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Old 09-19-2006, 06:05 PM   #1
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I hate to do this :( UPDATE: Will not be receiving my stuff now, obviously

...but I may have to give negative feedback and could use advice.

I requested baby clothes on a swap forum, for purchase or swap, weeks ago. Someone approached me (not the other way around) to swap maternity clothes for baby clothes. I got my stuff out to her immediately. Two weeks passed and I PM'd her. She said THEN (not at the time of the swap...which SHE initiated) that she didn't have the postage money (??) so she hadn't sent my stuff yet. ETA: She had received the stuff I sent her already but still she never mentioned to me that she still hadn't gotten mine out, and I guess wouldn't have said anything if I hadn't PM'd her about it.

More weeks passed...she PM'd me saying she did send the package but it was returned because she overstuffed a pre-paid bag.

Okay, fine. More weeks...and still nothing...so I have given her an ultimatum...I get the clothes by Friday or give negative feedback. She did PM me I think a week ago or so asking if I got the clothes. I haven't and I don't trust anymore that she even really sent them. I mean how can I? Or that she packaged it correctly or whatever...which isn't particularly fair. Trust me, it wasn't cheap for me to ship adult-sized clothes for her but I did it because we had an agreement.

Was this appropriate? Is this how I go about it?

I want no ill will and obviously am not going to state or even hint who the person is but at this point I'm feeling awful about this. I am very disappointed and just am not sure how to handle this. Am I handling it correctly? Giving her four more days (total of, I think, 6 weeks from our initial agreement...I'll have to go back and check) and then issuing the negative feedback? The rock and the hard place is that if I don't, just to be nice, then the next mama could get duped.

Even if I do get the clothes at this point there was considerable aggravation. In the case that maybe I do happen to get the clothes, should I let go of the whole feedback issue?

Thanks for any input.

ETA: Please note that my swapper and I didn't communicate on my thread on the forum--just via PM. So there is no way to "track back" to who she was. Just wanted to reiterate that there's no danger of her identity being exposed and I have no wish to do so. She is a nice person...but this has hurt my feelings and I am very disappointed at never receiving my stuff. I feel like I've given this plenty of time and I think I had to draw the line somewhere. Thanks!

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Last edited by SoftBumBaby; 10-07-2006 at 09:51 PM.
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Old 09-19-2006, 06:13 PM   #2
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Re: I hate to do this :(

wow this is hard cause it was a trade, so not like you can ask for a refund I am not sure Mama, I mean feedback is about all you can do now, and it has been a long time, though I can understand circumstances arising, it's a toughy sorry I am no help
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Old 09-19-2006, 06:18 PM   #3
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Re: I hate to do this :(

I'm sorry, Friday is 5 weeks, not 6 weeks. Just double-checked and I don't want to be exaggerating or anything.

Thanks, Gavinsmommy.
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Old 09-19-2006, 06:33 PM   #4
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Re: I hate to do this :(

I would leave negative feedback. That's about all you can do unfortunately. I think you have been more than fair. IMO, when you hear multiple excuses for not getting your stuff, you are dealing with a scammer. Sorry you are dealing with this
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Old 09-20-2006, 11:32 PM   #5
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Re: I hate to do this :(

The saga continues. I can't send an e-mail to her. I get a message that she's not set up to receive e-mails or something of that nature. So I can only rely on that latest PM I sent her stating that by Friday, I'm leaving my feedback. I am so annoyed and upset with this.
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Old 09-20-2006, 11:35 PM   #6
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Re: I hate to do this :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by kimb96
I would leave negative feedback. That's about all you can do unfortunately. I think you have been more than fair. IMO, when you hear multiple excuses for not getting your stuff, you are dealing with a scammer. Sorry you are dealing with this
Thanks, Kim. Yes, I guess I'll be doing that...and going out now and buying a bunch of baby clothes. The whole point was to save money, not have to spend more...which makes this even more upsetting. DH and I are definitely not made of money...we have a child with autism who needs all kinds of treatments and doctors that insurance doesn't cover...that's why I'm even cloth diapering in the first place, to save money wherever I can. I spent a good amout on shipping this person's stuff--I think it was $9--but figured I was saving since she said she had "a whole bunch" of baby clothes for me. But now...I'm out the shipping money AND new baby clothes. I am so p*ssed that anybody would do this. Frankly, at this point I'm pretty sure I'll leave negative feedback even if I do, by some miracle, get the clothes, because none of this was fair and this woman offered such silly excuses for not getting my stuff out to me.

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Old 09-21-2006, 06:32 AM   #7
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Re: I hate to do this :(

Sorry to hear you had such a bad experience Momma! What size baby clothes was she sending you? Maybe we can help fill in a little? We all know that DS Mommas ROCK (well, most of them, !)
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Old 09-21-2006, 10:36 AM   #8
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Re: I hate to do this :(

Awwwwwwwww, thanks. I'm not sure what I have left to swap. Well, I do have three adorable medium-sized covers that I don't really use much...they're beautiful...a purple sun-motif one, one with planets and one with...I don't even remember, I'll have to go check. I'm sorry to have whined...I'm not looking for freebies or anything, just so so disappointed. However...the mama did contact me late last night and there may be some sort of a resolution, anyway. Just not sure what to do about feedback b/c I hate to have other mamas deal with this but OTOH...I hate to be mean. This is a tough situation since feedback is permanent. You know?
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Old 09-21-2006, 02:11 PM   #9
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Re: I hate to do this :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoftBumBaby
Awwwwwwwww, thanks. I'm not sure what I have left to swap. Well, I do have three adorable medium-sized covers that I don't really use much...they're beautiful...a purple sun-motif one, one with planets and one with...I don't even remember, I'll have to go check. I'm sorry to have whined...I'm not looking for freebies or anything, just so so disappointed. However...the mama did contact me late last night and there may be some sort of a resolution, anyway. Just not sure what to do about feedback b/c I hate to have other mamas deal with this but OTOH...I hate to be mean. This is a tough situation since feedback is permanent. You know?
If you receive the clothes, leave a neutral feedback with something along the lines of:
Problematic Trade. Poor Communication. Did receive after 6 weeks.
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Old 09-21-2006, 09:47 PM   #10
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Re: I hate to do this :(

Momma! I certainly didnt mean to even imply you were looking for freebies! I just know I have TONS of kids clothes sitting around I would love to see go to good use in home #2 (or 3 or more LOL!)

I think the PP had some great advice concering your transaction!
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