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Old 05-07-2006, 11:49 AM   #11
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

((((HUGS))) I think it's wonderful that you want to change your parenting style. My DS is just over 3 and I remember when he was that age and it was so hard because he didn't get it. He wouldn't sit in time out. It was frusterating. I have found that getting down on his level and speaking to him firmly but not yelling can help. I also will take DS to his room for time out. I got tired of fighting over making him sit in a spot because I would get more frusterated and angry so I choose to take him to his room. If I had to I would put the pressure gate across the door and leave him for a few minutes (2-3). I would always go and talk to him about why I sent him to his room and why his behaviour or actions was unacceptable or unsafe.

I still use this method now. I also use the counting to three and we take away priveledges or toys. Rarely do we have to go that far anymore. If DS gets really riled up and nothing seems to work then sending him to his room to calm down really works for us. I also assess the situation to see if he would be tired or hungry.

Sorry for the long rambly post. I just wanted to share what works for us. DS is very active, very stubborn and can be difficult. But he can also be sweet and loving and kind. It all may not work for you but I really wanted to help. I would never flame for your choices your a great mama to recognize that you aren't happy with the way to did something and trying to change it!

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Old 05-07-2006, 12:36 PM   #12
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

Here's a really good article for those of us who were spanked as kids and don't want to use that for our own children.
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Old 05-07-2006, 02:33 PM   #13
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

wehn i was little i use to get it with the belt oh how i hated that!!!
i vowed not to do that to david either. but its hard
i sometimes spank him: he runs out to the parking lot with cars and really scares the begizes outta me or like now he is terrorizing poor dog . trhowing him things LOL gotta go sorry but i wont spank though ill talk to him
yes i have done it and im trying not to either. its hard when you grow into that . ok gotta run now LOL poor dog is barking his eyes out lol
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Old 05-08-2006, 08:24 AM   #14
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

You're right...as much as his behavior gets to me sometimes (i won't say misbehavior, because I believe it's probably completely age-appropriate behavior)...he can be SO sweet...he says thank you, you're welcome, please..all the time...he tells me, "Mommy, i wuv you" all the time...he loves to share (sometimes) with his little brother..which completely shocks me ...and usually when he hurts ds2, he's just trying to play with him...he tries to play with the baby the way dh plays with him..and it just doesn't work....and no matter how many times i complain to dh about the way he plays...or try to reason with him...or try to explain why he shouldn't do that...it doesn't matter, "oh he's fine"

Maybe this post should've been about dh.......
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Old 05-08-2006, 08:36 AM   #15
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

That article made me

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Old 05-08-2006, 10:10 AM   #16
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

I also want to add some of his good behavior that makes me want to melt At 27 months, when he runs into me or steps on my toes or hurts me accidentally, he'll say, "I'm sorry mommy" and give me hugs and kisses
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Old 05-08-2006, 01:09 PM   #17
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

I'm so glad you posted this, b/c I feel the same way.

I was raised in a spanking household and so was my dh. He agrees with it, I don't. Yep, just one of the many things we disagree on.

My ds gets timeouts and seems to know what is going on and responds good to them. My dh just fusses about it. I tell him to just go poop on himself. LOL! I'm totally hanging around a toddler too much.

No way would I EVER flame you (or anyone) on anything. I'm not perfect either.

My MIL and Mother where guiding me through the parenting issues and I just couldn't deal with that. I was told a long time ago, "The best thing about being a parent is you don't have to be YOUR parents." I decided that there was a lot of truth in that. I started CDing, Co-sleeping, NO CIO, and living crunchy. I've been SO MUCH happier, and with the support of my online Mother's Group (Prego Weekly)...and here, I know I can continue.

Okay...didn't mean to type your eyes out. If you ever need to talk more, PM me....

Hugs and sweet tea....
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Old 05-09-2006, 05:12 PM   #18
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

Gosh, Guess I'm the only *meanie* that spanks my kids.
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Old 05-09-2006, 05:28 PM   #19
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

I'm a meanie too don't worry But I started counting 1-2-3 and I can't remember the last time I spanked him. He's been really good lately. He knows his bday is coming
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Old 05-09-2006, 05:34 PM   #20
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Re: I'm ashamed of myself (re: discipline..long)

If I try to count to 3...my dd helps me count
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