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Old 08-12-2008, 01:14 PM   #61
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Re: This is a support forum!

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Wow, this makes me sad...I agree this is a support forum where we should be able to voice our opinions without being attacked. I think OP didn't mean for this to turn out anywhere near what it has become. Leave her be. She's a mama too. It makes me sad to see such hateful comments coming from the mouths-or fingers-that should be so loving to show the best example for our LOs.
Thank you!

My reason for starting the thread was to discuss WHY it is such a hot topic. WHY do people get so upset when a person suggests bfing?

After reading this thread and thinking about for the last two days, I guess it is not a subject that can be discussed in a forum like this without some strong comments. There are too many people with too many emotions attached to breastfeeding, myself included.

This has certainly been eye opening. I appreciate it!

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Old 08-12-2008, 02:35 PM   #62
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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hmm if you were rude to me like that .. i would be turned off by bf mommas too .. your not helping the bf cause btw .. just making all of us that are look bad and turning other mommas off to trying to bf that makes me sad


I *gasp* ff my first dd. One part of my decision (other than being absofreakinlutely terrified my eating disorder would come back after giving birth and I would have more than enough to deal with not starving myself to death to be also freaked over starving my child....and it did come back, so I made the right decision)...anyways, one part of my decision was my bad bad bad interactions with a couple of bf'ers before that were SO militant and offputting and downright rude and mean to ff moms...I didn't want to be like them and it made me associate bf'ing with cruel behavior. Now I bf dd2 and I get some of where they were coming from, but their delivery methods remain inexcusable.

Like pp's have said - if you truely wanted to offer a helpful thought or even if you just wanted to prove a point that bf'ing was possible, you would have suggested relactating, although for a mom with a few moths old child, relactating would be far from free, and she was obviously already in need.
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Old 08-12-2008, 02:36 PM   #63
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Re: This is a support forum!

I could not produce but maybe 10cc of milk at a time (I have IGT), I never ever covered the bottom of the bottle I was pumping into. I HATE having to use formula and I feel bad about it every day, many times a day, I think about it constantly. I don't even know why I torture myself looking over the BF and FF threads, but I do. Maybe there are very few women who truly can not produce milk, but WE ARE HERE AND WE HAVE FEELINGS TOO, WE (however few) read these posts too and get our feelings hurt, feelings that are already and forever hurting because we could not BF our LOs. And for myself, that is why I'm very sensitive to this subject, I have been to hell and back trying to BF, and it was truly devastating when I accepted the finality of my IGT, that it was beyond my control. Despite (literally) thousands of dollars spent on LCs, blood tests, nursing supplement supplies, herbs, drugs. So yes, I am sensitive about FF and I would have taken offense to your comment.
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Old 08-12-2008, 03:32 PM   #64
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Re: This is a support forum!

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Thank you!

My reason for starting the thread was to discuss WHY it is such a hot topic. WHY do people get so upset when a person suggests bfing?

After reading this thread and thinking about for the last two days, I guess it is not a subject that can be discussed in a forum like this without some strong comments. There are too many people with too many emotions attached to breastfeeding, myself included.

This has certainly been eye opening. I appreciate it!
But you didn't just suggest BF. Your condescending tone in "Hey here's a thought, BF" is downright hurtful and I think you knew that and expected a pat on the back. I just find it demeaning to people here to say you were "just trying to suggest" breastfeeding.
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Old 08-12-2008, 03:43 PM   #65
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Re: This is a support forum!

Honestly, the only time I would say such a thing is if I wanted to hurt feelings or cause a chaotic storm. Neither of which I'd do, so I still don't get the "just trying to suggest" idea. And though this is a support forum, this was not BF advocacy or people treating you wrong for BFing. I can't support that.
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Old 08-12-2008, 03:57 PM   #66
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Re: This is a support forum!

I will agree that "here's a thought" was a bad choice of words. That doesn't mean that I was trying to be hateful or hurtful. I was trying to be succinct, and get my point across.

Like I said, I have learned a lot from this thread. I will choose my words much more carefully in the future.
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Old 08-12-2008, 03:59 PM   #67
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Re: This is a support forum!

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I will agree that "here's a thought" was a bad choice of words. That doesn't mean that I was trying to be hateful or hurtful. I was trying to be succinct, and get my point across.

Like I said, I have learned a lot from this thread. I will choose my words much more carefully in the future.
Good. I think that's all people wanted you to realize. Your words can take on a meaning of their own, regardless of what you meant.
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Old 08-12-2008, 04:17 PM   #68
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Re: This is a support forum!

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Good. I think that's all people wanted you to realize. Your words can take on a meaning of their own, regardless of what you meant.


I just wish they were a little nicer about it. I truly feel awful about this situation. It has consumed me for the last 2 days. If pp wanted to make me feel bad, they succeeded. I have cried and thought and prayed. I want to be an advocate, not a bully.

For my own well being, I am not going to allow myself to look at this thread again. Thanks to the mamas who supported me and thanks to the mamas who had some constructive advice.
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Old 08-12-2008, 04:25 PM   #69
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Re: This is a support forum!

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Good. I think that's all people wanted you to realize. Your words can take on a meaning of their own, regardless of what you meant.
Especially in the cyber-world. The nuances of vocal tone can convey your true feelings...online it's always so easy to mis-speak because your tone of voice can carry so much of your meaning and it's totally lost online.
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Old 08-12-2008, 07:01 PM   #70
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Re: Craigslist bfing debate out of control!

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i think you were out of line. did you ever consider that maybe there was a reason why she CAN'T breastfeed?
I'm all for breastfeeding and I was lucky that it was easy for me and my DD.
Not everyone is so lucky. You should be more considerate of other people's feelings, and not make any assumptions about why anyone FF.
Sorry, I think you were way out of line
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