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Old 09-19-2006, 12:12 PM   #1
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I feel like I'm a bad mom...

Am I?

DD was sick all weekend. She's been coughing and has had a runny nose for a couple weeks now (the doctor's office said it was viral). But she was really warm this weekend. Sunday morn I took her temp and it was 103.3 so I gave her some ibuprofen and we rested all day. She was refusing most foods, cranky, and even slept on my chest for a while (something she hasn't done since she was a little baby). I kept her home from daycare Monday even though her fever had broken. She was playful again, had a big appetite most of the day, and no fever. So this morning I sent her back to daycare so I could rest (I have bronchitis). She still had a bit of a cough, but if I kept her home every time she had a cough, she'd probably never go, KWIM?

I just got a call from daycare saying she has a rash on her back and stomach. They wanted to know if she was on any antibiotics or anything that would have caused an allergic reaction. Nope. She hasn't had ibuprofen since Sunday. The only thing I did give her was a little Benadryl this morning, as the NP at her doctor's office told us 2 weeks ago to use that for her runny nose/coughing. I wanted her to be more comfortable at daycare. They also said she had 1 runny poo diaper (which she hasn't had anything but solid BMs at home).

I asked if I needed to come get her. They said no, only if she has 2 more diarrhea dipes or develops a fever.

So am I a bad mom for not running over there to pick her up? I'm sure she has a virus. There's nothing you can do but wait it out anyway. I guess I'm feeling selfish because I really could use the rest, hence why I didn't run right over. But now I feel like they're going to be talking about me as one of "those" moms, KWIM? I guess I take a pretty laid-back approach when it comes to illnesses because most of the time, there's nothing you can do anyway other than make her comfortable. Hence why I felt no urgency. If she had serious symptoms, they would have told me. One time, they called and said she was having difficulty breathing so I rushed over - and she wasn't. She has reactive airway disease (like asthma) so that wouldn't have been uncommon, but she was just fine when I got there. So if they call to tell me she has a bit of a rash but no fever, I didn't think it was anything serious. No need for a doctor's visit, IMHO.

Please tell me some of you would do the same in my situation!


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Last edited by Severine; 09-19-2006 at 12:14 PM.
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Old 09-19-2006, 12:21 PM   #2
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Re: I feel like I'm a bad mom...

Don't beat yourself up for this. If it was urgent, the daycare would have told you to come get here, but they didn't. I'm sure they'd much rather you dealt with her sickness than them, ya know? I think even though children should come first, if you are not feeling so great yourself, you need rest too. How are you supposed to take good care of your DD if you are not doing well?

I hope the two of you get better soon!
Caitlin - mom to Viktor 3/8/06

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Old 09-19-2006, 12:49 PM   #3
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Re: I feel like I'm a bad mom...

You are right, rash is indicitive of a virus. Keep giving her benadryl for the nose it will help dry it up. You don't want the cold to settle down into her lungs.

and for the guilt...there are worse things you could do. If it was infants it would be one thing but it is toddlers......

Last edited by Timetodance; 09-19-2006 at 12:50 PM.
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Old 09-19-2006, 01:18 PM   #4
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Re: I feel like I'm a bad mom...

I've done this. She seemed fine when you sent her. She has already exposed everyone there (which happens, again, you thought she was fine) so no hurry in picking her up, IMO as long as she's not super upset.
Amy, student midwife
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