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Old 06-14-2008, 09:05 PM   #1
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Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

My son is 21 months. I can't take it anymore! He nurses at LEAST 2-3 time an hour. When he nurses, he always wants to play with the nipple on the other side, which is incredibly uncomfortable for me.

Now he practically wants to walk around with the boob in his mouth. I mean, he gets down off my lap, stands there, tries to walk away, everything. He twists every which way he can, which is painful and uncomfortable for me.

It's getting to the point where it really feels intrusive, and I just want him off of me. I feel terrible saying all this, but I don't know what else to do! Unfortunately, he'll only go to sleep while nursing, too.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I really wanted to let him nurse until he was ready to stop, but I'm really not enjoying it anymore at all.

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Old 06-14-2008, 09:22 PM   #2
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Re: Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

When my daughter was 2 she would not go to sleep except while nursing I cut out daytime nursing and then later she dropped the nighttime ones on her own. It was hard though to tell her no but I was 7 months pregnant and It was uncomfortable with my big belly and all.
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Old 06-14-2008, 09:28 PM   #3
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Re: Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

I would work on nursing manners. If my DS wants to twist around and play, the session is over. I also will pin his other arm under my arm to keep him from playing with my other breast. Or I put my hand over my own breast to keep him off!
Here's a link for you:
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/older-bab...g-manners.html
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Old 06-14-2008, 09:34 PM   #4
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Re: Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

I totally feel your frustration. I'm tandem nursing my 27 month old daughter and 4 1/2 month old son and I think my daughter needs it more!!!!
I've started singing the ABC's with her to time her nursing sessions. It's working really great. I'll say, "Ok, you get one ABC." I"ll sing it as fast or slow as I want and then she almost always accepts it as over. She gets 2 ABCs for a nap and 3 at bedtime. Mostly I just play it by ear. Or if we're out and she's being horrible but I know that nursing will work, I'll do a really fast one to get through the tantrum. At least once a day I want to stop nursing her but then she'll fall or something will happen and it's the only thing that works and I wonder what I'd do without nursing her.
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Old 06-14-2008, 09:53 PM   #5
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Re: Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

It is totally okay to place limits on a 21 month old nursling! Definitely teach nursing manners. I will say that it has been my experience (personally and of many moms I know) that about that age, toddlers like to nurse like newborns. I went through it with Aydin and I had had enough because I actually was nursing a newborn at the same time, too! Anyway, it's a stage and the length of it will vary from kid to kid, but a lot of it is normal.

Don't let him play with your other nipple. Either keep it covered up or hold his hand or something. If he wants to get down while nursing, unlatch him first. Let him know he is free to go play, but that means nursing is over. If you want to actually limit the length of the nursing session, I love singing the ABCs as a previous poster mentioned. For me, I would count from 1 to 5, showing him the appropriate number of fingers (and I counted as slow or as fast as I wanted) and when we got to 5, the nursing session was over. This worked well for us because his sign for "all done" was to hold up all 5 fingers and wave his hand up and down. (Don't really know how he came up with that, but it served its purpose well.) If you want to lengthen the time between nursing sessions, try distraction when he asks to nurse. Play with him (things like play doh where he uses his hands a lot) or offer him snacks (fresh fruit was great because my kids think fruit is a treat.)
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Old 06-14-2008, 10:03 PM   #6
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Re: Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

I agree with teaching nursing manners. You HAVE to put your foot down. If he is playing and not trying to nurse, the session is done.
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Old 06-14-2008, 11:46 PM   #7
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Re: Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

Definitely work on some nursing manners...I learn with each kid. I don't let dd even touch the other side anymore, I think I made her stop around 12-15 months...its been a while (she's 22 months now). I just kept telling her to stop when she would and I'd move her hand away. It took a few days of SCREAMING during nursing sessions and sometimes one or the other of us ending the session, but she got it. She tries every once in a while now to do it...but I remind her "hands on Ele" and she quits. When she nurses to sleep (always nurses to sleep for bed and nap...but I don't mind that), she usually holds a stuffed animal or two.
Also, I like the ABC idea, or sometimes I'll set my cell-phone alarm and tell dd we're all done when it goes off. Otherwise she'd nurse and nurse and nurse and nurse. When she tries to eat more frequently than I'm willing, then I usually try to get her a snack. The other day she kept whining to nurse and so I had my mom feed her some soup and she ate the whole thing in 5 minutes! She had just nursed not long before that...but I think my milk is on the way out with this pg. Sorry, that got rambly, but I think you should definitely set some boundaries.
Right now our difficulty is night-weaning. I'm 11 weeks pregnant and I'm ready to sleep through the night (we co-sleep, but still...) and have her firmly done nursing at night long before the baby comes (we did the same with ds when I was pg with dd...except he only took a week, dd is MUCH more stubborn). We've been half-trying for a few months, but last week I just decided that was it and I was done. So when she would wake up asking to nurse, I'd tell her now and take her potty (she's pl'd completely), and then remind her that "there's no more nigh-nights in bed, we'll have nigh-nights in the morning downstairs". She would cry for a while, and a few nights ended up with her and I downstairs having a battle of wills (one night she won, after 4 hours I gave up and nursed her). She is doing GREAT this week (please God, don't let it change!) and has only been waking up at 5ish in the morning asking, so we potty and talk about them coming in the morning and sometimes she cries for a few minutes and sometimes she just asks for the blanket and goes back to sleep.
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Old 06-15-2008, 02:31 AM   #8
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Re: Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

I agree with pp's also do what's best for you and your son!! You are the only one who can choose that.. if it means weaning him some you have a right to do what's best.

my friend's dd would do those sort of things my kids didn't I just never let them touch my other breast and if they twist or move around I stop nursing.. I hope you're able to find what works best for your nursing relationship!
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Old 06-15-2008, 02:44 AM   #9
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Re: Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

I never let any of my kids get to the other breast EVER, so I can't help you there. But just before 2 I limited his daytime nursing. At home we only nurse in the rocking chair and in bed (before bedtime and no longer during the night). Distraction was key for us during the day. I never liked to say no to nursing so I would offer to do something he really liked - go outside to swing, play trains, and sometimes would offer a snack. I LOVE the abc signing and/or singing. Definitely at 21 months you can set limits and manners. I wouldn't just quite, but slowly take away a feeding a day. DS is 2 now and doesn't even nurse once a day. I do love that he is still nursing some b/c like a pp post said there are moments when there is nothing like nursing to calm them down.

Good luck.
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Old 06-15-2008, 03:58 AM   #10
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Re: Please help me...I don't want to BF anymore

ugh. I got so annoyed with my girls around that age too. more like 18-19 months. and it was too of them. they nursed all the time. and had no manners. it only lasted a few weeks though before thy cut back on their own and eventually self weaned at 23-24 months.

there's some great advice here. if you don't want to quit then try the manners and limits first! no reason a 21 month old can't learn to treat your body nicely.



good luck!
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