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Old 09-18-2006, 10:34 PM   #1
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Red face Need advice, seperation

Okay here's the deal, I babywear, breastfeed, cosleep, do not believe in CIO, I am VERY attached to my son vice/versa of course, he is very much a Momma's boy, now... *I* like it that way! My mother, husband, other family members mock some of it, tell me "you'll be sorry" so on and on... I ignore it, this is how I want to raise MY baby... anyhow, in Nov, we have DH's HS reunion coming up, it's about a five hour evening out... I am sitting here DREADING it! First of all cause the crowd he went to school with are a bunch of yuppies LMAO (no offense) but they are, so uptight and all that... and well I am also dreading leaving Gavin with DH's family, not cause I do not trust them but I am SO worried about how he will handle it, now yeah ok we plan on trying ok 15 min here & there, with us out of sight, moving up to 30 min, then maybe an hour so on... but I just don't see him doing well with it, he rarely chills out with Daddy he always wants Mommy, again let me remind you that is FINE with me... so my question is, any advice for seperation anxiety, any advice on "working our way" to this? LOL If it were up to me I wouldn't go to this reunion, I can tell already I am going to feel SO out of place (just looking at his class group on myspace LOL) seriously I am nothing like these people! BUT I am sure he really wants me to go, I mean he didn't even ask, it was just sort of assumed... anyhow, I guess I am done rambling LOL

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Old 09-18-2006, 10:50 PM   #2
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Re: Need advice, seperation

What time does the reunion start? Is there anyway that you can put him to sleep before you leave so he won't know you are gone?

that is a tough one, and sounds like a long night. Hopefully someone else will have better advice. My DD's were both good about going to others so I don't know.
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Old 09-19-2006, 06:08 AM   #3
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Re: Need advice, seperation

ugh no it only starts at 7 so of course we'll be gone even earlier

See we have no need for a sitter right now cause I stay home with him, and honestly as far as well what about a date night? Well I don't know anyone around here well enough to trust them with my baby, I am VERY picky about who I will leave my kids with, especially Gavin since he's not old enough to voice any concerns
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Old 09-19-2006, 09:42 AM   #4
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Re: Need advice, seperation

When my DD was about 2 1/2 months old we left her with grandma and auntie (my mom and sister) for about 4 hours for a wedding reception. She wasn't *thrilled* about it, mind you, but she did OK.

My DD has always picked up on my anxiety level, like a little divining rod or something. If you're OK with it, your son will be more likely to be OK with it. Try a little pumping so he'll have a familiar snack...does he take a paci, or is he a thumb baby like my DD? (see my avatar)

Class reunions are always a little weird I think, but I was so curious about what happened to everyone that I went anyway. We had a good time. (DD was 15 m.o. at the time, and stayed with grandma and auntie again with no problems.) What's the itinerary for the event? Is there a "family night" one night and formal dinner/dance the next? I took my DD with me for the first event of our reunion. Had to show her off, you see.

My DD was about the same age as your DS when I first left her at the church for Parents' Night Out. ($5 for 3 1/2 hours! Bargain! ) But I cried and cried. The lady taking care of the infants felt so sorry for me she gave me her cellphone number "just in case". DD was fine, just sleepy by the time I picked her up.

Go and have a good time, mama! You deserve it.
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Old 09-19-2006, 09:42 AM   #5
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Re: Need advice, seperation

Well,
I know it is hard to leave your baby, but I encourage you to do it for the reunion. I nkow it's not important to you, but apparently it is to your DH, and whether it feels like it or not, you do need a break. I know that you have chosen a babywearing and AP, so that makes this a hard situation. I would like to pose a thought though...what if something tragic happens to you? I hope that doesnt happen, but if it did it would be important for your baby to know that you arent the only safe person in his world. I think he will sense your confidence or lack there of in leaving him with the in laws, and go from there. Babies are very perceptive and clearly you two have a strong bond. If you get anxious, you can bet he will too. If you are able to curb your anxiety (take a xanax or a stiff drink beforehand if need be ) I think he will be fine.

And incidentally, if he is fine when you leave, it doesnt mean he doesnt love his mommy best. He's just well adjusted which is a compliment to you!
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Old 09-19-2006, 09:53 AM   #6
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Re: Need advice, seperation

My younger DS went through a stage like this...and i was always REALLY worried that he would scream the entire time i was gone...most of the time he did pretty well and only cried a little...as long as you leave him with someone who understands that babies cry and they are there to hold him and love him it'll be ok go have a good time knowing he is loved!
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Old 09-19-2006, 09:56 AM   #7
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Re: Need advice, seperation

thanks ladies yeah we will baby step it I think even lol
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Old 09-19-2006, 01:03 PM   #8
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Re: Need advice, seperation

Is there any way you can take him with you? My dh's best friend's wedding is next summer and he is in it. It's a "no kids allowed" event, but we'll probably still be bringing dd since it will be overnight and she'll still be nursing (she will be about 16-17mo). We've talked to them about it and they're fine. Another option for us (since I have another friend that lives in that area) is that we'll take her with us and my friend will just watch her during the wedding.

Are there any parks nearby where the reunion is? or some other fun place they could take him? You could see if you can do that so that they're closer to where you are, if that helps.

Good luck with the working up to it, I hope it works for you! I hope you find a solution that works well that you all are comfortable with!
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Old 09-19-2006, 01:31 PM   #9
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Re: Need advice, seperation

nah it's a buffet and open bar from 7pm-12am so not a kid friendly place going to try and baby step it, like leave him for 15 min at a time here & there working up to 30 min then an hour see how it goes...
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