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Old 07-21-2008, 01:26 PM   #1
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Manners... not expected?

DS is very polite. He always says please, thank you, and you're welcome. He holds doors for people (if they're light enough for him to). He doesn't interrupt. He waits his turn, and says excuse me before moving in front of someone. And he just turned 4 in May. I expect all of these things from him because I've taught him to be polite from birth. He knew - and used - the sign language for please and thank you long before he had the verbal skills to say them. I taught him to wait until other people are done speaking before saying something, and to leave people alone once they go into the bathroom. I've taught him not to make comments about others' appearances. I've taught him the behavior I would expect from any functional member of society.

Yet when we go places people are just amazed at how polite he is. Waitresses gush over how polite he is when he thanks them for handing him his drink. People in the grocery store exclaim, "What a gentleman!" when he says "excuse me" to move past them in the aisles. I mean, I appreciate that people acknowledge his manners. It makes me feel like I'm doing my job as a parent. But I'm honestly surprised by how surprised they are. Are kids NOT expected to be polite??? Personally, I'm appalled by rudeness in children, but it seems like other people think it's normal?


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Old 07-21-2008, 01:44 PM   #2
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Re: Manners... not expected?

Sadly, rude children are extremely common, and polite ones really stand out. Good for you for raising up a polite little boy. His life will be so much easier for it.
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Old 07-21-2008, 01:47 PM   #3
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Re: Manners... not expected?

Manners are one of our main focuses as a family. I definitely expect my son to be polite and have good manners, above all else. My mother was the same way, there was incredible focus on relating to other people and proper manners. (Though she had inane focus on table manners, whereas I try to push more towards general relating and politeness, I'm not such a stickler at the table)
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Old 07-21-2008, 01:49 PM   #4
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Re: Manners... not expected?

Unfortunately, I think rude parents are the norm, and so are rude children. It's a sad truth about our society.You should be VERY proud, mama!
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Old 07-21-2008, 03:03 PM   #5
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Re: Manners... not expected?

We're working on ours. DS1 does pretty good but still needs reminders.
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Old 07-21-2008, 07:15 PM   #6
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Re: Manners... not expected?

i have this all the time too DS has always said please and thank you for stuff. and yet his nurses in hospital tell me he is the most polite child they have in there. he always says hello and goodbye to people too.
its the way i have always taught him, there is no excuse for being rude.
young single mum to 1 little boy joshua. 12 weeks early and still my little fighter

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Old 07-21-2008, 10:23 PM   #7
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Re: Manners... not expected?

We get the same responses with our DD. One lade in WM actually stopped me and commended my parenting because I expected DD to put something back on the shelf when she had taken it down to look at. What do other kids do? Throw it on the floor?
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Old 07-22-2008, 12:47 AM   #8
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Re: Manners... not expected?

Sadly manners have fallen by the wayside in the past couple of decades. As a southerner who was, to quote grandma, "raised right", I never cease to be shocked at the behavior I witness daily. I've been laughed at for saying m'am and sir and please and thank you. It may seem silly or unecessary to some, but my son will certainly be taught to be a gentlemen and to have good manners. Good manners will take you a long way in this world... and they make the world a better and brighter place.

I'll never forget the time I walked into a gas station and said, "Hello" to the woman behind the counter, said "Thank you" when the women handed me my change. She stopped me and said, "I just want to tell you that you are the first person to say hello and thank you to me today. I really appreciate it."

We complain about receiving bad service in different places, but how often do we think about the people waiting on us?

Good for you for raising a young gentlemen.
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Old 07-22-2008, 01:02 AM   #9
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Re: Manners... not expected?

Yep - good job mama. When I remind my little one of his manners I often hear, "oh it's okay he doesn't have to" or something similar and say "oh yes he does"

I want to go on and say, " because if he didn't you'd tell me how much of an obnoxious brat he is - so I make sure he's polite".

Right now his favourite thing to say is "sueze me" he says it a lot!
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Old 07-22-2008, 01:09 AM   #10
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Re: Manners... not expected?

Good for you and him. I have four boys and know the difference that good manners and high expectations can make in someones life. My oldest is 16, going to be a junior in high school and still has his manners when many of his peers do not. Being polite can make a bad situation much easier. I tell him when you get in trouble doing something you shouldn't do and you aplologize and say "Yes Sir, No Sir" atleast they know you are good kid making a mistake and not just a disrespectful punk causing trouble.KWIM? My littles just turned 3 and always say please, thank you, no thank you, yes please. your welcome and excuse me. Gage is so polite that when I say "OK it's time for bed" he'll say "No thank you" or if I ask to quit pulling the kitty's tail he'll again say "no thank you". It just cracks me up everytime. Sorry to highjack. Yes I try to teach my boys good manners and I think it is more of an exception than rule.
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