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Old 10-11-2006, 10:33 AM   #1
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Unhappy I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

Okay, here is a long story shortened up a bit...
I have 2 dd's and I want 1 more child. My last birth was awesome, as soon as my girl came out, I said crying-"I want another!" Well, after 2 months in the hospital, fighting a life-threatening infection (that could have been prevented) the doctors don't think I should have more babies.

I feel like my whole infancy/babymooning period was just pulled away from me. I was only home with my special baby for 6 days and I was so happy.

I am recovered and I know what my body can handle and I want to get pg again (dd will be 1 Oct 18). My dh keeps going back and forth. I know that he is afraid of me getting sick again, but there is no reason that that should happen if the hospital does their job right this time. He just says, "I just don't want anymore."

WHat am I supposed to do? Do I have to live with out ever knowing what it is like to have a baby inside me again? Never to nurse again? Please help me ladies, I am crying as I type this and I cried myself to sleep last night over this.

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Old 10-11-2006, 10:45 AM   #2
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Re: I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

I feel for you mama. I have 3 babaies and dh says he is done. I however am not and he knows this. I find that bringing it up now and agian, not pestering, has worn him down a bit and now he is not so anti baby. Unless something premanant is done there is still hope. Give him some time, guys need far longer to recover than us. He is probably scared that something will happen again and that it could possibly be worse.
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Old 10-11-2006, 10:51 AM   #3
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Re: I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

Oh mama, I'm in a very similar situation right now... I want another one right now so bad its driving me crazy. Our situation is a little different though... I think DH is just afraid that any new babies will have Bram's condition as well and he's also worried about money, kwim? I know he wants another but I don't want to wait 10 years for him to feel financially "secure".

Like the PP said... just give him some time and maybe the fear won't be as strong. Trust me, I know its hard to wait but I guess we just have to hang in there.
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Old 10-11-2006, 10:59 AM   #4
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Re: I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

(((Teresa))). That must be very difficult for you. I personally go back and forth about adding one more, so I can't be much help, lol. I will keep you in my prayers.
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Old 10-11-2006, 11:26 AM   #5
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Re: I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

Huge HUGS momma! i was in your same boat 2 months ago. stupid moron doc told me i shouldnt have any more kids and if i did it would kill me. well i go see another doctor to be fixed and they said there is no reason for me not to have anymore kids. go to another doc and they said the same thing. im waiting on an appt to get my iud out so that i can have more kids. but anyways dh was saying that he didnt want anymore, and it wasnt because he didnt want anymore, it was because he was afraid of what would happen if we did have anymore. i would DEFINATELY see another doctor with dh so that he can hear the doc say what happened isnt always what happened and it can be prevented, there should be no problem having kids.

if you need to talk anymore please pm me
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Old 10-11-2006, 01:07 PM   #6
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Re: I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

I agree with the op, your dh is probably scared of losing you and he needs more time to adjust. Don't rush him, just stay at peace about it. He will probably come around.
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Old 10-11-2006, 01:32 PM   #7
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Re: I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bsydprmkn View Post
i would DEFINATELY see another doctor with dh so that he can hear the doc say what happened isnt always what happened and it can be prevented, there should be no problem having kids.
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Old 10-11-2006, 01:42 PM   #8
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Re: I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

I'm sorry Teresa. I also agree with seeing another doc to see what he/she has to say.
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Old 10-11-2006, 05:03 PM   #9
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Re: I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

Sorry mama!!

I agree with the others. Go get a second and third opinion so hubby will feel better about.
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Old 10-12-2006, 11:09 AM   #10
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Re: I need help please-hubby doesn't want more!

have you talked to a specialist or a high risk ob? I am very high risk, but if I take all of the precautions that I am supposed to the docs say there is no reason I couldn't have 4+ babies.

I am preggo with my third and wanted a 4th, but my dh says he is done and doens't want anymore. I am sad about it, but at least I am getting a 3rd.

I know my dh worries about me too, I think that is the majority of the reason he doesn't want any more kids.

maybe if you go and speak with the doctors they can re-assure you and your dh?

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