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Old 06-16-2008, 09:38 PM   #21
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

That is so tricky! The first six months are so terrifying for new parents until the adoption is finalized! I worked with Child Protective Services for a while. In social work, the first law is CYA (cover your a...). In any situation where courts/supervision is involved, I would ask ahead of time, get it in writing, copy the thing you got in writing, and keep it in several safe places.

To me, there is no question that breastfeeding is the best choice, and a natural choice for any child, however, court systems are horrible. Depending on your caseworker, his or her supervisor, and the judge, there are any variation of problems that can come up. Better to be safe than sorry.

In my totally outside opinion, it would be worth the hassle. Imagine the amount of good you could do if it were unprecedented in your county!

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Old 06-16-2008, 10:29 PM   #22
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

Considering this isn't a very crunchy area in general, I have a feeling it would be a big thing to get permission--and so I guess I'm kind of shy about bringing it up in the first place. As it is we're going to have a homeschooling kindergartner by the time we have our license if we go through with foster-adopt licensing (still unsure), and I know that will raise more than a few eyebrows given it's still so out of the mainstream here.

On the fortunate side we are living in a time when *overall* breastfeeding is getting more positive press, but there are people who will forever think it's disgusting or whatever.
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Old 06-17-2008, 08:57 PM   #23
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

Apparently there is precedent...

http://birthassistance.tripod.com/id9.html

That gives me great hope!

I talked to a friend of a friend who works for CPS in Texas, and she said it will likely depend on the caseworker I get and the family situation. Asking about it in the context of other things our family "just does" will make it seem less odd, perhaps, as well as emphasizing that we tend to do things in ways that are more family- and children-oriented than the mainstream. She does not think this will be a detraction (asking, that is), but just that if I ask it that way it is less likely to be shot down immediately without discussion.

So I guess I needed another "cause"?
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Old 06-17-2008, 09:21 PM   #24
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

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Originally Posted by TempoHasPaws View Post
donor stands for donation, which is given I donate milk week and my recipient usually pays about $200 (shipping) for 1500oz across the US!
The Human Milk Bank charges for processing fees... that's what I was referring to in addition to shipping.
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Old 06-17-2008, 09:50 PM   #25
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

Congratulations on finding that info! I really hope things work out. Make sure to update if you get any news.
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Old 06-17-2008, 11:45 PM   #26
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

Of course all counties and state's have thier guidelines and each child's caseworker/social worker will have thier own opinion of it, but foster children DESERVE the same rights as biological children. Fight for it!

I wish I would have fought earlier on for b-feeding Olivia. I tried talkinig to about 4 people at the state and got the same 'what a freakish-question' look so I backed off. Now at 10 mos we are at term (and almost ADOPTION!!!) and I've started the process of induced laction. I so want to just wipp it out and BF her right there at the adoption, but that's probably not really appropriate .

In our state (WA) we CAN breast feed IF we get approval from Bio parents and/or the social worker. The trick is finding a social worker who doesn't think it's nasty and freakish.

The lady at WIC thought I was some kind of miracle story that I am producing some b-milk after a month of drugs/herbs/pumping and I've never given birth . It's really a taboo subject in most areas, but it needs to be drawn out of the woodwork! Foster children should have the same attachment benefit (really they need it even MORE) and nutritional benefit (again, most have had minimal to NO prenatal care and horrible nutrition and stressful pre natal experiences).

I just don't get why it's considered so freakish to everybody at the state.... It's OK to fill 'em up with factory made formula but it's weird/gross/'inappropriate' to provide a human baby with human milk . Leave it to the state! I couldn't even get approval to get milk from a milk bank/donation program. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Good luck! You're SO in the right frame of mind on this! I hope you have the gump to fight like he** for what is right!

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Old 06-18-2008, 01:02 PM   #27
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

This thread is fascinating! I am fostering a two month old, who we brought home from the hospital, and the thought of breastfeeding never occured to me. I just assumed it would not be allowed. We had enough confusion over whether birth mom could breastfeed or give us pumped breast milk, that I don't think I will make any effort in that direction.
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Old 06-18-2008, 03:03 PM   #28
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

Im a foster parent in Maryland and actually had this discussion with my social worker. She is super pro breastfeeding mom of 3 ( all bf'd 1yr+) She said NO WAY. She would remove the child ASAP if she suspected the foster mother was bfing the baby. Until
In foster or foster to adopt homes it is rare to get an infant that they dont give a chance for the parents to get back. They get months to work on their plan. If a foster mother is breastfeeding the baby it will have a MUCH harder time bonding/ rebonding with the birth mother or father. Even if the plan is moved from reunification to TPR ( termination of parental rights) that will only be after a minimum of 6 months ( baring something horrific) Even then relatives are sought out for permant placement ( grandparents, uncles aunts cousins etc) Where I agree babies deserve breast milk It would be very hard to bond in that way with a child just to have the baby taken away after 6 or 9 months because the birth parents "remembered" cousin X 2 states away and they pass a home study.
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Old 06-27-2008, 08:33 PM   #29
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

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Originally Posted by TestifyToLove View Post
Actually, the child does not belong to the adoptive parents until the adoption is finalized, which normally takes at least 6 months after placement if the child is placed after parental rights are terminated.

That said, legally, the pre-adoptive parents are given permission to make legal and medical decisions for the child within reason. In our case, we can consent for anything which does not require IV sedation or surgerical intervention. We can make educational decisions provided they don't conflict with the desires of our ds's case worker. We can negotiate his IEP but we can't homeschool him, for instance.

I think in a pre-adoptive placement you could probaby breastfeed, but I'm not sure you could if the child's caseworker wasn't in agreement. In a strictly foster placement, I dont think you could unless the birthmother consented. And, tbh, I doubt most birthmothers would consent.
I know that it is okay to nurse a baby in a pre- adoptive placement. A very dear friend of mine adopted a little man from Massachusetts and did just that. He was preterm due to his birth mothers drug use. She was able to be at the hospital as soon as he was born and actually breastfeed him! No One blinked an eye. It is such an amazing story. He is 2 now and mom is tandem nursing while 9 months prego with a surprise due any minute. She is amazing and he is finally a "normal" toddler.
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Old 07-03-2008, 06:33 PM   #30
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Re: Nursing in a foster-adopt situation

I think you can pump and give breast milk to a baby if you have a dr's note saying it is medically neccesary for the health of the baby because of the nutrients and benefits of breast milk. deffinanly ask and look into your options.
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