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Old 04-21-2008, 03:22 PM   #1
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I just want to scream!!! UPDATE AT BOTTOM!

I am so sick of people (IRL not on here)!! I posted before about wanting things back to normal but this is beyond that...this is wayyy over the top...

1. My daughter is an absolute monster today because she wouldn't take a nap or let here little sister take a nap either. I can deal with her crankiness but on top of the other stuff it is just way too much!

2. My home health aides are driving me up a wall. I appreciate the help...when they actually help!! The lady that comes most often (3 days per week and then I have random helpers the other 2 days) has decided that since she is neighbors with my aunt and uncle-in-law (is that a word? ) that she doesn't have to work. She is here for 3 hours and gets the dishes washed and that is about it. Sometimes she may vaccuum too but otherwise she sits on my couch, plays with my kids (which is nice to an extent), and eats my food! And now she wants to pick up more days here too...I am sure she likes coming here because she doesn't have to work! It is sooooo frustrating because if my house isn't going to get cleaned I would prefer to be alone during the day most days.

3. The lady from my church that comes in every day is driving me even more nuts than everyone else. She is really nice but overwhelming and at 64 she really doesn't understand my family at all. She doesn't understand the cloth diapers and always complains that I should use "normal" diapers - even though I change the diapers. She has started to try to take over disciplining my children which is driving me batty and confusing my kids. She gets mad at them for things that I don't (ex: accidentally spilling cereal on the floor isn't a big deal to me since they are 2 and 1 but she makes it a huge deal and gets upset with them). She yells more than I do at my kids and doesn't understand the gentle discipline. And then when my very spirited 2 YO does things she shouldn't she tells me that I need to be more strict with my children because "spoiled children turn out to be bad people." I just want to be alone and be able to raise my kids how I feel is right - my kids were healthy and happy till all this - now they are cranky more than they are happy because they are all confused by Jenny Lee trying to be their mom more than me I just want my happy girls back!!

And to top all that off today my H called and told me that he hit a deer for the 2nd time with our van and it will take over $2000 to fix!!

I just want to scream

UPDATE...ANOTHER VENT

This keeps getting worse and worse and I am beyond irritated now!! The lady from church is driving me absolutely up a wall and she knows it I think but keeps on doing what she is doing. She insists that my kids need more discipline so takes it on herself to do it. I have said many times that I can discipline my children and what they are doing if I don't say anything is just fine. Then she insists on taking my clothes and diapers to her house to wash and she insists that all loads must have bleach in them...so half my clothes are now tie-dyed...I like tie-dye but not on all my clothes kwim? Then she has to dry them on EXTRA HOT so my clothes not only come back tie-dye but they have burn/scorch marks on them...my good cream-colored towels, DDs clothes, etc. - everything is burned!! And my diapers - I don't even wanna get into that...I am so sad about that right now. AND THEN...she has all these ideas about how to make my house more organized and doesn't ask me so everything is in the wrong place and I can't find anything!! Plus she insists on putting all the laundry away even though I said no thank you...so I can't ever find what I am looking for there either! Plus she gives me all these ideas that I don't agree with and if I say that she gets all offended and stomps into the other room. So today I am just fed up with it all - it is MY CHILDREN, MY HOUSE, MY STUFF AND I CAN DO THINGS HOW I WANT!! Ad then today my house ran out of fuel oil so the house is cold (it snowed Saturday here)...so I put an electric heater in the living room and put blankets in the doorway to keep it warm enough in the living room for me and the girls to be warm (I got it up to almost 60 in here and they are dressed in warm clothes too)...so Jenny Lee decides that the KITCHEN needs to be warm for the health aide (who won't even be here till noon - she decided this at about 9:30) so when I went to the bathroom and came back out to find my heater in the kitchen!! So now my living room is getting cold again...I don't get it - shouldn't the little kids be warm rather than adults?? Anyway rant over...thanks to all who read this!

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Last edited by bryvaeh; 04-28-2008 at 10:14 AM.
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Old 04-21-2008, 03:56 PM   #2
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Re: I just want to scream!!!

Wow I think I would "fire" the church aide. Can you get someone else? The lazy one just sounds lazy. Can you make a list of daily chores and ask her to get them done?

