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Old 08-16-2008, 11:40 AM   #1
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My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!! UPDATED!!

I am at my wits end. she pees way to much for me to cd her so I use pull-ups but on the income we make I am starting to not be able to afford it! She knows where she is suppose to go she go and when she is going she just has no desire to go on the potty. I have tried giving candy, giving stickers a chart everything i can think of. I really need to get her PT NOW. she wants to be like her sister and wear panties but when she does she has accidents in them everytime. please help! thanks



8/23- We have been doing the "naked" method and has worked REALLY well. she goes every time even poop! i am so happy! we are going to try this for a few more days then try panties!!! thanks for all the help!!!

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Old 08-16-2008, 12:08 PM   #2
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Re: My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!!

You may want to try going "old school" on her, it certainly would be cheaper than pull-ups especially if you already have underwear and a diaper cover on hand. For my daughter, I use training underwear (Hanna Anderson makes very absorbent ones. I bought them brand new from someone on this board) or even regular underwear and put a PUL diaper cover over it, the kind that velcros in the front (I don't think a pull-on kind will contain the urine as well when you are trying to get the cover off after she has had an accident). The diaper cover must be a smaller size than what she would wear over a cloth diaper since underwear obviously isn't as thick as a cloth diaper.

I was surprised to find that the PUL cover didn't leak even though my daughter wet regular underwear. Your daughter will at least know immediately that she is wet, it is uncomfortable, and she wants it OFF and the PUL cover will prevent her from making a mess everywhere.

Good luck and hope it helps
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Old 08-17-2008, 02:36 PM   #3
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Re: My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!!

anyone have pt tips??? i really want to get her PT'd
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Old 08-17-2008, 02:40 PM   #4
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Re: My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!!

Have you tried taking everything below the belt off and just letting her be half naked for a few days and see if that works?

It sounds like she knows what to do, she just doesn't want to.

I know it sounds like something someones grandmother would say to do but *shrug* kids don't wanna pee themselves, and then they can't FORGET they don't have something on.

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Old 08-18-2008, 12:43 PM   #5
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Re: My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!!

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Originally Posted by Ruiz'sPieces View Post
anyone have pt tips??? i really want to get her PT'd
You said she wants to be like her sister? In that case, could have her accompany big sister to the washroom when she goes, and go on the potty after her? Some second kids do very well when they watch and copy an admired older sibling. My friend's mom says he trained at 12 months old because he wanted to copy his 22 month old brother so badly. (this was 38 years ago).

I also was wondering if you ASK dd if she wants to go to the potty, or just take her? As long as she's not the obstinate type, just taking her there at regular times and making it a routine may be better than asking her if she wants to go, which may invite a "no" response. Also, she may make potty trips more frequently that way. If you are asking and/or waiting for her to tell you when she wants to go, whe might not be going very often.

Would either of those ideas work for you?
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Old 08-18-2008, 02:43 PM   #6
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Re: My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!!

i was in the same boat with my ds, who is also 3 and 1/2. we tried for SEVEN months with him sitting on the potty but he would never go. like you, i tried every kind of reward thing, bought the little potty, the adapting seat for the big potty, the pull-ups, the training pants...EVERYTHING. i finally just let it be for a while and then he finally started showing a little more interest in it. then just 2 weeks ago i brought his little potty into the living room and sat him on it in front of one of his favorite shows. he just sat there and FINALLY went! i made a huge deal, which made him excited to go. we are still a long way from completely potty trained but in this short two weeks i have figured something out. as soon as you put anything on him, diaper, pull-up, training pants, underwear, he will eventually pee in it. but if i leave him naked from the waist down, he says, "oh! i have to go sit on the potty!" he does it every time with no accidents. i don't even have to remind him. he just goes when he needs to. i think it's because he knows there's nothing there so he has to go sit on the potty. so i've decided i'm going to stick with that for a week or two and then see if he's ready for underwear. sorry that was so long but i hope it helps you at least a little bit! good luck! i so feel your frustration!
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Old 08-18-2008, 06:27 PM   #7
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Re: My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!!

I PT my 4 and 5 YO girls at the same time because the 5 YO was too stubborn so I waited til the younger one was ready....I FLOODED them w/ drinks all day, kept them wehre I could see them adn set the timer for every 30 minutes...every 30 minutes when it would beep they would sit on their potty...If they peed in the potty they got a reward if they didnt we tried again in 30 minutes....day 2 was 45 minutes....day 3 was 60 minutes....day 4 no timer no accidents...poop was an whole different story but we finally got that taken care of as well...
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Old 08-18-2008, 07:03 PM   #8
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Re: My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!!

That pants free thing sounds very interesting, but I'd be nervous about wet floors! But if it works....
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Old 08-19-2008, 02:09 PM   #9
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Re: My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!!

This may sound mean, but I have a VERY strong willed oldest daughter. She would not pt for anything! She was 3 years 7 months old and she knew exactly what was going on, but didn't want to. She was supposed to start preschool in just a couple of months but couldn't go if she wasn't potty trained. We had tried everything, just like you mentioned. I'd even let her run around with nothing on for a week! No luck.

So we started taking toys away. Her toys were in plastic tubs in her bedroom and for each accident she had, we would take away a tub. If she went potty she got her tub back. It took 2 days and us taking away her beloved blankie and then she got it. Not one accident since.

Let me also say this tends to be a cycle for her. She decides when she wants to do something and no one else. Two weeks ago she deceided she wanted to ride a two wheeler and she did it in about 2 hours. She was 14 months old before she decieded to walk and was running the same day.
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Old 08-20-2008, 08:43 AM   #10
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Re: My 3 1/2 yo REFUSES to use the potty!!

My boys are a bit younger, they'll be 3 in October, and one of them refused to go on the potty until about a week ago. Like your DD, he knew what to do and he knew when he was peeing and/or pooping because he'd tell us as he was doing it and would ask to be changed right after. He'd sit on the potty for half an hour holding it while asking us to put a dipe on him so that he could pee or poop in it. It was very frustrating, but we didn't want to push him. His brother (twin) started using his potty pretty much out of the blue last week and has been getting pretty consistent. Over the past couple of days, William has been asking to use the potty too. He's only gone once, but he's asking. As much as I've been hoping they would have PL'd by now, I really do believe that the child will decide when they're ready and it'll be a much more positive experience for everyone involved.

Oh... And I get what you're saying about the pull-ups too. We can't use our cloth when we go out anymore because since they're holding it soooo long, they soak through everything. At home, we've been putting them in trainers and they will often soak through, but we just keep giving potty opportunities and watch for wet bums. Good luck!
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