I'm losing my job and have to fire my nanny today

[mom2mybumpy]

I actually hate my job. Despise it. So I'm not unhappy to be going. It's a family business I never wanted to be a part of, but have been for the past 10 months. Over the weekend we made a decision to discontinue my particular position, except for a few hours a week, which I will work from home until I find something else. That's another whole issue. But that means that today when I get home, I have to give my nanny notice that she's out of a job, too, as of the end of next week.

I'm dreading it, one because I've never had to fire anyone before. But more of a concern is that I feel like I have to let her know asap to be fair to her, but she'll still have all 3 of my kids for another 5 workdays before she goes. I don't think she's the type to retaliate, especially since we're not parting because of trouble between us. But still. No one does their best work when they've got one foot out the door. Can anyone offer any tips for what to say to her, and how to handle things from here on out? Any concerns I should consider? Thanks.

[togg_mama]

You're not firing. You're laying her off.

How quickly will you be able to find a new job? Is there any way you can keep her on until your new job starts.

As for what to tell her, just be honest. Your job is being cut and you don't have the money to continue paying her. Offer to write her a nice reference letter and to let her use your name for a reference call. Also, if there is any way you can pay her for an extra week beyond what your contract requires that would be a nice gesture as well.

[mom2mybumpy]

Originally Posted by togg_mama You're not firing. You're laying her off. How quickly will you be able to find a new job? Is there any way you can keep her on until your new job starts. As for what to tell her, just be honest. Your job is being cut and you don't have the money to continue paying her. Offer to write her a nice reference letter and to let her use your name for a reference call. Also, if there is any way you can pay her for an extra week beyond what your contract requires that would be a nice gesture as well.

Well, here's the deal. I said that she's not leaving because of any trouble between us, which is true. She is leaving at this time because I'm losing my job. But were I keeping my job, she'd be leaving soon anyway. We haven't been happy with her for months. We haven't been having conflict, just dissatisfaction. Feeling like it's just not a good fit, no matter what we try. I'd been unable to find an acceptable replacement thus far - now I don't need to, for now.

But I don't know that I could honestly write her a good reference because my experience with her has been mediocre at best, bad at times. And as for paying her for another week, I agree that would be a nice gesture. But I just paid her for 2 weeks while we were out of town (this is our first workday back) and she didn't work a minute of any of it. So I think that's more than generous, and it's more than I can do to pay her any more now that I'm not going to have income either.

I don't know how soon I'll be getting another job. We have a lot of other issues going on - FIL has terminal cancer and isn't doing well, etc. and we're just kind of taking a step back to breathe right now. Ugh.

[togg_mama]

Ugh. I see why it's sticky. I would just tell her that you're very sorry, but you're job has been cut and you are going to stay home with your kids for a bit. ((hugs))

[ChocolateMoose]

I agree...just tell her your job has been cut and you can't afford to keep her longer than a week.

The less said, the better.

[Manna00]

Originally Posted by ChocolateMoose I agree...just tell her your job has been cut and you can't afford to keep her longer than a week. The less said, the better.

DH is ALWAYS telling me this "less said the better". I tend to want to tell the whole story to explain the situation---when it's not ALWAYS neccessary. Go with your gut.

[mom2mybumpy]

Thanks, that's what I needed to hear. DH wanted to word it in a way to sort of keep the door open for the future in case we needed her soon, but that makes no sense to me b/c I've been looking for months for another alternative anyway. To me, leaving a door open as if we may need her again in the next few months is like breaking up and saying you still want to be friends. It's a little cowardly when you don't really mean it. Wish me luck, and thanks for the hugs.

[Jenney17]

I am sorry for your situation. As a former Nanny though, I have to say, giving less than 2 weeks notice is really bad form. It may be legal but not kosher. I always gave at least 6 weeks notice when I was leaving a job because I know how hard hiring a Nanny can be.

Just my . I hope it goes well for you.

[mom2mybumpy]

Originally Posted by Jenney17 I am sorry for your situation. As a former Nanny though, I have to say, giving less than 2 weeks notice is really bad form. It may be legal but not kosher. I always gave at least 6 weeks notice when I was leaving a job because I know how hard hiring a Nanny can be. Just my . I hope it goes well for you.

I totally get that. I didn't have more than 2 weeks notice myself, though. Telling her today represents the closest I can get to 2 weeks. It's the best I can do.

[JDT]

I agree with whoever said the less said the better.

Just tell her the current situation and leave it at that. For now don't worry about future references, etc. Even though you have not been satisfied with her full time performance I would not mention it. She may work well for a time to time or date night babysitter.

Give her the facts and let it go. Plus, my 10 year old is better than nanny cam. If our nanny does ANYTHING off he calls me immediately! Trust that things will be fine for the last week. That's pretty much all you can do at this point.