: Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

No... thankfully my friends (well mommy friends) all feel the same way about BF. I attempted for 6 months and it was a rough 6 months. (We had problems from day one since she was a preemie, among other issues) I regret quitting too.
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Old 04-21-2008, 09:11 AM   #7
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Re: Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

She doesn't sound very nice.

I have lost friends before, but mostly my friends all have the same views as I do. BFing is best and they all know this.
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Old 04-21-2008, 09:14 AM   #8
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Re: Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

Almost but not really BECAUSE of nursing. A friend of mine had twins that were very premature (about 10 weeks, I think?) and I heard through a mutual friend that she hadn't been calling me because she thought *I* would be disappointed that she didn't nurse them!!

Seriously, she had twins, a 1yo (11mos when the twins were born), AND a 3yo!! I'd have probably bottle-fed too!
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Old 04-21-2008, 09:40 AM   #9
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Re: Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

Sort of, but not exactly that way. I would avoid discussing breastfeeding with her. Once you have the baby, see how things go with nursing around her. If she is uncomfortable or makes comments or asks you not to nurse around her, then I would end the friendship.
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Old 04-21-2008, 09:45 AM   #10
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Re: Have you ever lost a friend because of BFing?

No. My friends were always supportive of me bfding even though they didn't nurse as near as long as I did.
There is no reason for her to have been so rude to you. You are afterall her friend. Just b/c she doesn't agree on something does not give her the right to be so rude to you. It's one issue that you two could just "agree to disagree" on, kwim?
If it's a true friendship then it should not be lost over something like this. JMO.
Heck my friends congratulated me for nursing for as long as I did. My youngest two were 13 months (weaned self b/c I was preggo,LOL) and 2 yrs 2 months 2 weeks (weaned self~~who knows why, sad...)
GL the next time around. Shoot I'm in OH if you ever need a friend,
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