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Old 05-24-2008, 10:23 AM   #1
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HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

I'm so confused and frustrated. I have one side that produces much more than the other and also has faster let down. I've played around with trying to feed more on the bad side and even things out, but since ds is older he's been just bfing form both sides with each feed and things were fine (unbalanced but fine)
Well lately the little stinker has a mind of his own and will not feed on my bad sude. He latches on sucks for 2 seconds and flings himself off and gets mad. He knows the other side lets down fatser and he gets more and now he is basically refusing the Left side all together.
I am going to wean him gradually over the next while ebcause we want to ttc the next baby and I have to be on meds that will kill my supply and that I shouldn't take while bfing. (please please no anti weaning comments. this is hard enough on me and I know that when he's older he would rather have a sibling than more months of extended breastfeeding)

He will take some milk from a bottle but not very much at one time. So now what? How would I go about gently wiorking towards weaning in this situation?

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Old 05-24-2008, 10:46 AM   #2
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Re: HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

How long do you plan to take to wean? How often and when do you bf now?

I would not wean to a bottle at this point. I would use a sippy or what ever he uses now.
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Old 05-24-2008, 11:12 AM   #3
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Re: HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

ummm ... anyone else?
as I said I'm not looking for anti bottle, anti weaning comments I'm looking for actual help, advice or if anyone else has been through this.

I bf first thing in the morning, before naps and before bed which works out to 4-5 bfs per day (usually 4 as he is going to one nap now)
He takes a sippy for a sip or two with his meals . I do actually want him to take a bottle I DO need and want to wean here.

Last edited by Griffinsmom; 05-24-2008 at 11:17 AM. Reason: added info
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Old 05-24-2008, 12:19 PM   #4
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Re: HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

If you are nursing 4-5 times a day, I would first start by cuttting down to a strict 4 times a day. Once you've adjusted to that, drop another, wait another 2 weeks, and drop the other non-nap/non-bedtime nursing. Then after another 2 weeks, drop the nap/bedtime nursings at the same time. I know that may seem like a really drawn out weaning schedule, but it worked really well for me and DD and I've heard that it is helpful to the child if you don't rush weaning (however, I recognize that may not be possible if time is an issue for you--so if that is the case, you could probably wait a week in between dropping a nursing slot). When you drop a nursing, just offer a new/exciting snack to take its place (dd really liked nice, fresh fruit--kiwi, bananas, pears...especially juicy kinds of fruit)...maybe yogurt or cheese if not allergic. your LO doesn't have to drink milk if he won't take it...just try to get the calcium/protein he needs...and liquids can be juice, popsicles, water with a straw (DD loves to drink water this way)....while I was weaning DD, I made certain exceptions to make sure she was getting enough liquids, because it is natural for a little one to refuse a sippy cup or bottle or whatever when going through change like that. I have a friend who just kept her DS really really busy during the weeks she was weaning him...and did many outings during his usual nurse times...so he would sort of forget he wanted to nurse.

One thing you may want to consider is skipping the bottle. Otherwise, in a few months you will have to "wean" him from that. There are sippy cups that have a nice soft spout that aren't quite a bottle, but may be a good transition sippy cup...like the NUBY brand.

Anyway, hope that info helps!! Good luck with weaning! You just have to prepare yourself mentally that it will be hard on you and your DS...but I would definitely agree with you that your son would much rather have a sibling than be nursed for a longer amount of time. Don't sweat the small stuff!!!
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Old 05-24-2008, 12:32 PM   #5
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Re: HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

with dd1 I had one breast that produced way more than others, and eventually she stopped taking the "bad" side. for the last few months of her bfing she'd only take the good side. If you're planning on weaning I'd just go ahead and give up on the bad side--the other side should be enough and I never really got lopsided . Good luck!
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Old 05-24-2008, 12:45 PM   #6
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Re: HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Griffinsmom View Post
ummm ... anyone else?
as I said I'm not looking for anti bottle, anti weaning comments I'm looking for actual help, advice or if anyone else has been through this.

