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Old 09-27-2006, 03:08 PM   #1
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disobedient child- help!

I'm at my wits end with my 3YO!
He talks back, he doesn't follow directions, he tells me no and does whetevr I told him not to do. Time outs don't work. Talking to him doesn't work. He tells me "I want you to get my milk cup" "go put this in the sink" "No, mommy, you are being naughty!" UGH!
I tell him to say "please" I tell him it's not acceptable for him to talk back and tell me (and daddy) no.

I don't believe in hitting a child... but some days I feel like giving him a spanking!!

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Old 09-27-2006, 04:00 PM   #2
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Re: disobedient child- help!

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Originally Posted by kittykorat
I'm at my wits end with my 3YO!
He talks back, he doesn't follow directions, he tells me no and does whetevr I told him not to do. Time outs don't work. Talking to him doesn't work. He tells me "I want you to get my milk cup" "go put this in the sink" "No, mommy, you are being naughty!" UGH!
I tell him to say "please" I tell him it's not acceptable for him to talk back and tell me (and daddy) no.

I don't believe in hitting a child... but some days I feel like giving him a spanking!!
Welcome to the wonderful world of 3yo's! My kids have all gone through the same thing at that stage. I know how horribly frustrating it is! Torrin is a couple months shy of three and is already starting with the defiant behavior. It makes me crazy! The only thing that has worked for us is not giving them a big reaction (that's their favorite part). If it's not important, ignore it altogether. Another biggie (as far as being disrespectful or rude) is to say "I'm sorry, I can't listen to you when you talk to me that way. Try again." The more like a game it is, the more they are willing to play along. At 3 they are learning just how much power words have, and they love exerting that power! Try to keep the mood light when possible and ignore it other times. Save your correcting for the more serious offenses and then simply say (very firmly) "No. That is not ok. You need to try again." Usually, by the time we get a good system down or some good results, they turn 4 and move on the the next phase of life.
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Old 09-28-2006, 08:30 AM   #3
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Re: disobedient child- help!

i couldve wrote this post- in fact i was just about to.
my son is almost 32 months old and does exactly what you just said. talks back, does what i told him not to do. another thing i cant get a grip on is he is constantly harming his little sister.
he will run up to her and knock her over, she will be laying on the floor playing and he will jump on her. if she is sitting on the couch he will pull her off. I cant get him to understand that he is hurting her, i try to talk to him about it and he thinks its funny. i would love to get him into some kind of playgroup, but im afraid he will act like this. please tell me that part is just a phase too
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Old 09-28-2006, 08:43 AM   #4
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Re: disobedient child- help!

man, my son is still like this and he is 4 1/2

If he talks back to me I just tell him that it is not acceptable and give him a form of punishment, time out, taking a toy away, etc.
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Old 09-28-2006, 09:41 AM   #5
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Re: disobedient child- help!

thanks for the encouraging words. I was starting to feel like an incompetent mamma. He's doing better today.
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Old 09-28-2006, 03:40 PM   #6
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Re: disobedient child- help!

That's miranda.. and she's barely 2 years old! but hers is still funny with every once in awhile being annoying. lol I know it's going to get worse. Ugh. Good luck
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Old 09-28-2006, 03:49 PM   #7
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Re: disobedient child- help!

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Welcome to the wonderful world of 3yo's!
You said it!!! When my first daughter turned 3, my MIL said to me, "Everyone talks about the terrible twos, but us moms know it's the 3s that are the worst!' I decided it was because while at 2 she tested her limits, at 3 she realized that she really didn't HAVE to do what I said, kwim? It was kind of a like a, "Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do about it?" attitude. And that's the question isn't it - what the heck to do it about it?? For us, 4 has been better, although we've sure gone through some rough spots. Hang in there, because:

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Usually, by the time we get a good system down or some good results, they turn 4 and move on the the next phase of life.
You said it again! Just when you think you get it figured out, it changes. Or, happily, if you don't manage to figure it out, it'll still change eventually!
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Old 09-28-2006, 09:26 PM   #8
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Re: disobedient child- help!

My four year old shook her fist at me and growled "don't make me hurt you!"
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