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Old 09-23-2006, 05:50 PM   #1
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Rant about family and BFing

Ok I dont know if this is the right spot for this but I am just so upset about this....


I was at a family party today where we were celibrating a new baby, I saw that they were using the microwave to warm the bottle so I asked if it was formula? and my aunt said no its BM well trying to be helpfull I said you cant microwave BM it kills the nutriants and my Fing aunt basicly told me to shut up OK I know what I am talking about here and she is not feeding baby off breast at all just pumping and Bottle feeding so this is everyfeeding they are microwaving the BM OMG how stupid!!!!! ok I am done I am jsut hurt that no one would listen to me and I just got blown off!

thanks for listing!

Clarissa

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Old 09-23-2006, 05:55 PM   #2
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Re: Rant about family and BFing

Is it your aunts baby? THey really do it at every feeding? If you've already pissed them off, then I'd think about sending them a link to re-heating breastmilk or mailing or giving them an article on it. Tell them you really are just trying to help them out, since a new baby can be overwhelming or confusing or some junk like that.
Sorry she was rude to you!
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Old 09-23-2006, 05:56 PM   #3
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Re: Rant about family and BFing

My milk never came in. I had to pump to make it work but it never did. We ended up having to give DS formula at the hospital because of his jaundice and then he had no desire for the breast the bottle was just too easy. So don't be too quick to judge on the pumping thing. And as far as microwaving it doesn't necessarily take them out if not microwaved for any length of time. Sometimes people don't do things that we would do with our own children, but we have to put ourselves in their position and think about what might be unknown. I am not bashing you at all mama. I just have been in this position and I hated it when people were constantly ragging on me about stuff. I was doing all I could do and it was stress enough that I couldn't even breast feed... I felt like a failure. Sometimes even the closest friend or relative you hide this stuff from because you feel like a failure when on the outside you bite their head off for the same reason.
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Old 09-23-2006, 06:02 PM   #4
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Re: Rant about family and BFing

I was not judging her at all, I was jsut saying she was doing it at everyfeeding becouse she was not nursing, I dont care how baby gets the milk, and there are tons of stuff out about not heating BM in the microwave, why did you post I feel bad enough and I did not attack anyone its my cousins baby not my aunts thanks Kim for understaning and being supportive!

Clarissa
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Old 09-23-2006, 06:05 PM   #5
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Re: Rant about family and BFing

Quote:
Originally Posted by shell015
My milk never came in. I had to pump to make it work but it never did. We ended up having to give DS formula at the hospital because of his jaundice and then he had no desire for the breast the bottle was just too easy. So don't be too quick to judge on the pumping thing. And as far as microwaving it doesn't necessarily take them out if not microwaved for any length of time. Sometimes people don't do things that we would do with our own children, but we have to put ourselves in their position and think about what might be unknown. I am not bashing you at all mama. I just have been in this position and I hated it when people were constantly ragging on me about stuff. I was doing all I could do and it was stress enough that I couldn't even breast feed... I felt like a failure. Sometimes even the closest friend or relative you hide this stuff from because you feel like a failure when on the outside you bite their head off for the same reason.

Mama. I don't think she was crapping on the formula or even pumping. Sounds like she just didn't like being yelled at for just trying to be helpful on a VERY important subject.

To the OP- I would be so pissed! Actually I would prolly cry, 'cause I hate being yelled at, then I would be pissed at myself... Anyway, you were in the right- just trying to help the baby get the best he can.
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Old 09-23-2006, 08:12 PM   #6
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Re: Rant about family and BFing

You might want to tell her that fresh BM can stay out for 10 hrs, then you don't have to warm it!! Not everyone knows that, but you could get info from kellymom, etc and give her. I know my cousin's wife was very relieved when I told her that.

That was the lifesaver with my DD #1, I just pumped and left 3 oz bottles for DH to feed her when I went to work. Also, when we did have to warm bottles for her, I would put a glass of water in the microwave and warm the bottle in the hot water.
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Old 09-24-2006, 06:58 PM   #7
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Re: Rant about family and BFing

That's too bad...
You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

You should never put BM in the microwave-you're absolutely right!! And you were right to say something.
Many mums are very defensive and often think they're under attack when we're only trying to help.
Maybe you could get in touch with your aunt and calmly let her know you were only trying to help and repeat your concerns about microwaving BM.
Some added professional material might help too. The LLL would probably have something.

Good luck. I know how you feel...
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Old 09-24-2006, 09:20 PM   #8
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Re: Rant about family and BFing

I'm glad you even told her about it!! Even if she didn't listen. I have a family member who did all sorts of things that shocked me but you could not tell her she was doing "wrong" or she would jump down your throat!!

You are absolutely right about heating BM in the microwave and for that matter, you shouldn't put a bottle of anything in the microwave...even formula.

I agree with a PP who said to email her a link to BF information and make sure that it says not to put BM in the microwave.

Good luck!!
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Old 09-24-2006, 10:02 PM   #9
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Re: Rant about family and BFing

thanks all, my other cousin talked to her about it after I left and the other cousin that was doing it said That she wished I would have told her! well I was not going to say anything after my aunt (her mom) jumped on me about it! so its all good she wnt be doing it anymore! thanks guys!

Clarissa
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Old 09-24-2006, 10:51 PM   #10
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Re: Rant about family and BFing

Quote:
Originally Posted by shell015
My milk never came in. I had to pump to make it work but it never did. We ended up having to give DS formula at the hospital because of his jaundice and then he had no desire for the breast the bottle was just too easy. So don't be too quick to judge on the pumping thing. And as far as microwaving it doesn't necessarily take them out if not microwaved for any length of time. Sometimes people don't do things that we would do with our own children, but we have to put ourselves in their position and think about what might be unknown. I am not bashing you at all mama. I just have been in this position and I hated it when people were constantly ragging on me about stuff. I was doing all I could do and it was stress enough that I couldn't even breast feed... I felt like a failure. Sometimes even the closest friend or relative you hide this stuff from because you feel like a failure when on the outside you bite their head off for the same reason.
PSA about breastfeedng and jaundice: It is rarely necessary to disrupt breastfeeding because of newborn jaundice.
http://www.kellymom.com/newman/07jaundice.html
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns...-jaundice.html


PSA for those who think every pro-breastfeeding post is an attack on those who cannot/ will not/ do not breastfeed: P~~~ get over it! It's just information!
There is no failure in being unable to breastfeed with the information (or misinformation) you had at the time. Just move forward and be happy with any knowledge you have gained that will contribute to future success with subsequent children.
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