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Old 08-13-2008, 12:08 PM   #1
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Did I push to hard?

(DS is 27 mths old)

We had 2 really good days in a row with training. DS peed lots on the potty. I noticed that he would dribble a bit and then he would cut it off, so I would take him to the potty and he'd go. We cheered and clapped and he was so excited.

Today we started again and all went good, but I kept asking if he needed to go. If I had to pee I made him come with and he started to get really frustrated and I think I pushed a bit too hard. He just didn't want to sit. So I put his undies back on and went about my business, then I noticed a puddle on the rug and his undies were wet. I think he was tired of me asking him if he had to go (which he always says no even if he has to go) So made him clean it up (he doesn't mind doing that) Then I asked him if he wanted diaper or undies and he choose diaper. So we've been going coverless now the rest of the day.

So should I just let it go? Should I keep asking if he wants diaper or undies? I'm really ok if we stay in diapers. I wasn't really planning on starting before the baby comes, it just sort of happened.

here's a little more info If I ask him if he has to go he almost always says no. If i just take him, sometimes he'll go, sometimes he gets mad that I didn't listen to his no anwer. In the morning he can hold it for hours. He must really let it go in his night diaper.

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Last edited by rawheid; 08-13-2008 at 12:13 PM.
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:16 PM   #2
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Re: Did I push to hard?

Oh mama I've been going through similar situation as you. Everyday now when he wakes up I give him a choice between his prefolds or his "so called big boy undies" although we know they are trainers. He has been wanting his diapers on lately. He did great for a week and then slacked off in the beginning of this summer. I'm just to the point where I'm letting him lead the way. Even though he knows when he wets, cause he'll practically change himself and either bring me a pair of his thick undies or a prefold to put back on him. This is hard and I just hope he's day trained by kindergarten. I know he's only 3 and most average boys are trained by 3.75 years old so maybe I shouldn't give up so easily just yet. Maybe yours just isn't ready yet. Take care and good luck.
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:30 PM   #3
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Re: Did I push to hard?

hmm, I would suggest the following, as it is working for us (although DS is younger than yours and can't really say no!)

This is from the Baby Whisperer:

Instead of saying "do you want to? or do you need to?", which may invite a NO response at his current age, just say "now it's time to go to the potty!" and take him. Let him sit a bit and enjoy himself, and if he happens to pee, congratulate him, then help him off. If he doesn't pee, just take hime off before he gets annoyed and don't get at all stressed about it.
Make a trip to the potty totally routine, doing it before and after each sleep, and a while after he drinks. Make it stressfree for you and him, so that he won't get defiant and "hold it" on purpose, which would typical of his age.
Don't worry about undies for now. Wait until you start to catch more pees and poops, and he begins to realize how great it is to use the potty.
From what you said, it seems he gets upset at being ASKED frequently, and also upset if he SAYS "no" and you try to take him anyway. So don't ask him, just make it as routine as any other daily activity, and don't get anxious.
Good luck!
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Old 08-13-2008, 09:25 PM   #4
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Re: Did I push to hard?

thanks for the support. I like the part of making it routine. So should I put him in undies? or a diaper? DS doesn't talk much. he says uh-huh for yes and with a different inflection for no, just like adults do ( i just don't know how to spell them) so sometimes its hard to know what to do.
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Old 08-14-2008, 02:53 PM   #5
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Re: Did I push to hard?

On response to should you put him in undies, I would personally wait, for two reasons. First, I wouldn't want pee seeping between my floorboards or smelling up my carpets (that's the selfish reason!). But I also wonder if this might be too much, too soon, given that you've already had some defiance/frustration issues.
Maybe he needs to get into a pottying routine first - regular visits through the day as I mentioned before, with him learning to enjoy it and see it AS a routine. When you begin to see a trend - as in you learn when he typically goes, and he consistently pees and is happy about it, then bring up big boy undies.
I think slow and steady progress over 2-4 months is often easier for a kid to handle than a crash course over a week or two.
Good luck with whatever you decide might work best for you!
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:48 AM   #6
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Re: Did I push to hard?

I would not ask, heck I never even took her to the potty to make her sit (like the pp's suggestion of "Time to go to the potty", which just incited tantrums and screaming that she didn't need to go). So what we did was nakedness and reminded her often that if she needed to go to potty, she needed to go on the potty. It put the power and control in her hands instead of mine, so she was not relient on me telling her to go, instead, listened to her own body and cues. She caught on pretty quickly (along with a sticker chart and 1 M&M fo pee, 2 for poop)
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Old 08-15-2008, 12:40 PM   #7
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Re: Did I push to hard?

Well we aren't asking any more. Now since I'm pg and have to go a lot, I jsut ask him to come and keep me company while I go. Most often he will pee on the potty. We also have sticker chart now and he LOVES stickers and it seems to be working really well.
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Old 08-15-2008, 03:04 PM   #8
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Re: Did I push to hard?

That's great! It sounds like a reward works well for your son, and also that he likes to emulate you.
Hopefully, if you prevent yourself from getting anxious, and also be really consistent with the new routine you're establishing, you'll start to see some progress.
It would be great if you post back on occasion with updates!
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