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Old 04-21-2008, 04:03 PM   #3
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Re: I just want to scream!!!

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Originally Posted by amyruth View Post
Wow I think I would "fire" the church aide. Can you get someone else? The lazy one just sounds lazy. Can you make a list of daily chores and ask her to get them done?

How do I nicely "fire" my church aide? She has helped out a lot and I do appreciate it but now she is getting too comfortable and thinking she knows how to do things better than me. And the home health aide is just plain lazy...She has a list of things to do every day and she just says "Well I guess I will do it tomorrow" and then the other aides that come in on Monday and Friday end up doing everything I am so frustrated and I know I am channeling that to my kids which is part of why they are so cranky!
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Old 04-21-2008, 04:05 PM   #4
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Re: I just want to scream!!!

Sorry mama!

Hope you get it worked out
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Old 04-21-2008, 04:15 PM   #5
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Re: I just want to scream!!!

I'd just tell her (or have DH be the bad guy) that you have it under control now. That the aides are meeting your needs & that you'd really like to spend the last X months of your pregnancy enjoying your girls alone before you have 2 new babies to take care of.
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Old 04-21-2008, 05:19 PM   #6
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Re: I just want to scream!!!

The home health aid is getting paid to do a job, correct? So if she isn't doing it, complain to her employer. It isn't fair that the other 2 are getting the same pay to do their work and hers too. What is the lady from church supposed to be at your home for? Surely it isn't to make life a living you-know-what for you and your kids. Tell her that you appreciate whatever it is that she does to help out, but to leave the disciplining of your kids to you, or ship out. They don't deserve to be treated this way, and you sure don't need the extra stress.
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Old 04-21-2008, 06:28 PM   #7
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Re: I just want to scream!!!

Oh I would not be timid when it comes to your girls. These are your children- your family and how you choose to diaper and raise them is not up for discussion with anyone but you and your dh. If this hurts her feelings oh well- your family comes before a woman at church.

Sorry- I get lots of advise from my sister and these are things she's told me before that have made a difference for me- I never realized that I could tell people to stuff their unsolicited advise- =D
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Old 04-21-2008, 06:38 PM   #8
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Re: I just want to scream!!!

i think i would take my kids and hole up in my room. i would be out of my mind crazy with all those people in my house. and especially the church lady. nonono. can you lie to her and say your mom or something is coming over for the next week or so? and i agree, communicate with the home health aide's employer about her tendency to sit on her butt all day.

how many weeks are you now? bedrest must be maddening. you will get those babies here safe and big and healthy, and this will all be an annoying memory. but seriously, do what you can now to lessen the annoyance of it. its only going to get worse if you don't take care of some of this stuff now.
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Old 04-21-2008, 06:57 PM   #9
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Re: I just want to scream!!!

I am just going to put it bluntly. If your children are getting confused and you aren't doing anything about it it can cause then to think that you are not the boss anymore and they don't have to listen to you. Please, if anything stand up for your children and tell that woman no.

Now as far as the aid goes, she is getting PAID and this is her JOB. If she is not doing her job she needs to be replaced. If you didn't know her would you put up with this? No! Fire her and get a new one that doesn't have family ties.
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Old 04-21-2008, 07:46 PM   #10
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Re: I just want to scream!!!

Oh I know I need to say something but the problem is that I am too nice about things - I don't want to hurt people's feelings. But I don't want my kids so confused and I want to be respected for how I raise my kids rather than belittled. The stupid part of the health aide thing is that I didn't even know that she was a neighbor to H's aunt and uncle - it doesn't make a bit of difference to me but she seems to think that it gives her a reason to do nothing. The lady from church I don't want to hurt her but I am so frustrated with her being her constantly - she comes in the AM to help me get my kids down the stairs when they wake up and then she takes them up for their nap at 1 and gets them downstairs again when they wake up. That is all she is here to do and then she sits and talks with me...it is nice to talk but I am not always a social person and it drives me nuts when I want quiet! Then since she is bored sitting here she takes to disciplining my kids I just want to say something but do it nicely!

ETA I am 31 weeks today so I am getting closer to being done...Thank God!!
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Family issues - I will not be around except as needed...Please email me if you need me. Crayon testers will all be out by the end of the week

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