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Old 10-05-2006, 12:29 PM   #1
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i am a terrible mom

i am so upset. my boys are having so much trouble sleeping...well, it was only jonas but now micah seems to be getting on board. he only wants to sleeep in my arms, or fall completely asleep and then and only then am i able to put him down. i am trying to read and follow the no cry sleep solution, and i have the gist of it- i am supposed to get the baby sleepy and then put him down, and pick him up when he cries and repeat infinity. but i don't have the patience for that. i feel so awful about that, but i jsut don't. and i just hate letting them cry, but i have done it in the past when they were going through similar sleep strikes, and it 'fixed' the problem. but i hate myself for it. i wish i was the kind of person who had infinite time and patience to gently help them fall asleep, but that's not who i am. right now jonas is up there crying, and i am down here crying, and i jsut feel like crap. tell me im not ruining my babies! i kind of feel like it is the lesser of two evils, because when they get to not sleeping i get to not being very nice, and i heard the demon horror movie voice come out of my mouth earlier--directed at my sweet baby--and knew it was time to do something. but i hate it.

thanks for letting my share my misery.

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Old 10-05-2006, 12:39 PM   #2
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Re: i am a terrible mom

if you're a bad mom, then so am i. i let my dd CIO when she was 10 months old and it worked and she is totally fine healthy. and she goes to sleep on her own every night and for naps. it sucked at the time, but if that is what works for your kiddo then thats what works. but if you feel that bad, im sure you can find something else that works for you hang in there mama.
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Old 10-05-2006, 12:46 PM   #3
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Re: i am a terrible mom

me too I am in the CIO club so we can all be bad moms together now my son is 2 and a wonderful sleeper! it does get easyer!!!


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Old 10-05-2006, 01:02 PM   #4
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Re: i am a terrible mom

You're not a terrible Mom at all! You know yourself and you know your kiddos. You can tell when a cry is for something real or just being a little stinker, kwim?

What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. We did employ CIO at times and can attest to it's successfulness for us. Both kiddos sleep wonderfully at night and my older DD is a great napper (still working on DS).

Don't beat yourself up...you know your kids.
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:50 PM   #5
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Re: i am a terrible mom

thanks ladies. i am feeling better now, especially since they both went to sleep the first time we put them down tonight. that hasn't happened in a while.

i hope i didn't offend anyone--i wasn't implying that moms who use cio were bad, just that i didn't feel good about doing it. we each have to do what is best for our own families, and i certainly don't think less of anyone who does cio. just feeling frustrated is all. again, sorry if i came across as offensive, that was not my intention.
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Old 10-05-2006, 07:34 PM   #6
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Sleep is difficult for babies and mommies. We all do the best we can.
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Old 10-05-2006, 07:47 PM   #7
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Re: i am a terrible mom

Helen, You are Not a bad mom. It is hard to hear them crying and not run to comfort as we are programed to do. It is even harder when you are dealing with two!! I know you are a wonderful mama. It will all work out in the end, and it will get better. You are a sweet, caring, person. Although it is hard to hear them cry some before they fall asleep, it doesn't make you a bad mom if they cry some. I remember how hard it felt when my DD (8 yo now) went through that at the same age your boys are. I hated it, but in two nights she was going to sleep with no assistance when I layed her down in her crib. I really hope you feel better, you are a great mom
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Old 10-06-2006, 09:05 AM   #8
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Re: i am a terrible mom

:yeahthat

Sometimes I think CIO is harder on us moms than on the kiddos
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Old 10-06-2006, 04:07 PM   #9
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Re: i am a terrible mom

Quote:
Originally Posted by titania View Post
i am so upset. my boys are having so much trouble sleeping...well, it was only jonas but now micah seems to be getting on board. he only wants to sleeep in my arms, or fall completely asleep and then and only then am i able to put him down. i am trying to read and follow the no cry sleep solution, and i have the gist of it- i am supposed to get the baby sleepy and then put him down, and pick him up when he cries and repeat infinity. but i don't have the patience for that. i feel so awful about that, but i jsut don't. and i just hate letting them cry, but i have done it in the past when they were going through similar sleep strikes, and it 'fixed' the problem. but i hate myself for it. i wish i was the kind of person who had infinite time and patience to gently help them fall asleep, but that's not who i am. right now jonas is up there crying, and i am down here crying, and i jsut feel like crap. tell me im not ruining my babies! i kind of feel like it is the lesser of two evils, because when they get to not sleeping i get to not being very nice, and i heard the demon horror movie voice come out of my mouth earlier--directed at my sweet baby--and knew it was time to do something. but i hate it.

thanks for letting my share my misery.
I had to do that with my oldest son Seth and now he sleeps through the night it is so nice but now I have a 2 month old Mason, I don't want to let him cry either but right now he sleeps with me and my husband and it's headake because i worry about squishing him but I don't know what else to do, Does anyone have any ideas.
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Old 10-06-2006, 05:25 PM   #10
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Re: i am a terrible mom

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Originally Posted by jen View Post
I had to do that with my oldest son Seth and now he sleeps through the night it is so nice but now I have a 2 month old Mason, I don't want to let him cry either but right now he sleeps with me and my husband and it's headake because i worry about squishing him but I don't know what else to do, Does anyone have any ideas.
well, i wish i had read either the no cry sleep solution or healthy sleep habits, happy child way back when my boys were that age. both books have good, practical advice for that age. once the baby gets to be closer to 3-4 months, things start to get harder, as far as i can tell. get yourself to the library if you can, and see if either of those books have anything to offer you. if i had it all to do over i would definitely start trying to get them to sleep on their own much earlier!! good luck!!
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