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Old 07-23-2008, 07:44 AM   #1
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Wonderful Parenting Style

I am not sure if anyone has heard of this- but I went to an siminar on it through our local ESU- and I am so excited about it I just had to share!!
It is called Love and Logic.
Basically, you are giving the child choices, but they are both something that you want. So you stay in control.
You base it off of yourself going "braindead" so as you do not overreact. And so you keep the behavior the bad guy and not yourself.
If you would like to learn more about it- either ask me (I would love to share more) or go to www.loveandlogic.com
This will work from infants all the way up to your husband!!

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Old 07-23-2008, 07:55 AM   #2
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Re: Wonderful Parenting Style

Yes, I went to his seminar when I was a teacher. It also focuses on empathy. Letting them know that you feel bad that they are having to be punished so that the child can realize that their punishment is due to their own actions and not because their mama is mean.
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Old 07-23-2008, 08:11 AM   #3
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Re: Wonderful Parenting Style

My friends with 3 kids (the oldest is 4.5, middle is 3.25 and the youngest is almost 4 months) are using this with GREAT success.

I've noticed that they are much more calm in dealing with the issues that come up, than parents that don't do it this way.

It amazes me that something so simple covers so much... choices range from "would you like the red plate or the blue plate" to "are you going to choose to listen, or choose a time out?".

We're definitely doing this method with our LO.
Thanks for the link!
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Old 07-23-2008, 08:15 AM   #4
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Re: Wonderful Parenting Style

I'm on the strict end of GD - I'm alpha and I don't usually back down from a well thought out decision or something that needs to happen....but I found the book a little..lacking? I guess is the right word - lacking in balance. There's a heavy emphasis on the logic; logical consquences, logical thought process, but at the same time not enough emphasis on love. This program started out as the Tough Love program, and it's easy to see why. There's a lot of good advice in there, but there's some that you really should just trust your gut on.

May I suggest reading Barbara Coloroso's Kids Are Worth It as a companion to the program? She is a former nun who left the order to have a family and her peacefullness shines through on every page. I could only wish to have the patience she does. Anyhow, a very good read for a slightly different perspective on the logical/natural consequence idea and GD philosophy.
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Old 07-23-2008, 08:45 AM   #5
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Re: Wonderful Parenting Style

I noticed that it works until your dc is about 5 and says no to both choices. Always got to have a back up plan.
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Old 07-23-2008, 09:03 AM   #6
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Re: Wonderful Parenting Style

Quote:
Originally Posted by TyAndCheyMommy View Post
I am not sure if anyone has heard of this- but I went to an siminar on it through our local ESU- and I am so excited about it I just had to share!!
It is called Love and Logic.
Basically, you are giving the child choices, but they are both something that you want. So you stay in control.
You base it off of yourself going "braindead" so as you do not overreact. And so you keep the behavior the bad guy and not yourself.
If you would like to learn more about it- either ask me (I would love to share more) or go to www.loveandlogic.com
This will work from infants all the way up to your husband!!
It sounds similar to P.E.T. (Parent Effectiveness Training) which I love.
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Old 07-23-2008, 09:47 AM   #7
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Re: Wonderful Parenting Style

I read a book once that said to do that. I don't remember what the book was, but it really does work well. You can offer the child a two choices, both of which give you the result you want, and they still feel like they are having a say in their life. Now if I could just remember to do that more often. It's hard to remember in the heat of the moment. I guess it just becomes second nature after while.
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