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Old 06-22-2008, 04:26 PM   #1
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Is This Child Abuse? UPDATE! Kids and Mom Are Out of the House after my Call! Page 6

I try not to throw the word "abuse" around lightly, because I think it undermines the experiences of people who have been seriously abused to throw the term around without much thought. (I'm thinking of women who say that they've been "verbally abused" because their husband once said that they were acting *****y.) So I don't really know if I'm overthinking it or mislabeling it when my gut instinct tells me to call CPS about my neighbor.

Spanking is not illegal in my state, but I think that the way my neighbor does it may be within that realm. He seems to be almost proud of what he does and talks about it very openly... He has a four-year-old daughter who weighs only 25 lbs (CPS has already investigated them once because she was diagnosed with failure to thrive). Frequently, when she cries, he spanks her with a belt, essentially punishing her for being upset and expecting continued mistreatment to solve th problem. I've often seen and heard him saying, "Shut up! Stop crying, or you'll get the belt again!" or some variation of that. He also frequently spanks their one-year-old (not with a belt) and curses at both children.

I know we can certainly all agree that this is very bad parenting, but is it abuse? I don't believe he's hitting her hard enough to cause bruises or anything, but is it abuse if there are no indicators of physical harm?

I know I could be opening up a huge can of worms by calling CPS. Even though it's supposed to be anonymous, I think that he would know it was me, and I wouldn't want to call unless I was fairly certain that something would be done about it.

So, opinions? Is spanking a four-year-old with a belt abuse? Or just very bad parenting?

Bear in mind that I live in Hick-ville, Alabama.

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Old 06-22-2008, 04:29 PM   #2
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? Should I call CPS?

Is there any state that it's still legal to use any object to spank with?


BTW, I'd call.
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:33 PM   #3
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? Should I call CPS?

This would upset me too. I'm so tired of going into stores and other places and hearing moms and dads saying boy if you don't straighten up I'm going to whoop your *** or something along these lines. I'm tired of seeing young moms spanking their lil ones in the middle of a store because the kid is crying, over tired, usually because they are out way past their bedtime. I feel like the only resource some parents have these days is to beat their kids. There are so many other options out there if ppl would just stop doing what their parents did and actually take some classes or something. My kids are very well behaved (most of the time ) and I haven't had to beat them with belts or anything like that. I think it's clearly a sign of bad parenting. I'd probably report too.
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:36 PM   #4
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? Should I call CPS?

Call. Please. In most states, hitting with anything other than an open hand is physical abuse. Or, at least it opens the case file.

This is wrong. You know it's wrong. Don't let it continue - evil triumphs when good men do nothing.
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:37 PM   #5
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? Should I call CPS?

Honestly, I don't know if CPS here would do ANYTHING about it if she isn't being abused to the point of leaving marks. I agree that at the very least he HORRIBLY psychologically damaging the girl, but I don't think calling CPS would do anything but make him more angry and cause him to take it out on you. BTW, what part of the state are you in? I have never heard of it!
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:38 PM   #6
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? Should I call CPS?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
Call. Please. In most states, hitting with anything other than an open hand is physical abuse. Or, at least it opens the case file.

This is wrong. You know it's wrong. Don't let it continue - evil triumphs when good men do nothing.
I really don't think it would here. Our CPS system isn't the best.
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:39 PM   #7
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? Should I call CPS?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
Call. Please. In most states, hitting with anything other than an open hand is physical abuse. Or, at least it opens the case file.

This is wrong. You know it's wrong. Don't let it continue - evil triumphs when good men do nothing.
I would call. Poor kids
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:43 PM   #8
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? Should I call CPS?

Hmm. I didn't know that it was illegal to hit with an object. I'll look that up and see if that's the case here in Dixie. (Looking it up now...)

Bama: Ulibahali was the name of Gadsden before it was Gadsden. It was the center of a very well-organized and federalized Creek nation. I call Gadsden Ulibahali to reclaim it. Probably sort of silly because it usually just succeeds in confusing people, but I feel a need to go against the grain in spite of that. Gadsden's on Lookout Mountain in the Northeastern part of the state, btw.
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:45 PM   #9
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? Should I call CPS?

Also: what really concerns me is that the only thing worse than Alabama's CPS system is its foster care system, so I wouldn't want to do anything that could have the children placed there unless it was absolutely necessary.
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:46 PM   #10
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? Should I call CPS?

Okay, I know were Gadsden is. I'm curious to see if hitting with an object is illegal. Hitting with a paddle was still allowed in our schools until a few years ago!
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