Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-10-2008, 01:40 PM   #1
shutterbugmom's Avatar
shutterbugmom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Kansas
Posts: 7,288
My Mood:
Angry I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

and this might sound 'judgemental'.. But you know what? I don't care I have got to vent a little!

My lo's and I were at the mall today--I like to let the kids romp around in the play area when it's really hot out. (and I usually end up handing out a couple business cards--woot!)

There was a 16 month old baby there. The mamma kept on 'screaming' at her to 'Get down!!" "You listen to me!!" YOU go down the slide the RIGHT way!!" Among other things. Like the whole time! I hated that my kids had to listen to it, that I had to listen to it, and most of all I wonder what percentage of that little girls day she is yelled at.

Anyway, we leave after a bit, and are walking out to the van, when a cute little family, with a boy I imagine no more than two or three, walks past. The boy stops and stares at my kiddos as we walk by, like children do. I smile at him, and no sooner than that, the dad 'pops' him on the cheek and says 'lets go!' I just felt sick to my stomach.

It just seems like children are such 'burdens' to some people. I hate it. All they want is our love. They are so innocent...and did not choose to be born or 'cramp your style.'

I grew up in a very toxic environment, so maybe this just hit a nerve. Anyway--thanks for reading if you made it this far. I guess I just had to let it out somewhere.

Advertisement

__________________
Sarah , bio and adoptive mom to five great kiddos! Selling off my stash, take a look! xo
My work -----> www.joyfulphoto.com <-----My work

Last edited by shutterbugmom; 07-10-2008 at 01:44 PM.
shutterbugmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 01:43 PM   #2
MatildasMum
Registered
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 23,896
My Mood:
Re: I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

That makes me sick to my stomach.

My child is WILD and yes - it's embarrassing often - but I will NEVER lay a hand on her or scream at her. She is a BABY.
MatildasMum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 01:44 PM   #3
Only's Avatar
Only
Registered Users
Formerly: hu**rees
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,971
Re: I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

I see the same incidents you described often, unfortunately.

Sometimes I just want to slap the parent and ask them what in the world are they thinking!
__________________
"You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart;
that will take your life and light it up or destroy it.
Then, you become a mother."

Austen 06/12
Only is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 01:49 PM   #4
sarahrichardson's Avatar
sarahrichardson
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,273
Re: I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

I agree. My sister is kind of hard on my nephew (18 mos) and I have to be very careful not to start a mommy/sister war. I've resolved myself to the fact that I can't change her. I can only set an example. It does break my heart, but I remind myself that she has other good mommy qualities - like she plays with him endlessly, lets him spend lots of time with family even when it is hard for her, etc. But it's still hard to watch.
__________________
Wife to BJ 7 years BF, delayed/selective vax'ing, crunchy, teaching, Mommy to Anne Claire (7.16.08) and Julie (1.15.10)
sarahrichardson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 01:50 PM   #5
naivete's Avatar
naivete
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 4,037
My Mood:
Re: I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

I was at the mall the other day and I saw a girl with a boy in a stroller, about 3-4 years old, and she was wailing on him, like hitting his arm about 5-6 times and yelling. I stopped and said really loudly "wow, you really shouldn't hit your kids" and she ducked into radioshack, but it made me pretty sad to see. the poor boy was cowering into his stroller
__________________
indigenist, intactivist, lactivist vegetarian supermama to Trey, 10/03 and Theo, 09/07.
IDesperateSO Personal Enlightenment and a Full Bank Account - Don't sell to me!
naivete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 01:51 PM   #6
harvestsmommy's Avatar
harvestsmommy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Bakersfield, CA
Posts: 708
My Mood:
Re: I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

I try not to go over board, but my kids will tell you as quick as I will they don't listen til I yell. I told my 4 yr old 4-5 times something to do the other day. She finally turned around and said " I'm not going to do it til you yell" So, I do try often but it seemed like a waste of time at my house to be calm while instructing. But that's my house I totally respect and wish that my home could be run the way you stated but all homes cannot be the same way. We all parent differently. That is what gives this world the flavor it has. Good and bad it is flavor.
__________________
happy to be married to Dustin 9/21/02 mom to Gabriel 4/7/98 reagan 10/26/03 Harvest 9/2/05 cry: : and Liberty 4/22/07. And coming in January baby #5, It's a girl!! WAHM making leggies, burp cloths, receiving blankets.
harvestsmommy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 01:52 PM   #7
Guardandolaluna's Avatar
Guardandolaluna
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: El Paso, TX
Posts: 3,312
My Mood:
Re: I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

