View Poll Results: Do you really say mean things or expect and explanation from FFing mamas?
Yes 3 1.30%
No 204 88.70%
Sometimes 23 10.00%
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Old 08-18-2008, 06:59 AM   #91
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

I voted sometimes, although I've never said anything to someone directly. I think that everyone who can should try to bf. If it doesn't work out that's one thing but at least you tried it. I am the only one in my husbands family who bf, and everyone of his cousins chose not to for IMO selfish reasons (ie. I want to drink and go out). One of them even packed a bottle of rum and coke in her hospital bag for after birth.

I sometimes feel like saying something to them but they are adults and they know the research and everything. Nothing I would say would convince them otherwise. Although some of them have asked me how its going with the bf and I tell them. and they always seem to follow up with I can't image doing that.

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Old 08-18-2008, 07:06 AM   #92
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

sometimes it seems FFing mama can be very defensive about their choice (or lack of choice) and so things get poorly interpreted b/c of that
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Old 08-18-2008, 08:29 AM   #93
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

I FF with my first and and BF now. In all honesty, its none of our buisness why other mamas choose (or dont choose) to BF or FF. To say mean things is just catty...and annoying. Who are we to be telling someone what to do. Im pretty sure we are all grown ups here and can make our own decisions, no matter what the reasons are.

Mamas who BF are no better than mamas who FF. They dont love their children more... they arent better people, or better mamas... Its not a contest. I wish people would stop treating it like one. Were here to be supportive of other mamas not criticize their choices.

No flames please, Im just being honest, and saying what needs to be said.
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Old 08-18-2008, 09:14 AM   #94
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

All of my IRL friends formula feed. Literally every single one. Some of them BF for less than 6 months or so, others never BF at all. So if I were to say mean things, I'd probably have no friends.

I am, however, a BFing advocate at heart. And I'm famous for saying, "Well, the cool thing about breastfeeding is...." It's amazing how many convenient benefits I see when I compare my kids to my girlfriends kids. When we're out running errands together and they have to go home b/c they forgot an extra bottle or have to find somewhere to warm a bottle up, I'm quick to point out that I don't have to do the same. My diaper bag is rediculously tiny compared to theirs, even though I CD. I'm quick to point out that my kids have never been constipated, and I got to take my leisurely time starting solids b/c breastmilk changes calorie content but formula doesn't. I'm quick to point out how cheap it was to feed my baby the first year of his life. And, did I mention how lazy I am? I've never left our bed in the middle of the night unless I had to pee, because I've never had to race to the kitchen for a bottle. I'm totally obnoxious about it, without being insulting.
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Old 08-18-2008, 09:16 AM   #95
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

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Originally Posted by BeachMommyOfTwo View Post
I FF with my first and and BF now. In all honesty, its none of our buisness why other mamas choose (or dont choose) to BF or FF. To say mean things is just catty...and annoying. Who are we to be telling someone what to do. Im pretty sure we are all grown ups here and can make our own decisions, no matter what the reasons are.

Mamas who BF are no better than mamas who FF. They dont love their children more... they arent better people, or better mamas... Its not a contest. I wish people would stop treating it like one. Were here to be supportive of other mamas not criticize their choices.

No flames please, Im just being honest, and saying what needs to be said.
So true, mama, so true.
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Old 08-19-2008, 06:03 AM   #96
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

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There is high fructose corn syrup in formula?!?! WTF??

There is lots of crap in formula. This whole "pre-digested" milk protein thing. If you think about it, a cow needs to build muscle mass quickly after birth, a human on the other hand needs to build brain matter. The cow milk is really high in protein to build that muscle and is therefore not equipped with the good fats needed to develop brain matter (as in the human development) so the proteins need to be "broken down" ----- why?? because we're just not supposed to drink cows milk when we are babies.

Milk is species specific. Its even adapted to the seasons ie. higher fat content in the winter and more watery in the summer.

As to the title of the thread, I have 3 children. They've all BF. But my son was only BF for 5.5 months and then I had thyroid issues and had to take medication (one of the few that go through into the milk) and needed to stop at that time. My two girls were EBF. That being said, even though I did FF and for a legitimate reason, I can't help but wonder why moms are FF. Is it a genuine reason or is it because or some other reason...
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Old 08-21-2008, 01:06 PM   #97
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

I have to admit, before I had DS I thought BFing was of course the natural and best way to feed your baby. How hard could it be? I probably did judge FF moms a bit.

And then I had a horrible L & D and my milk was severely delayed. My son was losing weight rapidly, and I supplemented him with formula for the first month of his life. Working on the latch, wondering how much he was eating...I saw how BFing is challenging, especially at a time when you are tired, vulnerable, confused. Often alone. I realized then that while BFing was the right choice for me, I can understand why it isn't (or can't be) for others. Pumping is not a very fun experience either...I really admire EPing moms. That is extreme dedication!

I do wish my son would take a bottle every now and then...but he loves him some boob!
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Old 08-21-2008, 02:04 PM   #98
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

WOW! IRL, I usually get comments about my bf, like... oh you're STILL breastfeeding?? (my lo is 6 months old!! yea, I'm still breastfeeding...) and things like that, so sometimes my response (like the above) will seem a little snide, but it's defensive rather then trying to be mean. I love forums like this because this is where I seek support for a decision that does not seem very popular amongst people I interact with (work - pumping 3 times a day is tough, fitting it in between meetings, etc). Even good friends of mine that are ff will make comments about how they don't have to wake up in the middle of the night, and it's just so much easier...

I respect EVERYONE for whatever choices they make and think it would be so much easier on all of us if everyone did the same. We are all just walking in our own shoes the best way we know how...
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Old 08-21-2008, 02:06 PM   #99
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

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Originally Posted by annya25 View Post
I do wish my son would take a bottle every now and then...but he loves him some boob!
Amen

There are times where all I want to do is give him a bottle! BFing was really trying my patience in the first few weeks, and I wanted to give up! Im glad I didnt though, BFing is so great to me now!!!
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Old 08-21-2008, 02:08 PM   #100
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Re: Do you really say mean things or expect an explanation?

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Originally Posted by clanoblackadders View Post
That being said, even though I did FF and for a legitimate reason, I can't help but wonder why moms are FF. Is it a genuine reason or is it because or some other reason...

But the point is you don't know and (excuse the way this sounds) it's none of our business... bf is hard at the begining (it was for me, too). I really would like to be a support for moms that are encountering difficulties (like you did and got through), but at the end of the day, if you would have given up, I wouldn't judge you. ( glad you got through that and are bf)
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