I bf first thing in the morning, before naps and before bed which works out to 4-5 bfs per day (usually 4 as he is going to one nap now)
He takes a sippy for a sip or two with his meals . I do actually want him to take a bottle I DO need and want to wean here.
I was not at all trying to give an anti weaning or bottle comment. I thought because you had said your LO would only take a little from a bottle, that maybe a sippy would work better and I thought it may be better to go straight to that so you did not have to wean from a bottle down the road as pp said. I really do what to give you some advise that is why I asked when and how often you nursed and what time frame you were looking at.

When I was down to that number of sessions, I cut out the morning one. We just got up and had breakfast. At first it was hard because I like the early morning snuggle and the few minutes of extra rest, but after a few days, we all adjusted fine. You can do one session every other week or every week. Next I would do the naps/nap. Now this one was hard for us because we nursed to sleep. But what I did was go for a walk at the usually nap time as a distraction and he fell asleep in the stroller and thus no nursing. After a few weeks of going for walks without nursing, I was able to lay down with him at nap time and not nurse. That may be a good way to help him transistion, still having you close, but not nurse. Bedtime was our last to go and by far the hardest. We did our normal routine and I laid down with him. He cried some for three nights. I was 3 months pregnant at the time and it was very, very uncomfortable to nurse any longer. Otherwise I would have kept the nap and bedtime session a bit longer, so I can relate on wanting to wean before your LO is fully ready.

If he wants to nurse at other times in the day, I would just try to distract with something else.

I agree with PP that you do not have to worry a ton about milk. Just offer foods high in protein, calcium, and fatty acids. Maybe work on just water now if he will only take a bit from a sippy or bottle to prevent any dehydration. Also, offer lots of fruits they will help with dehydration.

As far as the breast preference, I would just offer the side he prefers because soon that breast's supply will start to go down with the weaning and when he is weaned it will not be an issue.

I just want you to know that I sympathize with you as I had problems getting pregnant and several miscarriages and I had to wean sooner than I anticipated. I do not judge you at all.
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Old 05-24-2008, 01:42 PM   #7
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Re: HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

thanks for the replies and thanks for clarifying- guess I'm a bit sensitive after being slammed by anti-weaners in the past and my own sadness that he's growing up
I think I willl try the gradual eliminate one feed every 2- 3 weeks approach and hope he takes enough from the lame boob to keep it going.
I'm really not sure about wether I should go for bottle or sippy. he's not partial to either and basically takes two swigs and throws it regardless of which one I offer. He's like that with bfing though now too-- appparently he's VERY busy crawling , walking and getting into everything. He's also way too busy for diaper changes--that's a bigger battle than bfing I think
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Old 05-24-2008, 02:06 PM   #8
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Re: HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

Maybe he is already trying to wean himself? My daughter (she has always done things her way) weaned herself one weekend at 9 months. Not my plan but...thats how it happened. You bfed for 11 mo now ,some don't ev en try so good for you!
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Old 05-24-2008, 02:25 PM   #9
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Re: HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

Start by eliminating the feedings that are least important to him. One at a time, as slowly as you're comfortable with going -- will help him adjust.

I agree that at 11 months I would not wean to a bottle, because then you'll want to be weaning back FROM the bottle in another couple of months. Nothing wrong with going right to a sippy cup at that point in time.

If he won't drink cow's milk, you'll need to make up the fats in another way, however, since babies need whole milk of some sort until 2. (not a weaning slam -- just saying to figure out where he'll get that replacement fat from if he doesn't like milk -- some add canola oil, butter, coconut oil, etc to other food).
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Old 05-24-2008, 04:45 PM   #10
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Re: HELP- 11 mo old refusing ONE side- weaning question

Only nurse on the preferred side and wean him from that.

We have been one-side nursing ONLY since about 2 or 3 months. She's in 75% for weight, so no clearly there is problem ...

Good luck, mama!
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