I hate to see that too I don't see it as judgemental. If only all people saw that!
__________________
Kristi - Wife to Claudio and homeschooling SAHM to 4kids



Guardandolaluna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 01:52 PM   #8
shutterbugmom's Avatar
shutterbugmom
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Kansas
Posts: 7,288
My Mood:
Re: I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

Quote:
Originally Posted by harvestsmommy View Post
That is what gives this world the flavor it has. Good and bad it is flavor.
Yes but at what cost??
__________________
Sarah , bio and adoptive mom to five great kiddos! Selling off my stash, take a look! xo
My work -----> www.joyfulphoto.com <-----My work
shutterbugmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 01:53 PM   #9
delicatefade's Avatar
delicatefade
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,124
My Mood:
Re: I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

I feel the same way, yet I find myself raising my voice far too often. I am a very impatient person, and I admit I can be very short with my kids. Any idea on how I can change, because I'm sick of it.
__________________
Stacey ~ Wife to Keith (26/07/2003)
SAHM to Rowan (20/07/2005), Bria (30/07/2007), & Emery (19/02/2010)
*My Blog*

Holland Grace is here! (14/4/2013)
delicatefade is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-10-2008, 01:55 PM   #10
Ashleybelle's Avatar
Ashleybelle
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,821
My Mood:
Re: I hate mommy wars just as much as the next guy...

I don't think you were out of line wit your post, and honestly it makes me feel bad when I see these situations too

But I have to chime in... I'm sure you and anybody else with children knows how taxing emotionally/physically/ and every other way little ones can be on occasion. When I'm at my best as a mommy, I feel like I did well handling it all. I will stay calm, rational, remove the child from the bad situation and put them in a good one without yelling..etc..Give lots of hugs and go the extra mile to spend time doing all out fun things with them because those cute/baby years go by so quickly!

At my worst, I am ussually exhausted from nursing all day/night, and dealing with two very rambunctious boys who are constantly fighting over toys or getting into trouble; everything wears on me more. On days like this, nothing seems to get done around the house, and the boys seem to have pushed every last "mommy button" I have in my being.

One particular day comes to mind, when I took all three of my little ones to the park. I had the baby in her ring sling, snuggled with me. The 24 month old was playing, pretty contentedly, and the four year old was climbing and being his ussual energetic self. Then..it was time to head home because the baby was starting to get hunger, and the wind was picking up, making it a bit more chilly than ussual. We live about a block from the playground, so we always just walk there and back.
Well...at this point...the 24 month old decided he would try to kick and scream and throw a tantrum that it was time to go. The baby was crying in her sling because she was starting to feel chilly. The four year old climbed to the top of the slide/jungle gym where I couldn't reach him and told me he wasn't going to move!
Now...like I said I'm ussually a patient, loving mama (or I try to be!) but I felt so helpless! I wished so much that my DH could have been there to help me, but I was alone and had no way of getting this kid down from that jungle gym. The tantrum/screaming was putting me on end with the baby crying....And I almost lost it. I really did yell at my four year old "COME DOWN NOW, get down here! We have to go home! You get down RIGHT NOW! etc..." and I must have sounded much like the mom you described in your post.
When my four year old finally did come down..he RAN away from me...INTO The road despite my running after him (holding a newborn, and dragging a 2 year old by the hand), and my yelling NO! DANGER GET BACK!!! He ran into the road, and zigg zagged all the way down it until he got to our house. Then he ran inside and hid just before I got in the door.

Yeah..he was in trouble. Yes, he got a spank, time out, dinner by himself away from the family dinner table, and sent to bed early.
Was I a bad mama? He got the message, and never did it again..but yeah, I had to yell, and I had to maintain that Mommy means buisiness.

Sorry that was so long, but it hit a chord with me when you said you were upset with the mama for basically saying all the things I said to my son that day = \
__________________
Home schooling mommy to 5, Cloth diapering, babywearing, catholic, and wife to my wonderful computer programming hubby
Ashleybelle is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.