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Old 08-15-2008, 08:52 PM   #1
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Selective reduction- Updated. Final update- 9/10

Not sure if this post belongs here, but...

Does anybody have any experience with selective reduction? Stories, links, information?

After my sister's 3rd round of IVF, she is now pregnant but the doctor has suggested/demanded reduction. I am trying to be as supportive and non-judgemental as possible, but feel like there is no hope.

There are huge risks no matter what and there is not an easy answer. As much as she would like to be "John and Kate +8" she just doesn't feel like she can.

So, anyone?

8/22/08
I almost hate to update because I do NOT want a rush of opinions, but I just got off the phone with my sister.

One baby has died. She had an appointment today and discovered that one baby's heart was no longer beating.

She also met with a new doctor and he suggests either reducing to twins or keeping quads. She is still weighing the pros and cons of her decision. She will go on automatic bedrest at 24 weeks if she continues. The doctor does not want her to reduce to triplets. It's either twins or quads. He has successfully delivered 20 sets of quads.

Also, please refrain from giving me your opinion. This is a hugely stressful time and I would prefer not to hear your judgments on this matter. Please do not judge others. My sister wants these babies. I am only looking for personal stories, links, or information. Thank you to everyone who has given me support, I have passed on all the links to her.

Final update- 9/10/2008
My sister is now carrying twins. This has been a very difficult and emotional season for her and my family. Together we have cried many, many tears the past two days. Please pray for healing within my sister and our family. I am fully supporting her decision and know that she did not make this decision lightly. She chose to save the lives of two babies.

Please no flames. I have no desire to fight anyone. The topic is closed for discussion and I really don't care what "you" would have done in this situation. However, thank you all so much for all the links and personal stories. They truly were a blessing and helped in a very small way make this burden seem more bearable.

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Old 08-15-2008, 09:02 PM   #2
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Re: Selective reduction

No experience or stories. I just wanted to encourage you to encourage her to keep them all (you didn't say how many there are). Those babies are ALIVE, and "selective reduction" is nothing short of killing one or more of them (not to mention risking the others).

She has a right to say NO to the doctor.

I know it's got to be tough carrying and raising multiples, but selective reduction can carry with it a lifetime of regret and guilt.

Just my opinion..
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:02 PM   #3
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Re: Selective reduction

are you saying 8 eggs "took" the procedure?

what are you looking for? Suggestions, stories or prayers?

Anything is possible though right...rememeber that family that had..was it 7? They are now 10 (?) years old......of cource not with out difficultly and struggles
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:05 PM   #4
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Re: Selective reduction

I know IVF is expensive, by why in the world would someone have more embryos put in there than they are willing to keep? Sometimes they all implant. I know sometimes they don't, but you never know!
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:05 PM   #5
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Re: Selective reduction

A doctor cannot demand that. It's not his right. If it were me, I'd keep them all. She needs some encouragement; she can totally do it. Just one day at a time.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:09 PM   #6
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Re: Selective reduction

I totally agree with everyone else. I'd keep them all. I could never live with the guilt and regret of picking and choosing which babies to keep... That's tough...
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:09 PM   #7
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Re: Selective reduction

Quote:
Originally Posted by momma4of6 View Post
are you saying 8 eggs "took" the procedure?

what are you looking for? Suggestions, stories or prayers?

Anything is possible though right...rememeber that family that had..was it 7? They are now 10 (?) years old......of cource not with out difficultly and struggles
No, she's currently pregnant with 5 babies. All with good, strong heartbeats and all roughly the same size.

Here's the problem though, the media loves to tell the success stories. The people who went on bedrest at 22 weeks, who kept them all in until 30+ weeks. Nobody wants to hear the stories about the babies that died, or were born way too early or all have CP.

She wanted a baby and this is possibly more devastating then none at all.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:10 PM   #8
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Re: Selective reduction

wanted to add....

personally I would keep all the babies, I do not believe in abortion or elective picking. But my heart does go out to her, and I as a carring person I understand the struggles or fear and anxiety she must be facing...
Are either you or her Christian?

it does boggle my mind why someone would put more eggs in then they can handle though...not to be judgmental...it just makes me sad as the paper work and the dr had to pointed out the risks of having to do this...if he didnt he could be sued
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:12 PM   #9
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Re: Selective reduction

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3inclothdiapers View Post
I know IVF is expensive, by why in the world would someone have more embryos put in there than they are willing to keep? Sometimes they all implant. I know sometimes they don't, but you never know!
This was her 3rd round and there was no way to know this would happen. The eggs are "graded" on their quality and they all had a low quality (1-A, 1-B and 3- C). She is also 36 years old, which is a high maternal age.
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Old 08-15-2008, 09:14 PM   #10
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Re: Selective reduction

the lady that had seven had them at 20 something weeks..I thought (so I kindly disagree with what you said..media covers all sides of this...even the losses), yes some have health issues...but the family doesnt regrete it for a momment

Quote:
Originally Posted by bsmama View Post
No, she's currently pregnant with 5 babies. All with good, strong heartbeats and all roughly the same size.

Here's the problem though, the media loves to tell the success stories. The people who went on bedrest at 22 weeks, who kept them all in until 30+ weeks. Nobody wants to hear the stories about the babies that died, or were born way too early or all have CP.

She wanted a baby and this is possibly more devastating then none at all.
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