totally depresed and giving up

[honeybuns]

The title says it all pretty much. My car broke down early monday the start of my classes ( just a week course for family day care training ) I was going to go home and breastfeed on breaks. Well daddy fed him a bottle while I was away but as soon as I came home I would feed him right away.
I feel selfish I went out on friday after his bedtime and now my breasts are totally jacked up... I tried pumping everything.. my nipple is cracked on the right and like 3 sizes the left. I cant even get anything out of the left am I dried up? I even tried to recruit hubby to help me. I called for support. everyone told me feed him on the left no matter what. So here I sat doing this until today I just couldnt take the screaming he wouldnt even latch only on the right side.. and its swollen with mastitis or something yes i got medicine today and nipple cream but its unbearable he wont even go to the left no matter the position. So I just gave him a bottle after feeling so helpless and trying nonstop to latch him. WELL he was fine after laughing happy completely different baby babbaling away just content and fine... vs red in the face hysterically screaming NONSTOP...
What should I do.. He has a surgery coming up in June and if I get my supply up I feel like it will just be jacked up again for his week long recovery. Maybe im indecisive.. I dont want to let the breastfeeding go but at the same time I want him to be happy and thriving.. he wasnt happy with the boob. Is this my fault should I never have left for this stupid class. whats worse is Im not even sure I will be doing the daycare its a huge deal on base lots of rules.. i cloth diaper too the lady who runs the FCC is a total BI$%#$ OK ladies I know im babbiling just been through fever on the weekend and the baby just not bein happy whatesoever.. im completely and utterly feeling like crap. My first couldnt breastfeed it feels like such an accomplishment and I wanted him to be only bf until 1 year.. im horrible and feel so guilty

[sweety13]

[Calideedle]

I doubt he hates the boob and that you messed your supply up. And he was thriving and will be.

Pumping wont show how much you make. And liquid is easier to get out of a bottle, it doesnt take work. Just keep pumping to stimulate your nipples and keep putting him to your breast.

I would keep nursing and put the bottle away, I have had Mastitus more times than I can keep track of, it sucks but will pass!

[kht2006]

oh mama, I'm so sorry. Do you need to talk to a LLL leader or an LC to get some support or help? I don't know what to say

[mclaybrook]

I know what you're going through.. I had thrush and cracked nipples.. and it was so painful to nurse. Hang in there.. it will get better.

[mamaratliff]

You can do it mama! Mastitis stinks big time, I had it three times with my first dd. But hang in there, keep nursing and it will get better i promise. If you really want to keep bf'ing then put the bottle away like the pp said, because that will really mess things up. Just keep nursing, resting and drinking water. If you can, get in bed with your dc and stay there for 24 hours. Just nurse, rest, cuddle, change diapers, and repeat. The skin to skin contact and constant nursing will do wonders for your supply and mastitis. You need rest! So sorry you're going through a rough time mama. Hugs

[negrapy]

i think the previous posters have some good suggestions
i know its so frustrating to think your lo isnt getting what they need -

[remrath]

If it helps, I do a class 3xs a week and just pump the night before after she goes to bed and my supplies been fine. Don't guilt yourself over taking the class.

[kakemery]

Don't give up mama! If you want to bf, you can. Like PP have said, put the bottle away and give him the breast. You hit a rough patch... it happens. With my ds (my 1st), I spent the first 3 mo. with undiagnosed thrush (left the hospital with it). I would cry at the thought of putting my son on the breast. My nipples bled and ds would scream, it was awful. At first, I didn't do anything, because I was told breastfeeding hurt at first. After 9 weeks, I finally went in. At that point, they gave me nystatin cream, which made it worse. I used that for a week with the pain increasing daily. Finally I ended up in bed with 3 sleeping bags on me, freezing cold and a fever of 104.. I had developed mastitis because I was feeding poorly from the pain. I finally got it taken care of, but it took 12 weeks. I went on to breastfeed my son for 26 mo. He self-weaned when I was pregnant with dd.
Breastfeeding can be TOUGH, but you can get through it.

[~Peach~]

You can do this mama! I had the same issues and I suffered for months before I found relief. Try manually expressing some milk after putting a warm compress on it and massaging your breast gently. If you need anymore help or just a cheerleader pm me! Im more than happy to help as I've went through alot getting started.