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Old 07-10-2008, 11:36 PM   #1
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Unhappy Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

So here's the deal. I'm pg with baby #5 and we're pretty sure from an u/s that it's a boy. (We have another one planned next Thursday so I guess we'll see for sure). The whole circ'ing issue has come up again....I don't know what to do.

I had ds1 when I was young and when I had him I was told that circ'ing was just something you did when you had a little boy. So I did. Then I had a little girl, and then another little boy. Still, I didn't even know NOT circ'ing was an option until it was too late. I'd always been told it's what you're supposed to do.

Of course now I've done more research on the subject. People in my family say that if I've done 2 boys why would I even consider not doing the 3rd? I just feel like if I regret the first two how is doing it a 3rd time going to make things any better?

Will it be unfair to circ two boys and not one? Will there be issues/questions/animosity between brothers?? I'm just so confused and don't know what to do.

It's such a permanent thing and I don't want to make a mistake. Any advice or experiences would be greatly appreciated.

ETA:There's also another reason I don't think I want to circ this baby that has to do with my oldest DS and a circ'ing issue from when it was done to him. It's still an issue to this day and I don't want to run that risk again...

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Old 07-11-2008, 12:08 AM   #2
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Re: Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

DS1 is circed...DS2 is not. I got all the same crap from my fam. I totally wish I would not have done it to DS1. But you answered your own question...
It is a PERMANENT thing. If you don't circ him, and he chooses he wants it done, he can get it done himself. He can't take it away if you have it done for him, ya know?
I'm VERY happy with the decision I made not to circ my second. He's never had shots either, and it makes me happy knowing my little munchkin has never been poked or cut. He's way too little to have to endure that, and I wish I would have had more knowledge when I was pregnant with my first.
If you EVER need someone to talk to, or need advice on anything, feel free to pm me. I have no one IRL to talk these matters with, and I love talking with people that share interests, or at least have open minds and are into having good discussions!
Good luck with your decision mama; you'll make the right one when YOU know what is right for YOUR baby.
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Old 07-11-2008, 01:29 AM   #3
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Re: Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

Sounds like you already know what you want to do. Trust your mama instincts

Hugs!
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Old 07-11-2008, 01:36 AM   #4
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Re: Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

I have two of each. I decided there was no reason to do something I now knew to be wrong just because I'd done it before.

None of the kids has noticed anything, but if they do, we'll be honest. Like you, we thought it was what you did.

I agree w/pp, you already know the answer.
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Old 07-11-2008, 04:18 AM   #5
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Re: Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

I have 3 that are and one that wont be. In the past 4 yrs I have become so much more educated about alot of things. With my other 3 ( 2 from 1st marriage and 1 w/ dh) I allowed their dad to make the decission because I was of the mind that they knew best because the had a penis. I know better now. DH agrees with my research. My teen boys dont they are really mad about it. EVEN though they will tell you its taboo to "look" at another boys penis in the bath room or shower. They actaully told DH to MAKE me circ this baby. He looked at my 16 & 13 yr olds and said.... You think I can MAKE your mom do or not do anything she has her mind set on...

So I will have 3 circ'd 1 not.
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Old 07-11-2008, 09:04 AM   #6
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Re: Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

My opinion is when you know better you should do better. Kids have to understand that we all make mistakes. I didn't have my older children extended rear-facing. Now that I know it's safer that's what we do. If they ask about it we tell them we didn't know then that it was safer but now we do so we changed what we did. We've made a lot of changes in our lifestyle from using reusable grocery bags instead of plastic to cloth diapering to recycling. Obviously circumcision is a thing that more dramatically impacts the children who have had it done to them but now you know better so you should not make the same mistake a 3rd time.
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Old 07-11-2008, 09:58 AM   #7
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Re: Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

When you know better you do better. You now know the truth, that is the difference. Circumcision is cosmetic surgery that has major complications. Your ds's are not going to compare penis's, and when the other two are old enough you can tell the the truth. You can give them info on restoring, and possibly to sue the doctor that did this to them, as you obviously did not give INFORMED consent. You know the truth, and it sounds like you know the answer. If you want some info for family or anything please let me know.
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Old 07-11-2008, 10:29 AM   #8
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Re: Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

In my family Dh, Ds#1 and #2 are and Adam is intact!!!! Ds1 and two are envious of Adam i did not have the information i needed when i had the two older boys 20 and 17 years ago. I am so happy with my choice and so is dh. Neither of my other boys are planning on circing their sons It has started something good!!!!!!
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Old 07-11-2008, 09:49 PM   #9
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Re: Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

Thank you so much mamas. I think you're right...I do know the answer.

My 10 yo ds has an appointment with a ped next Friday so we can get him a urology referral. I am 100% positive this is a result of circumcision and am so upset. I can't go back and change it but doggone it if I knew then what I know now....kwim?

It's horrible and I'm so mad at myself for doing it. If I could only go back!
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Old 07-11-2008, 10:54 PM   #10
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Re: Circ'ing questions. One ds but not the other?? Advice please!

Don't beat yourself up momma! You did what you thought best at the time (with your elder two), and now you are still doing what you think is best, even though you are better informed and are making a different decision!

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