Re: Horrible experience with both foster parent & social services
mama- the system is screwed up (I know as I've been a social worker for the county for 2 years and have worked for the past 2 and a half years in a private foster/ adopt agency that contracts with the county). Unfortunately, your brother plays a huge role in all of this and so does every person who chooses to have sex (protected or not as we all know babies can still happen despite this!) with someone that they don't wish to make a bay with. Does he take responsibility for his role in making a baby with someone (whether planned or not) who is not able to be a stable parent? I guess I have just worked too long in the system and heard too many bio parents frustrated by the system when in reality their child and them would have never had to be in this situation if they had made wiser choices like only choosing to have sex with a healthy, stable person in a committed relationship who would be able to parent a child if in fact the sex results in a pregnancy. I know, call me crazy and idealistic but I get to experience the atrocities of what happens to children after many years of being lost in "the system" and I have to say that it is extremely difficult to feel pity for the birth parents when you see the pain and issues their children are facing and most likely will face for the rest of their life because of their parent's irresponsible and selfish choices. Thankfully, I get to see some awesome birth parents that do become responsible parents (like your bro) and it is so encouraging when you can see reunification take place and you know that it was the best thing. But so often, it is too little done, too late and the kids are the ones who end up suffering the most. I hope for your bro's sake that the county is able to see their role in not contacting him sooner and that they acknowledge and reward his progress and his fight to be able to parent his daughter. Please keep us posted and encourage your bro to keep fighting (in a positive way) and try to get a new judge or to talk to anyone he can. BTW, HE needs to do the legwork , not you or your mom- they need to see him taking the initiative and making the calls, appeals (which he has the right to make!) etc.
wife to my best friend, mommy to a sweet little boy (5/28/07), a spunky little girl (6/11/09) adopted through the foster care system on 3/18/11, and expecting baby boy Jan/Feb 2014.