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Old 07-21-2008, 01:13 PM   #11
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Re: Good News/Bad News - sorry so long!

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I think this says it all. It sounds like the job will require a lot more than you're willing to give. Jobs aren't always about financial gain and you need to decide if the 14 hour days are worth being away from your family.
hmmmm. As my DH would say "that's one to grow on!"

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Old 07-21-2008, 01:59 PM   #12
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I should also add that he's been through EASILY 10 temp assistants in the 4 months that i've been here. THey get people in here who are excited to have access to him, but who can't really do the job. I believe that I can do the job, but don't know that i'm willing to.
That's a real red flag. Sometimes its not the person, but the job itself. I know many positions are set-up for failure.

Make your own position - hours and money. If you are going to make the commitment away from your family, you'll need to know that it is worth your while. The worst he can say is no - in which case you'll still do fine where you are. (Side note: I recently was offered a higher paying position but with more hrs and responsibilities. I requested less hours and changed the terms. They decided to go with someone else, but I'm OK with that. I still have my current gig and am able to spend time with LO.)
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Old 07-21-2008, 03:37 PM   #13
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Alright - here's the update:

Mr. Big has this guy in the office who I call his "man servant." Well the "man servant" just walked up to my desk and said "your name keeps coming up...it came up twice today."

I know that this guy tells the boss EVERYTHING. So I just said as polite and I could "that's really so flattering, but that job is not for me. I'm a 'done at 6' kind of worker right now' you know what I mean." He says "ok-ok we've been talking about you and I just wanted you to know."

I'm so so flattered, but really - I think that job's just not me.

My only concern is that since it's his company he has the power to basically reassign me to him. Apparently he's done that before. I'll cross that bridge if it comes to that. I really like working here, but feel that I can best serve my family and this company in my current position.
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Old 07-21-2008, 04:39 PM   #14
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Well like you said, you would make enough that your DH could stay home, then the kids wouldn't be suffering, KWIM?
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Old 07-21-2008, 04:46 PM   #15
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I believe that everything happens for a reason. When one door closes, another opens. You've got a good head on your shoulder - you'll spot the right opportunity when it comes. If he REALLY wants you then he would make it REALLY worth your while.
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Old 07-21-2008, 04:47 PM   #16
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Stick to your guns. Is it worth it to have dh home with the kids and be miserable and not able to spend time with them. Or would it be better if you both worked and got to spend ample time with em.
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Old 07-21-2008, 07:09 PM   #17
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I like the idea that I raise my children. I think it would be nice if DH could be home with the kids for a while, but father's don't mother. Only mother's mother.

In all honesty there is a part of me what would LOVE to work for him - jsut not right now. Or not under the current set up. The executive offices are a MESS. It would take me MONTHS to get things straight and a good system in place. I just don't have that level of dedication for work right now.

The WHOLE reason that i'm there is to help my family. I have a 9 month old baby. I can't miss my baby's babyhood to work a job where they won't care one way or the other about my kids. I admire this man SO MUCH - but I admire my famliy more I guess.

In a perfect world i'm work the fancy job from m-f 9-5 and that's it. But it's just not that kind of job.

Oh well. I'm really happy in the position that I have now - so I guess there's nothing for me to worry about for now.

Thanks for your input ladies.
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Old 07-22-2008, 10:00 AM   #18
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I know I'm late to the game here. It sounds like you've made the right decision for you and your family. I so relate to what you said about children needing their fathers, but that fathers don't mother. I'm the primary bread winner right now and dh has the lion share of time with dd during the work week. Breaks my heart. Especially when she says, "no go work! I want you!" You're right that the job will chew you up and spit you out and move on. I worked in NY (many years ago, for a law firm as a legal assistant). At the end of the day, they'll find someone else to do the job regardless of the reason you may be unavailable. Family reasons, whatever.

The flip side is doing the cost benefit analysis (which you seem to have done) regarding whether the cost to your family of biting the bullet for 1 year is not so great as to outweigh the benefits of the opportunities this position might create for you.

Anyway, sounds like you are very level headed and have considered the angles. Also sounds like this guy is used to getting what he wants, so, be prepared for him to continue to seek you out!
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Old 07-22-2008, 10:34 AM   #19
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Also sounds like this guy is used to getting what he wants, so, be prepared for him to continue to seek you out!
That's the part that's a little scary to me, but i've decided to take each day at it comes.

My imediate supv is supporting me in staying right where I am. If he pushes I am free to leave the firm. I hope he'll see that i'm more valuable being here and NOT working for him than I am leaving all together.
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Old 07-22-2008, 10:39 AM   #20
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I know you've already made your decision, but when I was reading through these posts, it reminded me of the movie "Two Weeks Notice" where she was doing so much work! I hope everything works out the best for you!
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