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Old 06-24-2008, 06:24 PM   #91
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? UPDATE! Kids and Mom Are Out of the House after my Call! Pag

WOW! I am praying that she does not go back to him. Praying for her to find strength within to keep herself & her children safe. Great Job, mama!


Jen, homeschoolin', Christ-following mama to 5 boys (11, 9, 5, 3, 10 months) and 1 girl (6)!!
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Old 06-24-2008, 07:05 PM   #92
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Re: Is This Child Abuse? UPDATE! Kids and Mom Are Out of the House after my Call! Pag

Originally Posted by MommaBunny View Post
The CPS investigator asked if I wanted to voluntarily "out" myself, but made it clear that I didn't have to. I did it because I was worried she didn't have anyone else. She said that some CPS centers have funds for hotel rooms for mothers to go to in cases like this, but that's not available in our town. I didn't have to get involved personally, I just chose to anyway.

I called her at her mother's house today for updates. She says the husband still has no idea it was me, she tells me he's running with the idea that it's her mother who called (and her mother's okay with that), but she's out of there and that's what counts. He's not in jail right now, but the nebulous "they" are keeping a close eye on him, and I think that they're thinking about getting a divorce case going soon. When I talked to her today, she said that she's thinking about going back to him because he's been calling her crying saying that he loves her and misses her and that he "promises" he'll be better. She's a really sweet, sympathetic woman and it's sad because she really does love her husband in spite of everything, and I think that's a big part of why she stuck with him for so long. I told her that, IMO, it's not worth the risk of trying to go back to see if it gets better.

CPS isn't allowing the children near him and said that, because the mother's an adult, she can go back, but the kids would have to stay with their grandmother or in government custody. I don't think she wants that, so I think that her obligation to her children is keeping her where she needs to be!

I'm not too worried about my family's safety because the guy doesn't know it was us, but we've got our eyes pealed and we're being careful. He may end up incarcerated soon enough anyway if they can get a definitive child-abuse case going. AND we'll actually be moving out of the neighborhood relatively soon because we can't afford our rent.
Please, please, very careful. I was in a similar situation years ago when I helped a friend's sister leave a horrible abusive situation (I rented the truck and she & I had her & the kids loaded & out in 2 hours while he was at work)...a few months later, she was taking him back and persuading CPS to drop the charges against him--I was shocked that they did, and once the 2 of them were back together, my family & I (who lived a half mile down the road @ the time) became public enemy #1. She basically told him (or they told each other) that I was the root of their problems (for the record, she called me from her sisters and asked me to help her move that day). I pray that doesn't happen in this situation, I really think you did the right thing, and may have even saved a life or lives, but please just be careful. (((hugs)))
Proud single mama to 4 girls--Hayley (9/18/94), Megan (7/14/99), Kateri (7/14/02), and Indy (8/6/08)
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