View Poll Results: Would you feel offended? please read post.
Yes 23 50.00%
No 13 28.26%
other 10 21.74%
Voters: 46. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 05-12-2008, 02:35 PM   #21
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Re: Would you feel offended?

Originally Posted by BeckyP View Post
when you said to her that your daughter gets overwhelmed in Walmart she was probably just wondering why would bring her somewhere where you know she will get overwhelmed.

when your on the outside looking in the view isn't the same..


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Old 05-12-2008, 02:56 PM   #22
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Re: Would you feel offended?

We deal with Autism here to. The fact is that stores like Wal Mart are a fact of life, you just can't avoid situations like that for the rest of your life. My oldest is higher functioning and will likely be living on his own one day, he needs to learn to just flat out cope and move on. Sounds harsh but it's just the way it is. So no matter how crappy it was to bring my kids out to places like that, we justput our heads down & did it. It took years of hell and embarrassment with my oldest but now he does extremely well in settings like a crazy Wal-Mart.

I don't know if I would have been offended but I would have used a comment like that to explain every detail of "what it's like" to have to deal with a child like mine and how the easy way to do things isn't always the best way. I probably would have gone into how we actually don't have someone to look after him at home while we run errands for many reasons, partly because of money and partly because we don't trust anyone with our sometimes difficult special needs kid... All I can say is that she likely would have been sorry she opened up that can of worms with me
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Old 05-12-2008, 06:02 PM   #23
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Re: Would you feel offended?

I agree with the person who said it was all in the woman's tone. My oldest is on the spectrum and there are times when no matter what I am doing, it isn't going to help and we usually leave where ever we are too (actually linen's and things is his biggest problem -- I think it is the combo of the lights and smells in there).

Only reason I am thinking that she wasn't being rude is because I would say you opened yourself up to the conversation. If someone said to me your kids don't like being here, I would just sigh or ignore it -- I don't feel the need to explain their behavior to anyone for any reason. But once I opened up the topic of Lane being on the spectrum, I would assume I would get a ton of assvice from totally uneducated people.

I also agree that you shouldn't keep her at home and you should do your normal family things, but I wouldn't ever explain a meltdown to a stranger again. What is the point? You know the cause and there is nothing you can do. Being a spectator in it, I would have just felt sorry for you because we have ALL been there -- spectrum disorder or not.
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Old 05-12-2008, 06:07 PM   #24
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Re: Would you feel offended?

I think that I would be if she said it in a rude tone of voice or something if not...I would just take it with a grain of salt or something...
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Old 05-12-2008, 07:12 PM   #25
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Re: Would you feel offended?

Originally Posted by amber918 View Post
My 2.5 yr dd is mildly autistic. Dh & I were in Walmart the other day & she had a meltdown. So, DH took her to the car. A few minutes after they left my 1yr old dd started crying, because she saw the bananas & wanted one. This lady said to me, " your kids really don't want to be in Walmart today." ( I was fine w/ that). I then explained that the baby wanted a banana & that my other dd is autistic & gets overwhelmed in Walmart. Then she said to me, " Well, can't one of you stay home w/ her while the other does the shopping?" This comment really hurt my feelings, because 1)we are a family & want to be together. 2) Do ppl expect me to never let her out of the house? She loves going bye bye. 3) How is she ever supposed to learn to behave in Walmart if I never take her? As if the stares & rude eye rolling aren't enough, I have to deal w/ insensitive comments from ppl too! I'm thinking of getting her a shirt that says," I'm not bad, I'm autistic" then maybe ppl will have some empathy for her, instead of treating her & us like crap.
So, do you all think I'm too sensitive or would you feel offended too?

I voted other because if you said to me "my dd is autistic and she gets overwhelmed at walmart" I would probably say the same thing she did. Being the mom of an autistic kid who also has sensory issues I try not to put him in situations that I know will overwhelm him. It isn't about him learning to behave, he just can't handle it. It is too much. And when some one says "overwhelm" that is what I think of. So last year I absolutely did not take Kearnan to walmart, I don't even like to be in walmart, it is too much for my senses to handle. Now that he has had several years of intensive therapy and biomedical interventions he can go for short trips to places like walmart. But if I know something is going to make him really miserable we don't do it. There isn't any point. It isn't really family time if one of us has to sit in the car trying to calm him down from a meltdown while the other finnishes the shopping. Then both adults are frustrated and he takes the rest of the day to recover so anything else we wanted to do (even if it was something he could typically handle) becomes a huge issue. Better to avoid it till he is at a place where doing the shopping together doesn't send his senses over the edge.
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Old 05-12-2008, 07:26 PM   #26
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Re: Would you feel offended?

I voted no. With your comment (about how DD gets overwhemed) she was probably just suggesting something she thought was helpful. If she gets overwhelmed, then why subject her to that, kwim (in the woman's thinking)?
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