Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-25-2008, 10:12 PM   #11
looking8186's Avatar
looking8186
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 2,829
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

for both you and your new lo.... Just try to give her time and introduce her to them slowly... Also, here's a link to great foster support forums! http://forums.adoption.com/foster-parent-support/ Congrats on your first placement I remember how exciting it was (I do foster care also, but I'm not planning to adopt)

Advertisement

__________________
Happy to be mama to my sweet little home birthed, breastfed, extended rear facing, co-sleeping, cloth diapered, snuggled and loved baby girl Havana Desai 5-18-09
Blessed to be mama to my little Angel Teya Mackenzie born into heaven on 3-27-08
looking8186 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-25-2008, 10:15 PM   #12
Ontariomama
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,766
My Mood:
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

MOST of our fks have been much closer to me than to dh --- one so much so that he would panic and push dh away if he came near me!!

Tell dh and ds to do the same thing that little ones do with each other all the time. Get on the floor "near" but not too close to her and sort of play the same things. You know how little ones play beside, but not with, each other - that sort of thing. Just don't force it.

GL, it gets better. It takes about 2-3 weeks to get into a comfortable routine; usually a bit longer once they're not babies.
__________________
to my soldier since 1998!
Ontariomama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-03-2008, 11:13 AM   #13
jewelzbird's Avatar
jewelzbird
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 2,182
My Mood:
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

role play with dolls where the dad and brother are nice to the little girl?? i am sure you are modeling healthy and loving relating with your men (hugs, smiles standing close to them)...I would look in to counseling!!Poor sweetie!
__________________
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is watching"
jewelzbird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-20-2008, 07:15 PM   #14
kettle's Avatar
kettle
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mokpo, South Korea
Posts: 1,414
My Mood:
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

I asked my dad (he's a therapist) and he said one big thing is to get your husband and son to speak in low voices and sit at floor level when they're in the room with her. This makes them seem smaller and less threatening.

Best of luck!
__________________
Married to David the love muffin, humanist mother to Captain Tiny, 3/08, school teacher extraordinaire. "Teacher, can we give you the clap and cheer?"
kettle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-24-2008, 10:14 AM   #15
CorynnandReisMom
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 121
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

Like someone else said, I'd encourage him to still talk to her, offer to play with her, invite her to play from a distance. Even if she doesn't look at him or respond to him, she will start to realize that he isn't going to hurt her or scare her. He needs to find the strength to push thru this barrier as much as the little girl, because repeated rejection by her may hurt him, kwim?

Good luck... poor little thing
__________________
All things baby shower. . . http://www.babyshowerdiapercakesandmore.com, PUL fabric info, suggestions welcome: http://pulfabric.blogspot.com, clean water for baby http://www.homewaterfiltersystemtobuy.com
CorynnandReisMom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-30-2008, 07:50 PM   #16
k9wife
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 13
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

have him sit on the floor and play something that little girls would like dolls, barbie, animals anything toy wise just by himself not making any contact but sound and showing that he is really having fun and see if she will join in.
k9wife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 09:31 PM   #17
2boysmama's Avatar
2boysmama
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,928
My Mood:
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

Does she like to color or do play-doh? Maybe you could all gather at the table and do these types of things and she will get used to being near them but be busy too. She will have the table between them and they will be at her level since all of you will be at the table. Then he can compliment her work and show her his, maybe they can do some coloring on the same page and you can hang that up so she sees it a lot. I can't imagine how your dh must feel, good luck mama!
__________________
LesLee wife to Andy 8.2.02 SAHM to Evan 1.13.05 and Ryan 4.4.07 and Colt 4.26.11 and Anderson
on 1/3/14 and angel baby 2/14/15-6/11/15

In with Jesus for over 20 years!
2boysmama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 10:54 PM   #18
Candace111
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 1
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

We adopted 2 foster children. DS was 2yrs and 3months when we got him. Now 7. Took 3 years to finally adopt him. Please let your girl have some room to get comfortable. Let her see peaceful interactions and she will gain trust.

Your DH and DS may want to try doing something she likes.... coloring???? Maybe when she sees something that she is interested in that they are doing, she will be so curious and forget the shyness.

I would have them keep some gummies on them and let her come and get them from them only. Not from you.....

Prayers to you!

Candace
Candace111 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-14-2008, 11:41 PM   #19
luvmykiddoes's Avatar
luvmykiddoes
COOP HOSTESS
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Yukon, OK
Posts: 9,271
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

This happened with us several times. You have to take it slow and don't force her to "like" them. She needs time to get to know them. Make sure she sees Dad and siblings playing together. When they talk to her, get down on her level and use quiet voices rather than loud. Also, let her see you interacting and playing with Dad and siblings. It will help her feel that you are comfortable with them so maybe she can be as well. Another thing I would suggest is get her into counseling. She is going through a lot that she does not understand. The counselors can help her work through any issues she may have through play etc... It should be covered by her medical care through the state. Good luck to you!
__________________
Hi, I'm Heather
Single Mom to Tabitha- 14, Caleb- 10, Abigail- 6, Lily Kate- 4, and Asher- 2

luvmykiddoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2008, 05:49 PM   #20
bluechicken
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 393
My Mood:
Re: suggestions? Little girl afraid of DH

When my cousins kids (ages 2, 3, and 3) came to live with my parents they were okay with both mom and dad . . . until dad grew a beard. Then they would have nothing to do with him and would refuse to go to him or let him pick them up. They would seem so horrified that if they were in your lap and he came over they were practically climb up you to get away. It was funny and sad too. Dad eventually had to shave even though it was winter and he works outside.
bluechicken is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.