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Old 08-22-2008, 10:46 AM   #21
bjaneen
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Re: I found my daughter!!

that's great mama!! congrats on finding her

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Old 08-22-2008, 10:54 AM   #22
Ontariomama
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Re: I found my daughter!!

That's wonderful! Bring lots of tissue!

I have been in contact with my bio family for 6 years on my dad's side, and 3 on my mother's. My dad passed away 2 years before we made contact so I never got to meet him. I speak to my Grammy every couple of months, but my mom has pretty much avoided/ignored every attempt I've made to contact her in the past year.

In my own experience, it's almost been a double rejection from her. Why put her info in the registry and make the first contact if she didn't want to follow through. It's like I've lost her twice, y'know?

My story is different though; she tried parenting me, and I was removed as an infant by CAS and put up for adoption.

BTW, my Grammy called yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. She called a week early because she didn't want to forget on Thursday!
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Old 08-23-2008, 08:22 PM   #23
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Re: I found my daughter!!

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Originally Posted by Ontariomama View Post
That's wonderful! Bring lots of tissue!

I have been in contact with my bio family for 6 years on my dad's side, and 3 on my mother's. My dad passed away 2 years before we made contact so I never got to meet him. I speak to my Grammy every couple of months, but my mom has pretty much avoided/ignored every attempt I've made to contact her in the past year.

In my own experience, it's almost been a double rejection from her. Why put her info in the registry and make the first contact if she didn't want to follow through. It's like I've lost her twice, y'know?


My story is different though; she tried parenting me, and I was removed as an infant by CAS and put up for adoption.

BTW, my Grammy called yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. She called a week early because she didn't want to forget on Thursday!
I am sorry about your experience. I have read a lot about adoption reunion and it is very common for pull backs to happen. Some people just don't know any other way to handle (or not handle) the emotions. I try really hard not to judge, since I know how much adoption grief can mess you up, but I find it much easier to stomach when the adoptee pulls back than the parents. I know the pain of loss can be unbelievable, but the parents don't have to deal with the feelings of rejection and abandonment. I just cannot imagine doing anything to make my daughter feel like that. Although, I have already told her that even though I have tried really hard to educate myself by reading a lot of stuff written by adoptees, I cannot know how it feels or what she is going through since I haven't walked in her shoes. So, I will probably do something wrong or mess something up.


Anyway, after that book.....meeting my daughter was so wonderful. It was indescribable. She is fabulous. I am sure I would like her even if she wasn't my daughter. We had so much in common. We sat and talked for about 4 hours. She loved my son and he loved her. He even kissed her and he is very stingy with his kisses.

I am still trying to take it all in. I am so glad that we met f2f. I got a completely different vibe off of her in person than I did on the phone. I had some kind of panic attack a couple of hours before going, I was so scared. And it just went so well. It just seems about too good to be true. I just keep waiting for the rug to get pulled out from underneath me. She said she wants to do it again though. I can't wait. My avatar is now a picture of me with both of my children. I am so happy. I cannot believe how healing finding her has been for me.
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Old 08-26-2008, 05:26 PM   #24
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Re: I found my daughter!!

Amazing!!!

I so wanted a little sister or brother (I'm the youngest of 4 in my adoptive family), but I was BOTH of my parents' only child!! Go figure!!

From the tiny picture, she seems to resemble you quite a bit!
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