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Old 07-15-2008, 09:34 AM   #1
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Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

My 2 yr old just started to sleep thru the night but I also have a 4 month old. I am so sleep deprived and don't know what to do. Last night she was up from midnight - 3 am. And the night previous she was up from 3am-6am. I have work in the morning and just don't know what to do.

I've tried co-sleeping, CIO in her own room/crib (which disturbs older son), nursing to sleep - anything, just anything to get her to go back to sleep. We try to put her down around 6 or 7 and she just takes a quick nap and wakes up again btwn 9-midnight and doesn't want to go back to sleep. At midnight-3 she refuses to go back to sleep but wants to babble and play. I'm so exhausted.

Suggestions mamma?

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Old 07-15-2008, 09:41 AM   #2
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Re: Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

What is DH doing when you're up with the baby?

I am 100% emotionally unstable without sleep. So I was VERY clear with him that me not sleeping through the night was not an option. We did shifts with baby #2 & 3. I would go to bed at 8pm. Any crying between 8pm-2am was his responsibility. Anything from 2am-8am was on me. That worked really well for us.

I don't know what you financial situation looks like, but have you considered hiring a night nurse or a night nanny? Not on a perm basis. Just as a stop gap. Even if it was only 1-2 nights a week it might help you get some sleep and sanity.

PM me if you need tips on hiring a night nurse.

ETA: if you have FSA for childcare it will pay for night help.

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Old 07-15-2008, 10:29 AM   #3
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Re: Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

Our 1 month old also wants to play in the middle of the night - she eats, then looks at me all wide awake and happy. we've been working on teaching her to sleep at night - here's what we do:

first, after dd1 goes to sleep around 9, dd2 nurses and has her fussy spell - we go through it on the couch with the lights dimmed an tv turned down. she's usually asleep and in her basinette or bouncer by 10 or 11.

she wakes up around 3 (yes, that's 5-ish hours of sleep) and we change her, then nurse in bed in the dark - no lights, no tv, and if we talk, it's very low and soft. basically, i want her to learn that when it's dark and quiet it's time to sleep - we keep stimulations down and just try to make night time businesslike and not fun.

she's started just falling back asleep either while nursing or shortly after by cuddling in bed - she'll usually be almost asleep when she finishes nursing but wakes back up when i go to put her in the basinette - when that happens, a cuddle usually gets her all the way to sleep.

we did the same thing w/ dd1 and it worked really well - other than a short spell around 9 months old, dd1 slept decent stretches of time from 4 months on.

good luck!
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Old 07-15-2008, 10:35 AM   #4
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Re: Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

We do not qualify for any government assistance. Certified night nurse cost $200 plus per night!!!! Anyway, I'm not willing to let my NB be looked after by just anyone - it'll take me 2 or more months to do the research and hire someone I feel comfortable with. I'm anal that way when it comes to my children.

My deal w DH is that I take care of NB and he takes care of DS. I nurse so it makes sense that I look after NB - its easier for me to nurse when she is hungry rather than bottle feed. Also I need to save the BM for when I go into the office.
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Old 07-15-2008, 10:35 AM   #5
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Re: Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

wow, sorry to hear this.. idk what to say.. mine slept through the night from 2wks on...only would wake up for a feeding then right back to sleep..as for your 2 yr old not sleeping through the night that's a bit odd, but idk..all kids are different...
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Old 07-15-2008, 10:37 AM   #6
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Re: Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

Honestly, sounds kinda normal to me. Maybe try putting her down a little later? Maybe she is just TOO rested if she naps between 6-7 to 9pm thats a long while, I'd think. Maybe try putting her down at 8 instead and see if that helps?
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Old 07-15-2008, 10:42 AM   #7
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Re: Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

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We do not qualify for any government assistance. Certified night nurse cost $200 plus per night!!!! Anyway, I'm not willing to let my NB be looked after by just anyone - it'll take me 2 or more months to do the research and hire someone I feel comfortable with. I'm anal that way when it comes to my children.

My deal w DH is that I take care of NB and he takes care of DS. I nurse so it makes sense that I look after NB - its easier for me to nurse when she is hungry rather than bottle feed. Also I need to save the BM for when I go into the office.
I understand. My ped suggested that we do something like what KAtherine suggested. It didn't really work for us. Our baby is nearly 9 mos now and sleeps through the night. I tell you I don't know how we got through the early days. Getting the kids on a schedule is KEY.

BTW- FSA is not a gov't program. It's flexible spending acct offered by many employeers to cover child care. NN are not that costly by me.

Good luck!
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Old 07-15-2008, 10:56 AM   #8
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Re: Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

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BTW- FSA is not a gov't program. It's flexible spending acct offered by many employeers to cover child care.
Oh, flex plan - yes I have one. But DCA (dependant care account) maxes out at 8K and we max that out in about 4 months. Its not a real tax saving after that.
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Old 07-15-2008, 12:27 PM   #9
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Re: Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

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Oh, flex plan - yes I have one. But DCA (dependant care account) maxes out at 8K and we max that out in about 4 months. Its not a real tax saving after that.
Gotcha! You get $8K . We only get $5K and i've got 3 kids. It's nice the have the help - I take what I can get!
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Old 07-15-2008, 12:37 PM   #10
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Re: Have newborn - Need Sleep -suggestions please

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Gotcha! You get $8K . We only get $5K and i've got 3 kids. It's nice the have the help - I take what I can get!
do your companies require the full amount be met before taking advantage of getting reimbursed through DSA? Ours does so I don't take advantage of the DSA. I've done the FSA for medical expenses in the past years but since having DS I haven't added it back to my paychecks. for FSA we can get reimbursed right away.

OP I'd just suggest get SO to help out as much as possible. things went so much smoother when DH pitched in for nights. He doesn't do it nearly as much now but we don't have a problem with LO waking up as much either. so it works out for both of us.
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