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Old 06-18-2008, 12:31 PM   #11
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

Sorry I didn't answer sooner..but I do. DH works swing shift (3rd shift) and I work first. It helps that I come home for an hour during lunch, but DH has it a lot worse than me. DS is up during the day and DH sleeps maybe 4 hours, if he's lucky. He also has a very long commute (over 100 miles in a day!). When we can, we get my mother to help out, or sometimes DH will go half an hour away to his mother's. To save on gas, this means that I won't see DS until the next day, if I'm lucky. I will go 24 hours without seeing my son sometimes, which is very hard, but I know that DH really needs his sleep and that every little bit helps. It is incredibly difficult and DH is now considering working less days than he already does.

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Old 06-18-2008, 01:07 PM   #12
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

My dh works from 7-3:30 and gets home at 4 pm. We eat dinner and then I go to work from 5-10 pm. We do it this way so we don't have to have anyone else watch the kids. We've been doing it for 5 1/2 years and it's the way we like to do it. I hate working out of the home, but we need the extra money. I only work part-time so I work 4 days out of the week. It gets aggrivating because I have to do all the house work and I don't have enough time to do dishes when I go to work and when I get home they're still piled in the sink. He wonders why I'm cranky all the time. He has at least had the girls clean up their messes before they go to bed and that's helped so much. I did thank him for that. Hoping he'll keep up with it. Then I come home last night and it's a mess. Anyway, I guess you just find a way to make it work. You have to, for your relationship and for the kids. I suppose I don't have any advice, but wanted you to know that you're not alone. It sucks, but sometimes we have to endure the things we don't want to. I hope it all works out for you.
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Old 06-18-2008, 01:59 PM   #13
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

The first 5 years of our Marriage DH worked second shift 3:00-2:00 I worked, and still do 8:30-5:30. Well when oldest DS went to school he went to first shift so he could still spend time with him. Well after DD was born in Feb, they offered a promotion with a huge raise on 2nd shift. We need the money to pay off bills but after that I think he will go back to 1st shift. It is too hard on both of us. He gets no sleep, I get no sleep, and neither of us get anything accomplished.
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Old 06-18-2008, 08:42 PM   #14
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

My brother JUST moved in with us for the summer before he stars school across town (freshman have to live in the dorms) and I have already gotten more done in two days than I usually do in the entire week, just because he's there to hold high-needs dd2 and get dd1 some food every half hour (serious grazer). I don't know what I'm going to do when he leaves, but hopefully I'll be able to get a better job then because I can actually work on my classes now and try to graduate!!!! Four online classes and it's been over a year trying to finish them
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:41 AM   #15
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

We work opposite shifts as of this April. DH has an 8-5 job, I work 3p-3a. If I work 2 days in a row, I don't see him for over 3 days. Thank goodness for cell phones. Lately I've worked a lot of weekends, while getting babysitting set up, so that's made it a lot worse. After this weekend I'll be working every 3rd weekend, so that will give us more time as a family. I don't get a thing done around the house (other than the important stuff, like food, laundry, errands, etc.) and we're still trying to get unpacked from moving. I've thought about having somebody come and clean the house (if I do a few hours of overtime a month it would cover it) but I'm not sure it would help.
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Old 06-19-2008, 06:48 AM   #16
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

We don't now, but we did for 3 years. He worked 7am to 3pm Tue-Sat. and I worked 3:30pm to midnight, Mon-Fri and some Saturdays for overtime.

We only saw each other on Sundays. During the week, we met up in a parking lot in between our two jobs and passed off the little one.

It was exhausting, and really hard. We didn't get time together, we didn't get time all as a family, I almost never slept.... It's not something I would want to go back to. But we absolutely did NOT want to put our son in daycare or have anyone watch him but us.
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Old 06-19-2008, 07:06 AM   #17
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

DH works M-F 8-5 and I was working 12 hour nights 7p-7a on Fri, Sat and Sun. Because of DD I didnt get to sleep friday except during her naps or monday. By the time I was recovered from the weekend it was thursday and time to go back to work the next day. This was making me (and therefore DH) miserable so I cut back to part time and work 4 nights in a row then 10 off. It doesnt always work out perfectly so sometimes I work 2 on and 5 off. My inlaws keep DD on Sunday and Monday nights when I'm working then DH brings her home at lunch so I actually get to sleep.

We are still working on the balance thing. I think DH thinks I'm a SAHM because I'm home during the day, during the week and gets so fussy about me being too tired to keep up with the house and the babe. I also hate switching from being a night person to a day person and am up at all weird hours of the night when I'm not working which makes him nuts.
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:37 AM   #18
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

we do. he works 7-3:30 I work 4:30-12. it's hard and getting harder. we chose to do it this way though because this way we don't need daycare and E always has a parent at home. I'm exhausted though and get almost no help from dh while he is at home. Hopefully the summer will be better (he's off, he's a teacher).

ETA: We see each other about an hour a day. I think he misses me more than I miss him. I just wish he would help more, then he might see more of me! LOL!
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:55 AM   #19
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

Dh is a law enforcement officer and he works 6 days on 2 off. 3 days 3 nights. His schedule changes weekly and daily for that matter. I just try to go with the flow but I do get grouchy because I have to do everything myself. It will never change for us though so I don't really have a choice in the matter Just try to take advantage of the time you are home alone alone and the kids are napping/at grandma's. You don't have to give him attention so give yourself attention. Watch your fav show, get on Ds, take a bath, call some friends....that's the part I like best...the time to myself...leave those dishes and laundry and take care of you


ALSO: I forgot to mention I was a single parent from DS birth so it is really not that much of an adjustment to me, I just still feel like a single parent...but I do see how it would be MUCH harder for mama's who were never is that situation
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:59 AM   #20
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Re: Does Anyone Else Work Opposite Shift of Significant Other?

We did until now. I'm stopping it b/c it isn't working for us. I was working Fri and Sat 7p-7a and he worked a regular day job M-F. I was exhausted all weekend, even though he parented while I slept. I felt like we were separated or divorced. We had the weeknights together, but it wasn't the same. I'm a social person, I want to be together.

Now I'm going back to work during the day M-TH and we'll have 3 day weekends together. He works from home on Fri, so it's kind of like a weekend :P It wasn't worth it to me before. Everyone who does it says they make the sacrifice, but never seem very happy. I'd rather just pay for daycare.

Although, if we have a second, I'll probably cut back to 3 days and get a part time nanny, b/c 2 in regular daycare is so expensive.
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