Step Parent adoption - Cloth Diapers & Parenting Community

lordservnt · 08-10-2008, 10:23 AM

Does anyone have any experience with step parent adoptions in illinois? My husband is wanting to adopt my sons and I have done some looking around online and have found some information saying I don't need a lawyer. I know there won't be a problem with one of my sons, his father has already offered to sign the paperwork, but my oldest will be the problem, his grandparents will probably pose more of a problem than his father. He is 5 so I won't tell him he can't see his grandparents anymore, but he has already said he wants his dad's name (he calls my husband dad) Just curious if anyone has already had experience with this and could offer advice or insight.

dakarimom5 · 08-10-2008, 08:40 PM

I can't speak for Ill. because we did it in AL but it was pretty easy and quick. Since we were married over a year we didn't need a home visit. All we had to do was sit in front of a judge for 5 min while he asked my son's questions. FWIW...even though my ex said he and his family still wanted contact, after the adoption they cut all ties, even saying that my son wasn't "theirs" anymore!

Good luck.

jessicalee · 08-10-2008, 09:03 PM

We did ours in GA. All states are different but I'd go to a lawyer for a free consult and see what they say about the subject and how it works where you are. We had to pay $500 and put it in the papers for anyone to oppose, and out here they didnt worry about grandparents, it all came down to the paternaty papers-if the dad had signed them or not.
I would let the grandparents know that this way the child would be taken care of through ss and your dh's health/life insurance and so on. its a good thing in the long run not a bad thing on them or their son.
Good Luck

lordservnt · 08-10-2008, 09:35 PM

Thanks! We all just wish all of this were over already. We have been together for 2 years, but not married for a year yet, so I think it would be best for us to at least wait for the year mark.....idk........ugh

louieryansmom · 08-10-2008, 09:39 PM

I am in il and I know that my dd couldnt be adopted by my ex dh b/c her bio wouldnt sign the paperwork. even though he has had no verbal contact even with her for 5 out of her 6years (he last talked/saw her when she was 10 mos old) the lawyer said he still had the rights. He has only seen her 3 times in her life, but since he signed the voluntary acknowledgement of paternity, he still has rights in il i guess

jessicalee · 08-11-2008, 08:40 PM

op- we waited till we were married 5 yrs. hubby really wanted the kids to be able to agree or not. at first my second wouldnt do it & we didnt want to force him, we had mentioned it when the boys were like 5-6 and didnt do it till they were 10-11, we would just talk about every 6 m or so. its nice to just get it done but when the time is right itll just be right, once we started the prosses it still took a few months or so.
good luck

My5LilPiggies · 08-13-2008, 09:56 PM

Every state is different. Idk about Il laws though, but where we are abandoment is cause for termination of parental rights. I did my ds's adoption Pro Se (for ones self). Although dh and I had been married over 2 years our state requires a home study no matter what. See if you have a law library in your area or if an atty will do a free consultation. I drafted our own order using my state's family code requirements. The whole thing, including the guardian ad litem for ds, finger prints for dh and I, background checks, filing fees, etc was less than $1000

08-10-2008, 10:23 AM	#1
lordservnt Registered Users Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Illinois Posts: 136 Ratings: 11 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Step Parent adoption Does anyone have any experience with step parent adoptions in illinois? My husband is wanting to adopt my sons and I have done some looking around online and have found some information saying I don't need a lawyer. I know there won't be a problem with one of my sons, his father has already offered to sign the paperwork, but my oldest will be the problem, his grandparents will probably pose more of a problem than his father. He is 5 so I won't tell him he can't see his grandparents anymore, but he has already said he wants his dad's name (he calls my husband dad) Just curious if anyone has already had experience with this and could offer advice or insight. __________________ A-Wife to L Mama to B (3-11-03) N (12-12-06)T (11-21-08)

08-10-2008, 08:40 PM	#2
dakarimom5 Registered Users Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 283 Ratings: 6 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Step Parent adoption I can't speak for Ill. because we did it in AL but it was pretty easy and quick. Since we were married over a year we didn't need a home visit. All we had to do was sit in front of a judge for 5 min while he asked my son's questions. FWIW...even though my ex said he and his family still wanted contact, after the adoption they cut all ties, even saying that my son wasn't "theirs" anymore! Good luck. __________________ Veronica SAHM to 4 princes and 1 princess Babywearing Advocate IDDDSO my DH's vasectomy to undo itself!!!

08-10-2008, 09:03 PM	#3
jessicalee Registered Users Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Yelm, WA Posts: 1,993 Ratings: 138 Feedback: 100%	Re: Step Parent adoption We did ours in GA. All states are different but I'd go to a lawyer for a free consult and see what they say about the subject and how it works where you are. We had to pay $500 and put it in the papers for anyone to oppose, and out here they didnt worry about grandparents, it all came down to the paternaty papers-if the dad had signed them or not. I would let the grandparents know that this way the child would be taken care of through ss and your dh's health/life insurance and so on. its a good thing in the long run not a bad thing on them or their son. Good Luck __________________ Jessica, Army Wife & Mom of 4, Hands behind Noguchi Designs Shop, Shop, Like & Follow

08-10-2008, 09:35 PM	#4
lordservnt Registered Users Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Illinois Posts: 136 Ratings: 11 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Step Parent adoption Thanks! We all just wish all of this were over already. We have been together for 2 years, but not married for a year yet, so I think it would be best for us to at least wait for the year mark.....idk........ugh __________________ A-Wife to L Mama to B (3-11-03) N (12-12-06)T (11-21-08)

08-10-2008, 09:39 PM	#5
louieryansmom Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: schaumburg illinois Posts: 756 Ratings: 54 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: Step Parent adoption I am in il and I know that my dd couldnt be adopted by my ex dh b/c her bio wouldnt sign the paperwork. even though he has had no verbal contact even with her for 5 out of her 6years (he last talked/saw her when she was 10 mos old) the lawyer said he still had the rights. He has only seen her 3 times in her life, but since he signed the voluntary acknowledgement of paternity, he still has rights in il i guess __________________ Stephanie ... mama to 3 boys and 1 princess!