Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-08-2008, 12:38 PM   #1
keonli's Avatar
keonli
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Real city, Family Guy state
Posts: 15,863
My Mood:
Do you get sad?

When you think about how much you're missing out with your LO because you work? I always tell myself that I'm doing a great job helping to support my family and that my son will grow up knowing that a mother can be a mother even with a career. I am there for him physically, emotionally and mentally, no matter what, but some days it's hard.

I work right next door to the public library and during my lunch breaks, the library has its summer programs outside. I see a bunch of happy children with their mommies laughing and smiling and I feel bad that my son won't be a part of that. Yesterday's event looked like so much fun, with a kiddie band and a person in costume as the Very Hungry Caterpillar!

So what do you do to help you cope with such moments?

Advertisement

keonli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2008, 12:53 PM   #2
JDT
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,234
My Mood:
Re: Do you get sad?

Whenever you make a choice you give something up. you can't do everything, be everywhere at all times. I say give yourself a break.

I only get sad when my kids have an event. My son's school had a moving up ceremony. My son was not moving up, but I still wanted to attend. Since me other son was actually moving up the next day, I opted to skip DS2's ceremony. I felt badly about it. He, ironically, didn't seem to notice.

RE: coping
I tell myself "life is long" there are many events that I DO attend with my children. And my make the time count when i'm there.

Last edited by JDT; 07-08-2008 at 12:54 PM. Reason: add
JDT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2008, 01:12 PM   #3
Mindi's Avatar
Mindi
Its a Mindi thing... you wouldn't understand
sitesupporter
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: With my love
Posts: 13,299
My Mood:
Re: Do you get sad?

I get sad every night that I have to go to work. I work night shift and I miss so much with my kids. I get texts about what they are doing and the worries my 15 year old has and what the little boys are doing and they just got their baths or my dd's friends just left. Anything and everything. And then I have to sleep the next day b/c of being up all night. I hate missing out on almost everything that they do. I feel like they don't even know their mamma half the time. I tell myself repeatly that I'm the reason they have food. I'm the reason they have a roof over their head. I'm the reason they have clothing on their backs. It doesn't make missing them any easier but its my way of coping with the issue of not being able to be with them as much as possible. And now I'm looking at possibly getting a second job so I will be seeing them even less. But they will grow up knowing that their mom did all she could to make sure they had what they needed.
__________________
Mindi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2008, 01:51 PM   #4
keonli's Avatar
keonli
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Real city, Family Guy state
Posts: 15,863
My Mood:
Re: Do you get sad?

I guess I just never realized how difficult it is to be a working mom. My mother was a single mom for a few years and she worked 2-3 jobs. Looking back, I never felt like she wasn't there, because she was there for me when I needed her most.
keonli is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2008, 02:06 PM   #5
frogandtoad's Avatar
frogandtoad
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: SE Washington
Posts: 2,204
My Mood:
Re: Do you get sad?

Quote:
Originally Posted by keonli View Post
I guess I just never realized how difficult it is to be a working mom. My mother was a single mom for a few years and she worked 2-3 jobs. Looking back, I never felt like she wasn't there, because she was there for me when I needed her most.


Your mom sounds lovely. I say send her a card.

My mom worked too ... There are some things I wish my parents had done differently (and they probably do too). But, you only get one shot -- you do the best you can. Kids going hungry is not really an option.

"I'll do my best. That's the best I can do!" - from Roly Poly Oly
__________________
~Señora Susan~ woh-mompreneur
SPANISH links SPANISH Bookstore
All Boy, All the Time! L 02.09 | E 05.07 | I 07.03 | N 09.99
There are only two lasting bequests we hope to give our children; one is roots, the other wings.
frogandtoad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2008, 02:45 PM   #6
JDT
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,234
My Mood:
Re: Do you get sad?

There's so much to be said for quality time. I was home for 3 years. The quality of time that my kids get now is better than when I was home.

At home I was stressed and disorganized. I felt like "I can see them anytime" and so I took our time together for granted. Now that I work - the time that I do spend with them is precious to all of us.
JDT is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2008, 09:26 PM   #7
rilmbmom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 87
Re: Do you get sad?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JDT View Post
There's so much to be said for quality time. I was home for 3 years. The quality of time that my kids get now is better than when I was home.

At home I was stressed and disorganized. I felt like "I can see them anytime" and so I took our time together for granted. Now that I work - the time that I do spend with them is precious to all of us.
I feel the same way. My dd is only 9 months and I went back to work after 3 months. I feel that the time I am home is so precious that I try to give her as much time as I can in the evening and on weekends. If is difficult each day (especially finding quality daycare) but I know that working is what is best for my family right now. Hopefully, I will be able to stay home in the future.
rilmbmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-08-2008, 09:33 PM   #8
Ali's Avatar
Ali
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 3,322
My Mood:
Re: Do you get sad?

It is so hard. I feel badly when I get home and my kids are so excited to see me. They just run up to me and give me hugs... I hear mommy's home. Its a great welcome home but makes me sad that I missed the entire day with them. But the weekends and nighttime routines are mine. I snuggle, read them books and do the baths. And do my best to spend one alone day w/ each boy every month.

Sometimes i wonder though if I would appreciate them as much if I was a SAHM...
__________________
Ali, Loving Wife to Bill and Mom to Keegan (7) and Brodin (3 1/2) and baby Finn!!!

Ali is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2008, 07:10 PM   #9
joy7s's Avatar
joy7s
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,156
My Mood:
Re: Do you get sad?

I am so with all of you!! Honestly I do like working but wish I worked a LOT less.. and I have no idea how I'm going to handle it with three children.. two is difficult. Last year when my youngest was 9-12 months I worked ft and left a screaming baby every day.. it ripped my heart out..
__________________
Spring Joy Jesus following,cding, extended bfing,tandem nursing (again!) , homeschooling, mama milk donating, semi crunchy and green mama. Unemployed ped RN married to my one and only n asl Terp since 2/16/00
my three princesses: a (6/26/04) s (9/15/06) and Z (8/5/08)
and little man Z (11/12/10)
joy7s is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2008, 09:44 PM   #10
whalvo's Avatar
whalvo
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bay area, CA
Posts: 1,767
My Mood:
Re: Do you get sad?

My biggest sad moment is when dd is having so much fun at daycare that she doesn't want to get in the car to come home. It doesn't happen often but when it does it tears me apart. It's just as bad as when she cries when I leave her at daycare (though I know she's fine 3 minutes later).
__________________
WHIT,
Wife to Todd, Mommy to Marin (11.22.06) and Anja (11.26.08)
whalvo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright © 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.