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Old 09-19-2006, 04:25 PM   #31
urchin_grey
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

I'm so sorry you are going through this... I know its very scary. I would really talk to your brother though because it really sounds like to me that they need to find out if anyone is hurting that boy. It probably *is* just curiousity but it *may* not be.

Anyway, the reason I say it may not just be curiosity is because the same thing happened to me when I was the same age as your DD only the boy was also 4. (Ok, what I'm about to say might disturb some people and its really bad... so beware.....) He used to bring me in the bushes and pull his pants down and ask me to do things to him. Well, I was a little smart @$$ so I would always just say "do it yourself" and he's say "please, my Nana does it." (Yeah, I know, messed up...)

****OK, aweful part over***

And at the time, I didn't understand but after I was MUCH older I realized that that kid was probably being abused. And I feel really bad to this day that I didn't tell anybody because I may have could have got him out of that house if anything really was going on, but, ya know... I was only four.

But, all that being said, I just wanted to add that I'm not scarred or anything from any of that... maybe because I was so young and didn't understand at the time. (And he never touched me or anything.) I mean, by all means, protect you daughter... I just thought it might make you feel better to know that she's probably not going to be severely traumatized or anything.... I mean, you know your daughter though, so talk to her and find out what she's really got on her mind about it, kwim?

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Old 09-20-2006, 02:29 PM   #32
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Re: How do I handle this? Disturbing to say the least....

Oh my, that is terrible! Thank you so much for sharing your story with me though.

I am planning on sitting down to talk with her tonight. I tried to yesterday but she was so overly tired she didn't want anything to do with a serious converstation. I did tell my brother what SIL said and he said "oh, I'm sure she didn't mean it that way". I can not force them (more so her than him) to properly raise my nephew or take him to counseling but I can keep my kids FAR FAR away from him. I told them we would not be at his birthday party and they actually cancelled it (not sure if it was a financial thing or a punishment thing). I truely hope they get him help so he never does this again though and so he can grow up to be a confident young man. As for my mom she knows I am upset and of course has not called me or stopped by (she is notorious for avoiding). I made it clear that she will not watch the kids which I know upset her and does hurt (especially considering she thinks I hav kids for her sake) but again, I am looking out for my kids and she has officially proved herself unfit in my eyes (has proven herself that way several times but this is the final straw). Thanks to all for your support, you always make it easy to come here fo advice.
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