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Old 09-18-2006, 02:51 PM   #21
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

Thanks to all for the support and words of encourgement.

I spoke with SIL regarding the situation (she called me) and while I am happy she called I am a bit upset. One thing she said really made me question her parenting ~ "I'll talk with Jay tonight and let you know how it goes. If he says he did it then he is in big trouble, if he says no then theres not much I can realy do". WTH is that??? I said that I had no reason to belive my 4 year old was lying so regardless of what Jayson says I am believing my daughter. I thought that was a little off for her to say. he is constantly lying so why does she think he'd come forth with this one.


BTW this is not my brothers son, it is his fiances. His bio father is not around and hasn't been for 4 years.

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Old 09-18-2006, 02:59 PM   #22
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

that is very disturbing you should let your brother know about her responce and your mother just so they know not toleave your children with her alone at any time......I am soooooo sorry! your babies are so lucky to have a momma like you!
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Old 09-18-2006, 03:19 PM   #23
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

I think this is also something important for your brother to know before going into a marriage with her. Children are children and they sometimes lie, especially if they feel threatened by the truth. If she refuses to face the possibility of what happened and the seriousness of it then that could be something your brother would have a hard time dealing with once they were married.
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Old 09-18-2006, 03:44 PM   #24
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

By her response, it sounds like the SIL to be doesn't plan to address this issue. She is probably in denial. It would be a hard thing to accept. Who wants to think of their child as a potential molester?

But this is a serious issue and if her and your brother get married, then what about their future children? If she doesn't get her son help, they could be at risk.

Good luck and sorry you have to go through this. You are a brave mama.
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Old 09-18-2006, 04:06 PM   #25
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

Well, I feel sick FOR you. Poor mama.
Glad your brother had the right reaction. Hopefully it's nothing more than your nephew making a wrong decision...twice and he'll grow up to be a healthy, appropriately-behaved boy.
HOWEVER, SIL's reaction makes it hard to believe he'll have the guidance to do so. Maybe your brother will be the role model the boy is lacking?
In a way, I can understand a mother trusting in her son and taking his words for things (just as you take DD's word for it) but w/ a history of lying, there comes a time when you can no longer believer everything that comes out of some kids' mouths...
Just wanted to say, tho, KUDOS to your DD for LYK what happened (finally). I don't know that a whole lot of 4 y/o would think enough to mention something like that. And good for her for telling your nephew he was being inappropriate. You must be doing something good w/ her!
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Old 09-19-2006, 12:37 PM   #26
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

I think you are making the right decision, as hard as it might be. I am concerned that the boy's mother doesn't seem to be concerned about her son's psychological issues. If he was abused, or exposed to inappropriate matter, he needs help. Not only is your dd in possible danger, so are other children he comes into contact with. And that is not to even mention that he's a CHILD and he needs to be saved from a possible future of being an abuser. They need to step in NOW in supportive but strict ways and make sure he's always supervised and that he gets the help he needs. They are both children. They BOTH deserve help. I hope the mom gets it. If not, then I hope your brother knows what he's getting into.
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Old 09-19-2006, 12:57 PM   #27
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

i agree with the others
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Old 09-19-2006, 01:05 PM   #28
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

What a tought situation. I agree with the others.
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Old 09-19-2006, 04:07 PM   #29
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

OH Dawn! I'm SO sorry you are going through this! It is absolutly NOT acceptable and I would NOT let my child around him again. Even if he is just curious it doesn't mean that he can be curious at your DD's expense...no way.

If you've already talked to everyone then it sounds like talking isn't going to work. Its so sad too...but the only thing you can do is protect your DD from being molested. I just found out last week that my friends almost 4 yr old has been being molested by a 13 year old boy for almost a year. It makes me completly completly sick and I am hell bent to protect my children from something like that happening to them.

And you mother didn't find telling you something like that important? WTH is wrong with her?!?!? That is soooo serious and I would be so mad ast my mom for not telling me something like that. I would not let her watch my children again. Protecting Madi and Lilly is far more important that hurting an adults feelings.
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Old 09-19-2006, 04:17 PM   #30
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

You handled it exactly the way I would have. In certain situations, there is no supervision as good as a parent. SInce you are close with them, I would defintely follow up in a month or so to make sure they do have him in counceling and didn't put it off. If he was exposed, then they might be able to get help from DCFS, too.
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