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Old 08-13-2008, 06:24 PM   #1
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Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

DS is really learning to find my buttons and push them! lol If I say no to something he will look at me and do it again and again until I smack his hand and he will STILL go back and do it right away. I have tried just taking him out of the situation and distracting him with something else....he will go back to what I didnt want him doing right away. I have tried time out in his room for 1 minute and he just gets madder and kicks and hits the door. I am at a loss. He thinks no is funny and continues to do what hes not supposed to. Any ideas on what I could try? Thanks

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Old 08-13-2008, 06:25 PM   #2
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Re: Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

you just have to be consistent and continue doing what you are doing. i would not "smack" him but that is just me. removing him is good. he will get it.
set limits and don't waiver. it is hard, but you can do it.
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Old 08-13-2008, 06:29 PM   #3
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Re: Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

Distraction and removing my child or the item of contention from the situation is what worked. Being consistent is key. Some times it takes a while for them to get it. Their brains do not work like ours and their memory is not like ours. I really don't think smacking is an appropriate thing for a 15 month old....
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Old 08-13-2008, 06:41 PM   #4
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Re: Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

you're on the right track mama, just be consistant with saying no, and removing them from the situation. I don't personally feel it's wrong to swat at a hand when they are going to be touching something dangerous such as the oven. However toddlers of that age don't really have the memory, or the thought patterns to remember that something is naughty to do until they've repeated it several times. And if you are swatting at them they might not understand the purpose of it, that is why saying no and distraction are the best methods for training your child.
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:19 PM   #5
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Re: Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

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Originally Posted by *Katherine* View Post
I really don't think smacking is an appropriate thing for a 15 month old....
Thats YOUR opinion. Im not looking for a debate here.
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Old 08-13-2008, 07:47 PM   #6
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Re: Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

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Originally Posted by *Katherine* View Post
Distraction and removing my child or the item of contention from the situation is what worked. Being consistent is key. Some times it takes a while for them to get it. Their brains do not work like ours and their memory is not like ours. I really don't think smacking is an appropriate thing for a 15 month old....



My son is 13 months old and we're dealing with this too. Distract & redirect. Consistently. Over and over and over and over......

He is starting to pick up on some of it though
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Old 08-14-2008, 01:48 AM   #7
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Re: Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

Do you tell him "no" a lot? When you say no over and over again it makes people zone out and the word loses it's meaning. It's the same with dogs. I never tell the dogs or dd no unless it's an emergency and I need them to desist right now and stop what they are doing. Otherwise, in dd's case I say things like, "we don't hit", "we don't touch things that aren't ours", "we keep our hands to ourselves", etc. By reinforcing the rules every time they break them, eventually they will understand the rules. Imo the hand-smacking and the word no are not very effective, since they child doesn't ultimately learn anything from either. I also phrase things like "we don't...." instead of giving her the imperative command "don't touch" or "don't hit". The "we" fosters a cooperative environment and I think is more constructive than always giving commands. It's a small distinction, but the way you talk to toddlers makes a huge difference.
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Old 08-14-2008, 03:15 AM   #8
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Re: Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

I hate to break it to you mama, but you have an alien on your hands. This is a creature unlike any other - his mission is to explore, know, and try to understand your world, but he is working with limitations your brain does not. The lack of impulse control combined with the desire to understand you and your world makes for some crazy situations indeed.

Creatures like this have been known to respond best to a small set of measures: redirection, short explanations (1-2 words), and lots of guidance. They need a tour guide. Are you up for the job?

I had one rather like yours living here. He was a bit different, of course, but he responded remarkably well to a rule that exploration was okay...as long as a guide was there. If he wanted to look in drawers - I was there to help him learn how to touch things, put up what was dangerous, and learn to put it away. If he wanted to press a button over and over, I was there to watch and make sure he got it out of his system. Doing this actually lessened the exploration time and had him moving on to other things instead of constantly touching. The mission had been completed, phase II could commence.

One more thing about creatures like this - since the curiousity is hardwired, there is little that deters them. It can only be grown out of. This means alien containment (aka time outs) or pain have little effect. The impulse simply cannot be controlled at this time. If you are lucky enough to continue having this extra-terrestrial live with you for the next few years, you will see a gradual decrease in spontanaiety and comparitive increase in well thought out actions that has little to do with external force. It just happens. Well, at least in all of the alien studies (and personal research that *I* have done).

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Old 08-14-2008, 04:47 AM   #9
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Re: Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

There was a lot of redirection going on in our house during that difficult time. It's hard but time will pass and all of a sudden, you will notice your little boy is no longer pushing your limits but will be back to playing with toys and you can enjoy life again, if for a little while!
My ds went thru all that too. You are so not alone in the whole new world of toddlerhood. If you can, get him out of the house to wear off energy. Here is a good web site that I used for a while: http://www.toddlertoddler.com
It has some great ideas to keep them busy and it's good one on one time with you and your ds.
Hang in there mama. He looks like he is trying to find his boundaries and it's up to you and your dh to set them. Children feel more secure with boundaries. Remember to be consistent too. I was never the one to remove items from curious little hands. I just decided to teach our ds what was his and what was mine. Although, there were times when I knew I would be busy and couldn't be right there to redirect him, so they offending items would be put away.
Sorry if this is all over the place. I feel for other mamas who are going thru what I have been thru. We are in a whole 'nuther stage at this house and it's difficult one. This too shall pass!
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Old 08-14-2008, 04:56 AM   #10
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Re: Help.....Dicipline for a 15 month old?

Quote:
Originally Posted by LilyGrace View Post
I hate to break it to you mama, but you have an alien on your hands. This is a creature unlike any other - his mission is to explore, know, and try to understand your world, but he is working with limitations your brain does not. The lack of impulse control combined with the desire to understand you and your world makes for some crazy situations indeed.

Creatures like this have been known to respond best to a small set of measures: redirection, short explanations (1-2 words), and lots of guidance. They need a tour guide. Are you up for the job?

I had one rather like yours living here. He was a bit different, of course, but he responded remarkably well to a rule that exploration was okay...as long as a guide was there. If he wanted to look in drawers - I was there to help him learn how to touch things, put up what was dangerous, and learn to put it away. If he wanted to press a button over and over, I was there to watch and make sure he got it out of his system. Doing this actually lessened the exploration time and had him moving on to other things instead of constantly touching. The mission had been completed, phase II could commence.

One more thing about creatures like this - since the curiousity is hardwired, there is little that deters them. It can only be grown out of. This means alien containment (aka time outs) or pain have little effect. The impulse simply cannot be controlled at this time. If you are lucky enough to continue having this extra-terrestrial live with you for the next few years, you will see a gradual decrease in spontanaiety and comparitive increase in well thought out actions that has little to do with external force. It just happens. Well, at least in all of the alien studies (and personal research that *I* have done).

Just want to repeat this All those things are completely normal and will pass. When the kids are toddlers, if I don't want them to touch it, it's put away, use those child locks/gates but give them a cabinet or drawer they can explore. I try to use no, stop and don't very sparingly, cause it just gets tuned out after a while. Instead of "don't hit" I say "hitting hurts", instead of "don't run" I say "we're walking", etc.
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