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Old 05-27-2008, 10:58 AM   #11
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

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Originally Posted by mum2James&Julia View Post
Is this a joke? I wouldn't even treat a dog like that, let alone my child.

It's a phase, once they learn to communicate this behaviour will stop. I'm going through it with though though. Try to encourage baby to communicate (by signing or verbalizing) before you respond to their need (whatever you know they're screaming for). You'll see a gradual improvement soon, as long as you don't encourage the screaming by responding to it and giving the child what they want (occasionally, it probably wouldn't hurt to respond to the screaming but you don't want to do it consistently).

ETA: to illustrate, if you know baby is screaming because he/she wants water, you might say "Would you like some water (enunciating the consonants - Wa-TeR)?" Make the sign for water "Can you say 'Wa-TeR'?" etc. Once they make some sort of vocalization (doesn't have to sound anything like what you've asked them to say), then respond to them. Of course, sometimes they're just so insistent that they need whatever it is RIGHT NOW, and in that case I'd wouldn't be so demanding for a response and just respond to their need.



Very well said!!! I would never do that to my baby! She is one year old and doing the same thing. ITS A PHASE!!!!! SERIOUSLY! WHY WOULD YOU PUNISH
Should we put something in your mouth everytime you have a ugly attitude? Be kind to them! They are babies! They are just discovering how things work.

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Old 05-27-2008, 11:10 AM   #12
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

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Fun stuff. We're going through that at 11 months too.
Partly I think ds is experimenting with pitch and volume and is quite impressed with himself and partly I think he's becomming frustrated that now he's gotten to a stage where he KNOWS what he wants and has no way to express it. This is all a normal part of development.

When ds shrieks at me I casually gaze over at him and give him my "really now?" face and then go back to what I'm doing. At this age I find saying NO and trying to instruct him on what to do instead is pointless, he's just too young for that and giving it all that attention is just reinforcing that behavior. Anything forbidden becomes soooo interesting for him. I make sure I AM rewarding him for other things and showing him more pleasant ways to get my attention. If he has something that WORKS, he'll stop doing waht DOESN'T, but if that behavior gets him attention - even negative attention, it'll keep happening. So as soon as he does something else, I makie sure I'm rewarding that.

Also NB to keep in mind that babies are not moral at this age so they can't really be taught "right vs wrong". The things I have said "noooo, you don't need to be getting in there" about are all things he's obsessed with now-- pulling up on the toilet, dog water bowl etc etc

When ds cries, screams or shrieks my Mom hops to it fast. She gets flustered and says"ok,ok,ok,ok . or it's ok griffin, it's ok honey" and hurries to finish changing him or whatever and boy does that get him going. he plays grandma like a violin I'm always saying to her "relax, be calm mom, don't hurry. he's just registering a protest"

HTH Sometimes I just repeat my mantra of this too shall pass. They're only wee for a short time.

well put!
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Old 05-27-2008, 11:34 AM   #13
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

Well I'm in the minority, but I don't think something like vinegar is "punishment" - I guess I see it more as training. You've said yourselves that lo's aren't moral - the don't get right vs. wrong...but they do get "ouch" or "yuck" or "mmm, mommy". LO's know that if they smile and snuggle, you'll pick them up and love on them. So why not teach them that when they scream it's a yucky thing? And teaching them not to scream just b/c doesn't mean they won't scream when something bad happens. For me it's no different than teaching them not to touch an outlet or not to touch a hot stove, or not to play with something they like. I don't childproof my house, I train my children not to touch things I don't want them touching. I also train them that screaming in the house or just b/c they're mad or want attention isn't ok. I also train them that yelling outside when we're having fun is, well, fun!

ETA: The most important aspect of whatever you choose is consistency. If you choose to ignore him, hope the "stage" passes, use vinegar, put him in a crib, etc., do it consistently. Whenever he does scream, apply whatever method you've chosen. Generally, if you're vigilantly consistent, most behavior will change within a few days. It may pop up a week later as a test of the waters, but if you are again consistent, he will *most likely* be done with it.
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Old 05-27-2008, 11:46 AM   #14
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

The difference is exactly what you said -- that it is training. I think training is for animals, I'll stick to TEACHING my daughter. Without yucky tasting things in her mouth.
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Old 05-27-2008, 11:56 AM   #15
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

I agree with the mama's who have pointed out that it is a phase..and that a one year old is just experimenting with the way the world works. Yes, its annoying when they scream for attention...but do they need to be punished for it? NO WAY! If the child was 3 and had good verbal skill...then, maybe there could be some consequences for attention seeking screaming. I agree with the PP that was suggesting helping the child figure out what they wanted rather than entirely ignoring the screaming. I even think that although it is irritating, you should probably still stay in the room with a child that is 1 and screaming for attention, even if you are choosing to ignore the behavior. I'm sure the OP is already doing this, but maybe your LO needs you to give him even more of your undivided attention (not when he screams) but at other times, just in case he is just needing a little extra positive attention. I just also wanted to point out that parents in general should be careful to not use "the crib" as a punishment either...Yes, a crib is usually a safe place for a child...but I would personally only use it if I was having an emergency and needed a safe place to put my child until I could get help. I used to work at a child abuse prevention agency, and we would tell parents that if they were at their breaking point with a child (where they felt like they were going to hurt the child) THEN it would be okay to put the child in the crib and walk away to "cool off" and call someone to come over and help. Its a really tough job to be a parent...especially when we are lacking in sleep and sacrificing a lot of our time for our kiddos...but I definitely think that children should be handled with dignity and care, and I think it is a major strength that the OP was willing to post on here asking for advice...because having the humility as a parent to ask for help is something that makes you a GOOD parent!! to the mama having to listen to the screaming.
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Old 05-27-2008, 11:57 AM   #16
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

Teaching is training. And a little bit of vinegar I truly didn't feel was cruel -- it makes it so they don't like to scream for no reason. I don't think it would give them the picture that screaming for a good reason is bad. But I am known for giving kids more credit than most people.
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Old 05-27-2008, 12:50 PM   #17
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

Teaching and training most certainly have difficult connotations. Would you say you trained your husband to change diapers? Or trained him to use the computer? Well, maybe, but that would sure be more condescending than saying you taught him. I give my child the same respect in that manner that I'd give my husband -- and putting something yucky tasting into my child's mouth DOES seem more like the way many would treat an animal rather than a child -- I maintain that I feel far more comfortable calling that method training than teaching, and there most certainly IS a difference.
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Old 05-27-2008, 01:10 PM   #18
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

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Originally Posted by tallanvor View Post
Teaching is training. And a little bit of vinegar I truly didn't feel was cruel -- it makes it so they don't like to scream for no reason. I don't think it would give them the picture that screaming for a good reason is bad. But I am known for giving kids more credit than most people.
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Old 05-27-2008, 01:30 PM   #19
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

Eww. If someone put vinegar in my mouth, I'd just scream more.

The best I can give for screaming to is whisper to your child. They have to quiet down to hear you. It really works.
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Old 05-27-2008, 01:43 PM   #20
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Re: Advice Needed for SCREAMING 1 year old!

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Eww. If someone put vinegar in my mouth, I'd just scream more.

The best I can give for screaming to is whisper to your child. They have to quiet down to hear you. It really works.
Yes we did this with our LO and it works, he really does whisper, I think it gets the point across and wroks so much better than yelling which is what our first reaction is to yell at them to quiet down, but that doesn't make sense either, it's just a reaction to be heard over their loudness. I love the whispering, it brings the stress level down with it.
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