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Old 05-24-2008, 12:09 PM   #1
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Cross-Racial Adoptions

So I've noticed from some of ya'lls blogs that we have a number of cross-racial adoptions among us. I think that is so cool.

We were hesitant when we first started the process to go with African American because the cultural opinion on Caucasians adopting AA seemed so negative. We were open to everything else. But after talking to some AA friends and praying about it, we went ahead and opened our preferences to everything. Secretly we hoped for an AA because we love diversity and we didn't care what people thought.

And WE LOVE IT! We can't wait to expose ourselves to being the minority for awhile and attend a black church etc., when he's older. We want to give him the gammit of experiences.

So what about you? What are your thoughts on it? Will you search out those like your son/daug of a different race? Are you in a support group of mixed race families? I'm curious what other people are doing.

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Old 05-24-2008, 01:51 PM   #2
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Re: Cross-Racial Adoptions

We are in the process of adopting with no racial preferences. So, much of what you want to know- I dont know yet! lol I do know that DH and I have already decided that if we get an AA son, we will adopt another AA child down the road (same if we were to get a Hispanic child, or any other COC). We will of course seek diversity in our outside lives, but we want our kids to feel that at least one other family member looks like them. Of course- thats all theory at this point, lol.
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Old 05-24-2008, 01:52 PM   #3
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Re: Cross-Racial Adoptions

My avatar says it all. We are open to any child the Lord leads us to, race has never mattered. My family of origin became multi-racial when I was 15 and my parents began to adopt trans-racially. I now have 1 full blooded Oklahoman bi-racial brother, 1 full Jamacain immigrant brother, 1 brother half Haitian immigrant and half Kenyan immigant, 1 Ethopian American sister and 1 Caucasion with Creole blood in her sister.

It really wasn't a big deal when we went to adopt. We have 4 bio-children, who are Caucasian (with a touch of Jewish and a touch of Native American through I and DH respectively). Then, we have a Sierra Leonian-American son, an E. Indian-American son and a Hispanic son from S. California, Mexican and Mexican Indian via his birthparents heritage--though both were born in S. Cal just like him.

What the future holds for our family, I honestly cannot tell you. Dh had a Vietnamese co-worker demand to know why we hadn't adopted an Asian child. I told him to correct her next time that we HAVE adopted an Asian child. If she means Far East Asian, we might in the future but those programs, Taiwan being the exception, are generally not large family friendly anymore. I would love to return to the African continent to adopt in the future. But, I don't know where we'll go, or where another child might exist. I know we're not looking to adopt right now. We just brought one home and we haven't finalized that adoption yet.

But, we agreed when we married that rather than set a number, or even a race or country of origin, we would consider each individual child as they were presented to our family and decide if this child was meant to be part of our family case by case. Three have been definitely ours. Several others didn't come for a variety of reasons. We're still young and the future hasn't been revealed to us yet. So, we'll just have to see.
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Old 05-24-2008, 06:48 PM   #4
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Re: Cross-Racial Adoptions

We have 2 bio sons (and one on the way) and just adopted a daughter from Ethiopia. At first, we were a little nervous to how it was going to play out, because we live in the outskirts of Detroit, which is one of the largest segregated cities in the US. There is still a lot of racial tension here. So far, so good. I have gotten some really weird looks from both Caucasian and AA people...and some really nice, sincere comments from both Caucasian and AA people. We also plan to adopt again from Ethiopia so we can have 2 children share the same heritage. We are also open to adopting from other races/countries in the future. I feel the best thing for me (living in a predominantly AA town) is to not act apologetic for having a mixed family. And to make sure that I do my research on haircare and everything so my daughter will never feel cheated for having a white mom.
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Old 05-24-2008, 07:53 PM   #5
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Re: Cross-Racial Adoptions

Amber-
The haircare deal is a big one. I don't want him to be teased that he has bad hair so we have an AA hairdresser friend who is our "consultant."

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Do you all live in a fairly diverse area? If not, do you have thoughts on your kids being surrounded by a bunch of white people? I don't know how much to be thoughtful and proactive on that. BTW, do you have a CFer in your fam? I'm a CFer.

We are looking to add another AA boy to our family so they can have fun together and relate when they need to.
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Old 05-24-2008, 10:18 PM   #6
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Re: Cross-Racial Adoptions

We are white and have adopted 2 AA siblings. We live in a mostly AA area, and everyone has been really sweet to us about our kids. A few people have even thanked us for adopting them. Really, we are the lucky ones to have 2 gorgeous and loveable children. We have to move to an amost entirely white small town, because my husband found a job there (not a lot of openings in his field where we are). I am kind of worried that it may not be the best thing for the kids. They are very young though, so we can always move to a more diverse area before they start school. We intentionally took the kids out in public when we visited the town to see how our family would be treated. We got some strange looks, mostly from old people. Overall though, everyone was really sweet to the kids. It helps that they are adorable. I read Inside Transracial Adoption and would like to recommend it. Great book. Also, Burt's Bees Apricot Oil is great in AA hair.
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Old 05-25-2008, 10:31 AM   #7
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Re: Cross-Racial Adoptions

We are open to any race, so we don't know what the race of our child will be. Within our family, we have a lot of support for it - my SIL is AA, and so my nephews are biracial. My adopted brother and adopted sister are Native Americans. And in the community I live in I see a fair number of interacial marriages and transracial adoptions.

I read an article recently that talked about adoption trends, and I was surprised to see that a fairly large number of AA boys are being adopted out in Canada because they can't find placements for them here.
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Old 05-25-2008, 02:22 PM   #8
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Re: Cross-Racial Adoptions

We get a ton of support on line. We have a daughter from haiti who will light up any room she is in. We think she is going to be some sort of performer! LOL We are hoping it is not stripper following her current idea of fun!!! Anyway she is amazing and we have a Chinese daughter who sits there and laughs at her all day. They play off each other and if someone gives or says something to Lilly (AA) she says and Rory! So no one can forget they are sisters!
We are taking the approach of following their lead. We expose them to everything. Any Haitian thing we can get our hands on! And we all went to the Asian American day at the local college. We don't see color at home but we want to make sure that they know that everyone is equal. Hopefully we are doing OK. They are young though. i know the questions will come.
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Old 05-25-2008, 02:38 PM   #9
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Re: Cross-Racial Adoptions

well we were open to lots and lots of races and this was what we were given:

We jsut adore him, he fits so well into our family.

Everyone can't believe how much he looks like my DH, he really does. So our dilemna is what to do if next time we are chosen for a diff race, it's only a dilemna because we are pretty sure 2 is a good number for us but we like a lot of the PP didn't want a child with diff colored skin to feel outnumbered, so we wanted to adopt 2 that were of similiar features, like it would be fine if one was from China and one from Korea, just as long as they are diff. from us in some similiar ways. DOes that makes sense?
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Old 05-25-2008, 02:44 PM   #10
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Re: Cross-Racial Adoptions

Suzanne- I know the struggle. I think 2 is perfect for us too! He's so stinkin cute. My thoughts are that you go with what you got for number 2. If not, you may feel you need a 3rd to relate to the 2nd. Although some families do fine with a white and another race child. They are both adopted and that is a huge bottom line for them.
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